Tag: conspiracies

Donald Trump To Blame Mexican For All His Pussy-Grabbing Problems

OBVIOUSLY it was the Mexicans. And the Jews. And the bankers. And the globalists. And the media. And Hillary Clinton. And ...

This Is A Really Good Song About How Hillary Clinton Is Super Evil And Coughs Sometimes

Sung by your boyfriend, William Tapley, third eagle of the apocalypse and co-prophet of these end times.
This fucking guy

Surprise! ‘Chris Christie Is A Lying Liar Who Lies About Stuff!’ Love, His Staff

UH OH! It looks as though Donald Trump's faithful manservant, Chris Christie, might be in a spot of bother, again!

Deleted Comments: Oh, Goody, It’s Time For ‘Pro-Lifers’ To Carry Out Some Vigilante Justice

Our deleted commenters' try some verbal fireworks, and blow off their own fingers. Don't try this at home!

Will Elite Jack-Booted Thugs Impose Martial Law To Stop Donald Trump? Jim Bakker Thinks So!

All these un-American types who hate Donald Trump and also FREEDOM and probably KITTENS and PUPPIES are going to do a false-flag attack to stop Trump from being president, oh no!

PSA: Maple Syrup Will Not Cure Your Baby’s Swollen Brains Because It Is Not Medicine

Welcome welcome! It's time once more for the Snake Oil Bulletin. Today we present a Special Edition of the Bulletin, with a very specific, important message: Please, for the love of all things holy, GIVE YOUR CHILDREN REAL HONKING...
Time to retire, old man.

What Really Happened To Harry Reid? The Wingnut Theories Might Not Surprise You!

A friend of mine was in Las Vegas a week or two ago. He talked to a number of people there about Reid’s accident, and didn’t find anyone who believed the elastic exercise band story. The common assumption was...
Some people say...

People Who Think About Gay Sex A Lot Uncover Massive Gay Conspiracy At Fox News

The truth is out there, man, and the truth is pretty damn gay. Fox News's anti-Christian, pro-butt-sechs bias has been exposed by a handful of brave truth warriors, and we now have completely verifiable and not at all made up...
Dear Sir or Madame: I am outraged by the lack of variety in the .gifs on this blog!

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Labor Day Loonies Edition

Happy Labor Day, workers of the world! While you and your grillables marinate in anticipation of the big holiday Bar-B-Q/bonfire, we bring you these offerings from the comments queue. Just be careful not to leave them out too long...
No, no... I really don't think Hillary's a lesbian. I mean, I'd know, right?

Wingnut Can’t Wait For 2016 To Tell Everyone What A Lezzie Slut Hillary Is, And Bill Is Not Even Chelsea’s Dad Either

Some days the Wonkette tipline brings in an abundance of pure batshit craziness, but seldom does quite such a large helping of it arrive in a single dose like the incredibly long email we received over the weekend from...

Oh Look, An Actual Shadow Government Conspiracy Called ‘Skunk Works’ Is Happening In Michigan

Let's say you are Michigan nerd-governor Rick Snyder's chief information officer David Behen and let's say you had a fun idea for a school voucher policy. How would you go about making your special plan a reality? Would you go...

Wingnut Congresswoman Demands To See Obama’s Longform Skeet-Shooting Video

This might be the first time ever that right-wingers accused a black man of not having a gun. OB (Original Birther) Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) appeared Monday night on CNN, and totally didn't believe that Obama goes skeet-shooting, as he told...

Daily Caller Writer Was Just Asking Responsible Questions About Hillary Clinton Faking It

Jim Treacher, who periodically writes incredibly stupid shit at the Daily Caller Media Foundation Trademark, is now demanding the real birth certificate for Hillary Clinton's concussion or something, and DEMANDS RESPECT FOR HIS CRUSADE. A few weeks ago, when Hillary’s...

Obama Lies About How Much He Liked Daniel Inouye Because Whatever

President Obama delivered a eulogy at the funeral services for recently deceased Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye, but OBVIOUSLY LIED AND EXAGGERATED ALL HIS TIES TO INOUYE because, as National Review writer Patrick Brennan points out, Inouye is basically nowhere...

Ol’ Rush Limbaugh Pretty Sure Obama Behind Tampa’s Republican Convention Hurricane

Yargle bargle floop, word word word. LIMBAUGH: So we got a hurricane coming. The National Hurricane Center, which is a government agency, is very hopeful that the hurricane gets near Tampa. The National Hurricane Center is Obama. It’s the...