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Posts Tagged “Conspiracies”

america's monkey

Lyndon LaRouche: Obama's a Monkey Working For British Intelligence!

Finally, he speaks. Former conspiracy theory presidential candidate and the Original Ron Paul, Lyndon LaRouche, has offered his take on the Obama phenomenon. It ain't so good! Specifically: Obama's father was a bad father and also an agent with MI5, every male from every continent inseminated Obama's whore of a mother, and Obama is a monkey who also works with British Intel. Obama is also a Racist. More »

2:18 PM on Thu Apr 17 2008
By Newell
3,308 views, 57 comments

trust no one

Mulder & Scully Crack 9/11-Condi Conspiracy

A long time ago in the 1990s there was this teevee program called The X-Files — a creepy mix of Nixon-era political conspiracy, the occult, fake terror attacks, FEMA killing everybody, and Space Demons. It seemed completely fantastic until 2001, when Dick Cheney and George W. Bush began their reign of horror. And finally, after years of silence, the creators of the X-Files are talking about how this administration stole all their ideas, even 9/11! More »

2:25 PM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Ken Layne
4,246 views, 33 comments

the internet's latest gem

Morons To Save America By Taking Mass Sick Day

DO YOU HATE THE GOVERNMENT AND ITS LIES AND THE HORRIBLE CORRUPT CORPORATES WITH THEIR LIES TOO AND THEN DO YOU HATE HOW NO ONE CARES ABOUT ANYTHING AND THE IRAQ AND THE EARMARKS AND ALSO THE LIES? YOU SHOULD CALL IN SICK TO WORK ON MARCH 19 THEN BECAUSE THAT WILL STOP THE LIES AND IRAQ AND CORRUPTION. THIS WILL SHOW THAT HIPPOCRITT HOMO JOHN EDWARDS WHOS BOSS. More »

1:21 PM on Fri Feb 22 2008
By Newell
3,553 views, 90 comments

north american union

Buy Your Ameros Today

Ron Paul’s biggest fear — the conglamo-fascist North American Union and its henchman, the NAFTA superhighway of greeeed! — is rapidly coming to fruition: you are now able to purchase Ameros, the would-be currency of the Hitlerish NAU. Granted these Ameros are made by some random dude to be collector’s items, no real political statement attached, but obviously the Paultards will be all up in this shit. I pray for your life, dear souvenir coinmaker! [DC Coins]

11:17 AM on Tue Dec 4 2007
By Newell
1,389 views, 37 comments

Latest by CaptainBobbles: Arr me maties! Bobbles says, perhaps this may offer an explanation to the current credit "crunch"? The only way to convince a pirate to put down his sword, or a capitalist to put down his dollar would be to crush it,(or more »

dept. of embassy row gay sex parties

NYC Gay Legend Dead After Saudi Sex Parties In D.C.

Dean Johnson was a six-foot-six bald-headed HIV-positive meth-using porn star and glam-rock frontman known for his New York events such as C.B.G.B.’s “Rock ‘n Roll Fag Party.” He was found dead in D.C. last week, and his unidentified corpse sat in a local morgue for days before being identified. Oh, and according to the New York Post, Johnson was routinely visiting Washington to run “weird sex parties” for an unidentified Saudi millionaire. More »

5:38 PM on Tue Oct 2 2007
By KLayne
21,155 views, 41 comments

Latest by n/a: oh yea, one more fact check: You rehashed the Post's mistake of calling Dean's party "Rock and Roll Fag Party" It was "Rock and Roll Fag Bar" and it was at the World, not at CBGB's and, like, EVERYONE went. more »

gossip

Gossip Roundup: L'Age d'Or

  • Heard on the Hill: 150 boxes marked Tom DeLay and filled with photos, papers, and video tapes were sitting in a Rayburn subbasement Monday. [Roll Call]
  • Yeas and Nays: Senator Robert Byrd advised Barack Obama not to run for President in 2008, because the Senate is secretly better and more important. Obama wisely does not repeat Byrd’s “it’s called the White house, son” comment. Also, the President promptly had an aide sanitize his hands the first time he shook Obama’s hand… Proving that this town desperately needs a good music store, Stevie Wonder was forced to brave mook metalheads at Guitar Center when he needed a new keyboard [Examiner]
  • Under the Dome: President Bush, on the Hill to persuade Congress to abdicate a couple more of their Constitutional powers to him, causes Nancy Pelosi to almost — almost — say something funny… Sundance Channel’s The Hill proves it: Girls fuck Republicans, marry Democrats. [The Hill]
  • Reliable Source: 300 rich people at a polo match scramble to pick up dollar bills strewn across the field. Sadly, Luis Bunuel too dead to film it. [WP]
  • Lowdown: Josh Hartnett plays right into CIA’s hands, giving his moronic support to Paul Wellstone assassination conspiracy theory, discrediting it forever. [NYDN, last item]

