At this point everybody knows about how Sarah Palin griped at some GOP dinner last week about how there was nobody to pray with before the vice presidential debate besides her speech coach/daughter, Piper. And Jesus. Naturally, McCain aides who suffered by her side for months, TWO WHOLE MONTHS, are furious at the suggestion that they weren’t into all that religious bullshit. MORE »

Oh yeah here is that clip you have already seen a million times, probably. It features RNC death-bomb Michael Steele talking about how Rush Limbaugh fell for Steele’s cagey ploy of saying retardimanated things to expose who his real friends are (hint: not Rush Limbaugh). [via TPM]

Everybody was so excited when what’s his name, Atlantic child wonder Ross Douthat, got Bill Kristol’s spot in the New York Times. We’re still kind of angry about the NYT taking away one of our easiest weekly comedy bits, so no hurrahs from your Wonkette. Also, this Ross Douthat does seem to be that most common of things, a conservative asshole! Let’s take a look at his book, Privilege, and a very unsexy scene on page 184. MORE »

Aww, Michelle Obama went to help out at a soup kitchen for homeless people on Thursday! And while she was there, the AP took a photo of this guy taking a cellphone photo of Michelle’s very famous arms. So now America’s conservative pundits are very upset that this supposedly homeless man has a telephone, so poverty isn’t actually a problem, and we’re even “blessed” to have such rich homeless people in the United States. MORE »

A ha ha ha, we had to do a Google search to make sure nobody had put that crack in a headline yet. So anyway yes, Michael Steele spoke ill of Rush Limbaugh on late-night television, and then Rush Limbaugh said mean things about Michael Steele on the radio, and then Steele had to apologize because Rush Limbaugh makes a gazillion dollars a year putting cigars in his face and pontificating on the radio whereas Michael Steele is just some loser from Maryland. MORE »

Here’s celebrated pundit Tucker Carlson addressing CPAC, fresh after scoring some coke from his dealer under the St. Alban’s lacrosse field bleachers. He tries to convince the stingy crowd that the New York Times, for all its faults, still strives for accuracy and tries to break the major, important stories. He is roundly booed, heckled, bludgeoned, etc. He makes up for it at the end by suggesting that there should be 25 different Fox News channels, thereby ensuring his secure exit from the building. [Right Wing Watch]

We met our Boston buddy Garrett Quinn at the Republican convention in St. Paul last summer — he was a Ron Paul delegate, for reals! But politics could not get in the way of our mutual love of Guinness and Jameson, which is why young master Quinn is covering CPAC for your Wonkette! We’ve just thrown together this first post from a bunch of amusing emails he’s sending from the proceedings, as we try to figure out how to get pictures from his fucked-up Blackberry to Newell’s fucked-up Blackberry. The Future! MORE »

This is an actual panel, being held today, at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference. There are no words. [CPAC 2009]

Ronald Reagan is still alive and breathing and administrating, if nowhere but in the minds of desperate conservatives. Even young conservatives have Reagan Creationism Syndrome, and will be exhibiting the symptoms of it en masse at Reaganpalooza, a celebration of the “the man, the legend” at the Hawk and Dove on Saturday, February 28th. MORE »

THE FULL LIST OF THE BEST CONSERVATIVE MOVIES OF THE LAST 25 YEARS: We’re giving up on writing about the rest of the National Review’s entries to “The Best Conservative Movies of the Last 25 Years,” because enough with them right? We covered through #8, and The Corner has posted entries through #6. They force people who wish to see the rest of the list immediately (for hilarity) to buy a subscription to their wacky magazine. Well, enough with their useless games: here’s the full list, according to some heroic blogger. Be sure to check it out before he gets his cease-and-desist letter from NR’s attorney, Joe the Plumber. [The Same Dame]

Kathleen Parker is one of the many conservative columnists who was run out of Crazy Town by wrathful yokels brandishing pitchforks and shouting “NOBAMA” when she dared venture the opinion that Barack Obama was a smart man while John McCain had sold his withered “soul” to the toothless wingnut contingent of the Republican party. Parker appears to be coming back around, though. MORE »