conspiracies

Some days the Wonkette tipline brings in an abundance of pure batshit craziness, but seldom does quite such a large helping of it arrive in a single dose like the incredibly long email we received over the weekend from self-appointed Clinton inquisitor Robert Morrow of Austin, Texas. Mr. Morrow, who has been at this lonely […]

Let’s say you are Michigan nerd-governor Rick Snyder’s chief information officer David Behen and let’s say you had a fun idea for a school voucher policy. How would you go about making your special plan a reality? Would you go through normal channels to make policy in the transparent process that we’ve become accustomed to in these […]

This might be the first time ever that right-wingers accused a black man of not having a gun. OB (Original Birther) Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) appeared Monday night on CNN, and totally didn’t believe that Obama goes skeet-shooting, as he told the New Republic. “If he is a skeet-shooter, why have we not heard of this? […]

Jim Treacher, who periodically writes incredibly stupid shit at the Daily Caller Media Foundation Trademark, is now demanding the real birth certificate for Hillary Clinton’s concussion or something, and DEMANDS RESPECT FOR HIS CRUSADE. A few weeks ago, when Hillary’s people said she wouldn’t be testifying about Benghazi because she’d fallen down and hit her […]

President Obama delivered a eulogy at the funeral services for recently deceased Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye, but OBVIOUSLY LIED AND EXAGGERATED ALL HIS TIES TO INOUYE because, as National Review writer Patrick Brennan points out, Inouye is basically nowhere to be found in the Bill Ayers’s best-seller Dreams From My Father: The Rise of Comrade […]

Yargle bargle floop, word word word. LIMBAUGH: So we got a hurricane coming. The National Hurricane Center, which is a government agency, is very hopeful that the hurricane gets near Tampa. The National Hurricane Center is Obama. It’s the National Weather Service, part of the commerce department. It’s Obama.

Now here’s a case, maybe the only case, for raising taxes that could appeal to Bold Conservatives, straight from Judge Tom Head of Lubbock County, Texas: If that there Obamer fella were to win reelection, God Almighty forbid, and hand over American sovereignty to the United Nations, there’d be such righteous civil unrest in the […]

Good news, people of Tennessee: we get to discuss your state legislature again this morning! Oh, put away your groans. This guy you’ve got, state Rep. Kelly Keisling, had such a smart insight into the future of American politics that he took the liberty of emailing it to his constituents. How’s the rest of 2012 […]

It’s that time of year again, when the Global Illuminati Powerful Rich Folk gather in secret, to hide their secrets and drink dragon blood and eat gold cookies at the Bilderberg Conference. It is a very closed affair and no one in the mainstream media covers it, because everyone in the media is a pussy. […]

You guys, we are starting to worry about the Mitt Romney campaign. They seem to be getting a little paranoid, like they’ve maybe read one too many email forwards from Glenn Beck. The event was a double-secret press conference at the solar energy company Solyndra — “double-secret,” obviously, because if the President’s vast army of […]

Uh oh you guys. A forensic technician for the Los Angeles coroner died and it might have been poison. And he may or may not have personally worked on Andrew Breitbart’s corpse. And it was the same day good ol’ Sheriff Joe “announced probable cause for forgery in President Obama’s birth certificate.” And this is […]

Best and smartest US Senator by universal acclamation James Inhofe has laideth down some Science on thee during an interview with (who else?) the Voice of Christian Youth America radio show “Crosstalk.” Spaketh Inhofe, while evangelizing his new “book,” The Greatest Hoax: How the Global Warming Conspiracy Threatens Your Future, “Well actually the Genesis 8:22 […]

Here’s a novel theory from the terminally paranoid crackpot head ogre at the NRA: President Obama’s refusal to steal all of their guns is really just his massive conspiracy to steal all their guns. This is how it works: Obama lulls all of the gun owners into a perilous sense of security by never proposing […]

America is still recovering from that disgusting Hurricane Irene that came to town last weekend, which means that hurricane victims around the East Coast are still without electricity and, as a result, access to basic necessities, like Internet porn! This is the case in Vermont, “where flooding has cut off a dozen towns from the […]

Famous birther drag queen Orly Taitz is so frustrated right now, because no one will listen to her important ideas about Barack Obama’s fake social security number. She can’t even get justice in the court, probably because everyone there is a secret Kenyan with a fake social security number, too. Oh and also because she […]