conspiracies
Oh Look, An Actual Shadow Government Conspiracy Called ‘Skunk Works’ Is Happening In Michigan
Let’s say you are Michigan nerd-governor Rick Snyder’s chief information officer David Behen and let’s say you had a fun idea for a school voucher policy. How would you go about making your special plan a reality? Would you go through normal channels to make policy in the transparent process that we’ve become accustomed to in these [...]
Wingnut Congresswoman Demands To See Obama’s Longform Skeet-Shooting Video
This might be the first time ever that right-wingers accused a black man of not having a gun. OB (Original Birther) Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) appeared Monday night on CNN, and totally didn’t believe that Obama goes skeet-shooting, as he told the New Republic. “If he is a skeet-shooter, why have we not heard of this? [...]
Daily Caller Writer Was Just Asking Responsible Questions About Hillary Clinton Faking It
Jim Treacher, who periodically writes incredibly stupid shit at the Daily Caller Media Foundation Trademark, is now demanding the real birth certificate for Hillary Clinton’s concussion or something, and DEMANDS RESPECT FOR HIS CRUSADE. A few weeks ago, when Hillary’s people said she wouldn’t be testifying about Benghazi because she’d fallen down and hit her [...]
Obama Lies About How Much He Liked Daniel Inouye Because Whatever
President Obama delivered a eulogy at the funeral services for recently deceased Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye, but OBVIOUSLY LIED AND EXAGGERATED ALL HIS TIES TO INOUYE because, as National Review writer Patrick Brennan points out, Inouye is basically nowhere to be found in the Bill Ayers’s best-seller Dreams From My Father: The Rise of Comrade [...]
Ol’ Rush Limbaugh Pretty Sure Obama Behind Tampa’s Republican Convention Hurricane
Yargle bargle floop, word word word. LIMBAUGH: So we got a hurricane coming. The National Hurricane Center, which is a government agency, is very hopeful that the hurricane gets near Tampa. The National Hurricane Center is Obama. It’s the National Weather Service, part of the commerce department. It’s Obama.
Texas Judge Wants Tax Increase To Help Law Enforcement Fend Off Obama’s U.N. Takover
Now here’s a case, maybe the only case, for raising taxes that could appeal to Bold Conservatives, straight from Judge Tom Head of Lubbock County, Texas: If that there Obamer fella were to win reelection, God Almighty forbid, and hand over American sovereignty to the United Nations, there’d be such righteous civil unrest in the [...]
Tennessee State Rep. Knows Precisely How Obama Will Steal This Election
Good news, people of Tennessee: we get to discuss your state legislature again this morning! Oh, put away your groans. This guy you’ve got, state Rep. Kelly Keisling, had such a smart insight into the future of American politics that he took the liberty of emailing it to his constituents. How’s the rest of 2012 [...]
A Brief Guide To the Evil 2012 Bilderberg Conference, In Virginia
It’s that time of year again, when the Global Illuminati Powerful Rich Folk gather in secret, to hide their secrets and drink dragon blood and eat gold cookies at the Bilderberg Conference. It is a very closed affair and no one in the mainstream media covers it, because everyone in the media is a pussy. [...]
Romney Campaign Starting To Get Weird
You guys, we are starting to worry about the Mitt Romney campaign. They seem to be getting a little paranoid, like they’ve maybe read one too many email forwards from Glenn Beck. The event was a double-secret press conference at the solar energy company Solyndra — “double-secret,” obviously, because if the President’s vast army of [...]
Okie Sen. James Inhofe: No Climate Change Because Bible Told Him So
Best and smartest US Senator by universal acclamation James Inhofe has laideth down some Science on thee during an interview with (who else?) the Voice of Christian Youth America radio show “Crosstalk.” Spaketh Inhofe, while evangelizing his new “book,” The Greatest Hoax: How the Global Warming Conspiracy Threatens Your Future, “Well actually the Genesis 8:22 [...]
Iran: U.S. Was Working With Bin Laden To Do Terrorism
From Iran’s semi-state-run news agency: The US has killed the Al-Qaeda leader, Osama Bin Laden, in a bid to prevent any possible leakage of intelligence and information about the US-Al-Qaeda joint terrorist operations, a senior Iranian legislator underscored on Monday. He just wanted to underscore that, in case everyone forgot about that widely accepted fact. [...]
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