conspiracy

EACH BENGHAZI MORE BENGHAZI THAN THE LAST  11:13 am May 10, 2013

Fox News Was Right About Benghazi All Along and Probably Everything Else Too

by Jesse Berney

Impeach! Impeach! IMPEACH! Everything terrible you ever believed about our tyrannical gun-grabbing socialist Muslim foreign-born gay president has turned out to be true, according to the latest expose on Solyndra Fast and Furious Benghazi from ABC News: ABC News has obtained 12 different versions of the talking points that show they were extensively edited as [...]

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH  3:04 pm May 2, 2013

Very Lucid NH Legislator Could Just Tell Those Blowed-Off Boston Legs Were Faked By Evil Government

by snipy

There’s been a bit of a tin-foil lining to the Boston bombing, in that it has allowed us to really sort out who the most insensitive terrible meatsacks are wandering about in the public sphere. We likely would have gone to our graves never knowing the awfulness of New Hampshire state legislator (seriously, New England, [...]

THE SKEET'S GONNA HIT THE FAN  5:20 pm February 5, 2013

Hot New Conspiracy Theory: Wimpy Gun-Fearing Tyrant Obama Sending Death Squads To Murder Gun Fondlers

by Doktor Zoom

Hey, you know how Barack Obama is a liberal sissy who is too limp-wristed to handle a gun, so he fears and wants to ban them? So now, to add to that stew, there’s the (actual) true fact that the administration really does believe that it’s totally legal for the President to send death robots [...]

NEW SHERIFF NOT IN TOWN  8:45 am November 21, 2012

Unsuccessful Sheriff Candidate Who Promised To Arrest All Abortions Moves To Chile To Be Next Pinochet Maybe

by snipy

People of Hillsborough County, New Hampshire! You have done a great disservice to yourself and this nation by failing to elect Frank Szabo as sheriff. Now who will protect you all from federal agents and abortions? In an interview with the Monitor ahead of the primary, Szabo pledged to protect citizens against rogue federal bureaucrats [...]

STILL STEALING THE COUNTRY  5:05 pm November 20, 2012

Obama Steals Election, Again, According to Totally Clear Evidence

by Wonkette Jr.

We’ve been suspicious about possible voter fraud ever since effeminate numbers demon Nate Silver had a vision during his Pagan Rituals of a comfortable Obama reelection. With the weight of those mathematical odds in your favor, you’d almost be forced to resort to stuffing ballot boxes to remain in office. Good thing there’s an edgy, [...]

THE PROTOCROWLEYS OF THE ELDERS OF CNN  4:46 pm October 22, 2012

Intrepid Conservative Blogger Magnificently Exposes Massive Hofstra-Based Conspiracy

by Jesse Taylor

Follow along, libtards, as some guy on the internet blows your whole world up. Last week’s town hall debate was notable for many things – Romney trying to bumrush Obama like eighteen times, Obama not falling asleep five minutes in, and Candy Crowley sort of correcting Mitt Romney by shooting him right in his stupid [...]

MIND THE GAP  12:54 pm October 17, 2012

Fox News Watergates Debate Transcript; Erases Four Worst Minutes Of Mitt Romney’s Life

by Jesse Taylor

There’s a conspiracy afoot, kid detectives! After the debate, the networks posted “transcripts” of the debate. “What’s a transcript?” your dumb friend might ask. Well, a transcript is when someone writes down everything people said and then you cite from it on the internet! Well, Fox News “transcribed” the debate last night, but there was [...]

THE BIRTHERS ARE NOW THE RINGERS  5:20 pm October 10, 2012

WND: Obama Gay Married Islam

by Jesse Taylor

It’s been nearly…oh, a few days, maybe, since there was an insane conspiracy theory about Barack Obama, so of course there’s another one! Barack Obama has a wedding ring, and unlike a normal American male, it is slightly fancy with squiggles and shit. Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., has investigated the ring through blurry, pixelated pictures [...]

EMPLOYMENT IS AN INSIDE JOB  9:28 am October 5, 2012

Insanely Low New Unemployment Numbers Mean Barack Obama Did 9/11

by Jesse Taylor

Good news! The new Bureau of Labor Statistics unemployment report came out, and more Americans are working, the unemployment rate dropped to 7.8%, and jobs numbers were revised upwards in July and August. Of course, Barry Obama had a bad debate on Wednesday, so how could the economy mysteriously be recovering two days after Obama [...]

TWO MINUTES IN HEAVEN  1:15 pm September 19, 2012

Romney Tape Is Missing Two Minutes That Will Probably Lose Obama The Election

by Jesse Taylor

Two days after everything changed because Mitt Romney made clear he really, truly does not care for 47% of America, conservative bloggers have finally found the key to saving Romney’s ass from the comments they also think are entirely, completely awesome: there are two minutes missing from the 49 minutes of otherwise unbroken, unedited video, [...]

LIKELY STORIES  12:05 pm March 2, 2012

Wingnut Michael ‘Savage’ Weiner: Breitbart Was Assassinated

by Wonkette Jr.

Second-rate AM radio jackass Michael “Savage” Weiner has an important insight regarding the collapse and death of blogger Andrew Breitbart on a sidewalk Wednesday night: It was maybe an assassination! After all, Breitbart liked to go around claiming he had hawt videos of Barack Obama talking to liberals, which makes Barack Obama ineligible to be [...]

NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!  1:57 pm January 16, 2012

TSA Now Testing Radiation Levels of TSA Airport Security Workers

by Wonkette Jr.

How safe are those “backskatter” radiation machines, again? Completely safe, of course! But the Department of Homeland Security is just going to do a little check-and-see, just in case thousands and thousands of TSA airport security workers are about to be diagnosed with terrible cancers that will result, we assume, in the biggest lawsuit in [...]

ONLY BROWNS GET THE CHAIR  4:47 pm January 10, 2011

Tom DeLay Sentenced To Three Years In Prison With Himself

by Jack Stuef

Texas judge Pat Priest sentenced DeLay to three years on a conspiracy charge and also sentenced him to five years in prison for money laundering. Priest, however, allowed DeLay to accept 10 years probation on the money laundering charge, assuming he meets certain conditions set by the court. DeLay could have received up to life [...]

OH GREAT GET THE UN INVOLVED  3:49 pm September 27, 2010

UN Appoints Minor Bureaucrat To Deal With Space Alien Invasion

by Ken Layne

Have you heard about the impending invasion of the Space Devils? Whether it’s another discovery of a new “earthlike” planet filled with thousand-foot-tall rape monsters or the latest MSNBC documentary about the night demons who arrive all the time in UFOs as foretold in the Bible, it seems we just can’t escape the fact that [...]

A SNOWBILLY WRAPPED IN A RIDDLE INSIDE AN ENIGMA  5:03 pm September 22, 2010

Scary YouTube Movie Proves Sarah Palin Is Weird

by Ken Layne

Are you ready for the X-Files + Loose Change × JFK of our Time? Of course you are! This is the whole point of the Internet! Well, the very busy bees at the Palingates blog have just announced the “birth” of a very spooky/crazy YouTube thriller called The Perfidy of Sarah Palin; Chapter 2. The [...]

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