2:57 PM on Tue Sep 19 2006
By Pareene
71 views, 4 comments

Latest by Lacy: Sometimes Democrat girls *do* date Republicans. At least it keeps your fights with the SO interesting. ;) Though I imagine it must be a lot harder if you both work in politics, rather than spar over the Sunday paper. And more »

ask a hill staffer

Ask a Hill Staffer: Outsourced Edition

Our Anonymous Hill Staffer, direct from Bangalore: “So I got a lot of questions that couldn’t be answered by a Hill staffer without a little help… luckily, every government agency (and most NGOs) have departments dedicated to answering the asinine questions of Hill staffers… so I forwarded the questions along, and paraphrased their answers back.” More »

2:04 PM on Wed Jun 7 2006
By Pareene
228 views, 3 comments

week in review

Wonkette's Week in Review: All The News That Fits

  • CIA Director Porter Goss called it quits this week, and didn’t make up a reason for leaving. Not even the standard “time with my family” excuse, which of course makes us think it had something to do with the hookers or the gambling and payola. Anyway, he’s back on the gulf shore already, and everyone is waiting to hear who the next shady character to take over the job is going to be.
  • In a drug-addled haze, Patrick Kennedy drove his car into a concrete barrier early Thursday morning. We were so hoping it was an 8-ball he chased with a liter of plastic-bottle vodka, but it looks like Pat is just your average congressional pill-popper. To add insult to self-induced injury, he only made it three blocks away from the bar before he crashed, which is nothing new for him. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back, though, and he’s admitted powerlessness and is heading to rehab. Godspeed Patrick, we’ll probably see you there soon.
  • Crazy-ass Zacarias Moussaoui gets to spend the rest of his life at a supermax prison in South Park Florence, Colorado.
  • Dick Cheney is featured in the June Vanity Fair. The article confirms a lot of suspicions about him being a bit of an odd duck and a “big time” asshole.
  • We almost forgot, there was huge party last weekend that we wrote all about after sobering up. Of course after the party, there’s the after-party, and after the party it’s the hotel lobby.

4:10 PM on Sat May 6 2006
By dlat
82 views, Comment

lunatics

The Popish Plot Behind Illegal Immigration

Looks like Adele Fergusen has some competition for “craziest columnist at a non-major newspaper.” From Fort Wayne, Indiana — the same metropolitan area that spawned the insane Tony Zirkle — we get this insightful commentary: More »

8:47 PM on Tue May 2 2006
By dlat
166 views, 7 comments

week in review

Wonkette's Week in Review

  • The big news of the week: according to a new court filing in the Scooter Libby prosecution, Libby testified that he leaked information about a National Intelligence Estimate with the specific permission of President Bush.
  • The Senate fails to strike an immigration deal before leaving for spring recess. Our take on the issue is available here.
  • Katie Couric announces that she’ll be leaving the Today show to anchor the CBS Evening News. We offer CBS some suggestions for showcasing her nice legs.
  • Cynthia McKinney apologizes on the House floor for her scuffle with the Capitol Police — which a federal grand jury is looking into. McKinney’s colleagues have been steering clear of her lately, fearful that she might club them with her Dasani bottle.
  • The scandals keep on coming in this town. Brian Doyle, deputy press secretary at the DHS, has been arrested on charges of using a computer to seduce a child.
  • New scandals erupt, and the old ones keep rolling on. Jessica Cutler’s lawyer files a “notice of withdrawal” (hehe), perhaps because he was involved with her back when in her Washingtonienne days. A judge allows Robert Steinbuch’s invasion-of-privacy lawsuit against Jessica to proceed.

1:41 PM on Sun Apr 9 2006
By dlat
86 views, Comment

campbell brown

Today in Crazy Talk and Unsourced Rumor-Mongering

On Tuesday, we revealed the terrifying truth about Campbell Brown’s imaginary mobster brother. Today, another emailer who can’t wrap his mind around the idea of an attractive media figure marrying an attractive political insider for non-conspiratorial reasons. This crazy email, alas, is run-of-the-mill IJC Zionist Plot theorizing, and not full-on lunatic rambling: More »

7:06 PM on Fri Apr 7 2006
By Pareene
800 views, Comment

ann coulter

The Muslims: And They Roast Christian Babies On Spits and Eat Them, Too

Do we make too much fun of right-wing pundit Ann Coulter in these pages? More »
the left

Somebody Stop The Left Before They Kill Again

Blogger/individual embodiment of The Left Norbizness has collected, through the magic of Google Blogsearch, a complete record of his/their misdeeds. It’s an impressive list. More »

3:07 PM on Thu Feb 16 2006
By Pareene
99 views