• Bush unafraid to reveal his manipulation tactics to reporters, they’re slower on the uptake than terrorists. [The Carpetbagger Report]

• When Nancy Pelosi says “civility and bipartisanship,” she means “get medieval on your ass.” [Whiskey Bar]
• Libertarians are kingmakers in Montana, still paupers everywhere else. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
• Fox News blurb-writing done by either a Murdoch or a 7th grader. [Think Progress]
• Massive election gains by Democrats were not by accident, not a result of your favorite conspiracy theories. [Unclaimed Territory]
• Timing of Rumsfeld ouster irks right-side bloggers and GOP candidates that could’ve benefited from that shit happening two months ago. [Captain's Quarters]
• Republicans to pressure George Allen to concede, as they can’t stand his mouth either. [Hotline on Call]
• Jim Webb announces his transition team, for spite. [MoJo Blog]
• Rumsfeld had offered to peace before, but yesterday’s events made it inevitable. [Gawker]
• Ok, maybe the comedians didn’t quite have the Rummy rumor first. But they were close. [theGarance]

• Another nail in Cocktober’s coffin: everyone’s had the Foley emails since June. [Harpers]

• Duke Cunningham breaks out the crayons, scrawls letter to San Diego Union-Tribune. [TPMMuckracker]
• Fox News is preparing to serve their new masters. [MoJo Blog ]
• New anti-Coulter books fuel the hate-filled flattery she thrives on. [GalleyCat]
• Ironically, we only read blogs for the pictures of naked ladies. [Radosh]
• Are Saudis increasing the oil supply to lower prices and help the Republicans? They would, if they had any left. [Outside the Beltway]

• There are telltale signs hidden in the details of the Cocktober Surprise, sitting there, waiting to be discovered - clues that God himself orchestrated the “Do I make you horny?” IM convos. [Unclaimed Territory]

• Rove aide and sports fan Susan Ralston resigns over Abramoff scandal. [TPMMuckraker]
• North Korea’s not building nukes to bargain with, they’re building them to blow shit up with. [Captain's Quarters]
• Obama is exactly twice the dinner companion that John Kerry is — but should eat more, he’s still kinda a skinny kid. [The Swamp]
• David Ignatius gets a big fat late pass. [Sadly, No!]
• Bush to be impeached, basically any minute now. [After Downing Street]
• David Brooks thinks Mark Foley is a folk hero to be “worshiped at consciousness-raising drum circles.” [Hit & Run]
• It’s a 3-day weekend guys, better start puffing down so you can remember it. [ScrappleFace]

• Hastert displays his stammering and backpedaling techniques, gets winded going back to 2003 — when he first learned about Foley. [WP, NYT, USAT]

• In an interview with the Chicago Tribune, a cornered, paranoid Hastert lashes out: Foley scandal is fault of Brian Ross, George Soros, and Bill Clinton consortium. [CT]
• WP prints more of the Foley IMs, but redacts the good parts. ABC on the other hand didn’t bother to redact the name of the teenager Foley sent emails too, though since corrected. [WP]
• Political fallout aside, Foley might be okay. “For the most part, the law is going to allow you to be a dirty old man.” [W$J]
• Dan Bartlett thinks bloggers have “too much time on their hands,” and that Bush’s “comma” remark is historical analysis, not belittling pith. [WP]
• White House, like, still totally down with waterboarding, brah. [WP]
• Five at Hewlett-Packard charged with criminal conspiracy, face fines that amount to a month of “latte money.” [NYT, LAT]
• Ben Bernanke warns of a “substantial correction” in the housing market. Sorry about your condo. [W$J]

• A cabin in Montana and a copy of Newsweek is all you need to forget this world forever. [The Carpetbagger Report]

• Economics wonks: “9-11 was not that big an event.” DOES THEIR CONTRARIANISM KNOW NO BOUNDS? [Freakonomics]
• The Rude One pens his power ballad at ground zero, finds roses still thorny. [Rude Pundit]
• Freaks don’t just come out at night, they are also regular attendees of disaster anniversaries. [Little Green Footballs]
• White House maintaining policy of admitting to things 18 months after The New Yorker finds them out. [The Cool Honey]
• Bill Richardson eats cheetah steaks for breakfast just because it’s so baller. [The Corsair]
• Abu Ghraib prisoners now torturing selves over complaining about American torture, which apparently isn’t close to Iraqi torture. [Telegraph]

• George Allen’s campaign trying to hire “conservative blog maven” to put out the fires next time he blurts out an onomatopoetic racial slur. [Hotline On Call]

• GOP attacks Kos, publishes dirty words on site. [GOP.com]
• Joe Scarborough covers “Fake News vs. Fox News” as if it’s real news. [Crooks and Liars]
• Tucker Carlson removed his satin shirt before calling the Democratic leadership, “wussies.” [Media Matters]
• Magic chicken bones indicate nation to enter recession. [Jeff Matthews Is Not Making This Up]
• The rest of the world hates America because, “they’re just mad we thought of bombing them before they thought of bombing themselves.” [Pandagon]

• At 9:30 tonight, after roughly your 8th beer, the US will have been in Iraq longer than it was in WWII. This is because the Nazis were total pussies. [Ironing The Flag]

• President Bush’s high school report card shows an eager, if unfocused young learner. [McSweeney's]
• More fuel for the debate on whether life in Washington imitates The West Wing or whether The West Wing imitates life. [Blog DC]
• Michael Fitzpatrick (R-PA) has a staffer crash a conference call to pepper his opponent with petty challenges - good thing John Kerry likes watching a campaign implode as much as the next guy. [Fact-esque]
• Air America is still on the air in America, you just have to have America’s most powerful radio to hear it. [WFMU]
• Fox News lets no paranoid conspiracy theory go unreported. [YouTube]
• West Virginia: so shitty even penniless immigrants from the third world won’t live there. [MSNBC]

• Ned Lamont not dissimilar from another famous Lamont, have more than just selling junk in common. [Hot Johnny]

• Congressman Ralph Hall “loves bush” wants to “pull down his britches” and show him how much. [Pink Dome]
• Blair and Bush: one is working hard, the other’s hardly working. [ThinkProgress]
• Americans go AWOL in culture war. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• Deserters to form own Army whose central tenet is unwavering belief in all internet conspiracy theories. [Shakespeare's Sister]
• A double barreled shotgun: when you absolutely must shoot every motherfucker in the room, in the face. [Andrew Sullivan]
• ExxonMobil uses loser who lives in his parent’s basement as cover for their An Inconvenient Truth parody. [The Raw Story]

• Al Sharpton’s descent into madness reaches new milestone with incorporation of the “Space Jam” theme song into Connecticut rally speech. [Hartford Courant]

• Dilbert creator longs to be a cog in the machine. [Dilbert Blog]
• A convenient truth: global warming is producing new premium beers. [BBC]
• Intern humiliates DHS by creating informative website in two flip-flop-wearing months. [Boing Boing]
• If Smith Point advertised on television, this it what it would look like. [Logged Hours]
• Some days Tony Snow wishes he was still asking the questions, instead of not answering them. [Boozhy]
• National Conservative Student Conference peddling masturbatory fodder to “baby wingnuts.” [Pandagon]

* Short week, short review. First thing you need to know is: on Friday, Wal-Mart tried to answer the questions, “Why you acting shady? Why you ain’t callin’ me baby?”, by having Beyonce and Taylor Hicks perform at their shareholder meeting. CostCo admits they were served. MORE »

Remember the pneumatic hammer attack last week that shut down the entire Capitol complex? Turns out, not a hammer: leftover War of 1812 grudge. MORE »

* The takeover is complete when bloggers turn their guns away from the MSM and take aim at the “free alternative weeklies.” [DCeiver] MORE »

* President Ahmadinejad can send a mix tape with any songs he wants, all Bush hears in his head is the remix to that Outkast song — Bombs over Tehran. [Arms Control Wonk] MORE »