Tag: connecticut

We're actually cool with kitten pride, though

Awesome Judge Candidate Does Not Get Why You Guys Are So Worried About Her Hubby The White Supremacist

Elections are tricky things, what with people poking into your background and all that, so it usually behooves aspiring politicians to think about what might play badly as they begin their elective office quest. Now, running for some pissant...

Are Your Teens Sullen? Time To Sue Their ‘Death Cult’ Teachers For Magical Realism Assignment!

Bad enough that Our Public Schools are full of secular humanists and evolution and even socialist fruits and vegetables -- now the teachers are recruiting students into weird death cults! A family from Avon, Connecticut, an affluent suburb of...

Old Handsome Joe Biden Can’t Take Teen To Prom, Sends Corsage And Undersecretary Of Commerce Instead

Talia Maselli of Newington, Connecticut, is officially Yr. Wonkette's favorite teen of the day, because of her excellent taste in men. Last fall, she sent a prom invitation to her ideal date: Old Handsome Joe Biden. Smart girl, thinks...

Texas Lt Gov Candidate Rejects Secession. Instead, Let’s Kick Out All The Liberal States.

You have to admire the creative thinking of Texas candidate for Lieutenant Governor Jerry Patterson. He doesn't want Texas to secede from the United States; that'd be dumb. He loves Real America. Instead, how about we get rid of...

Responsible Gun Owners On Parade

We started the morning with the tale of responsible gun owner Shemane Nugent, who accidentally forgot that there was a handgun in her carry on luggage; now, even more brilliance from the responsible gun owners of America. How about...

Typical Connecticut Parking Lot Brawl Between Octogenarian Dems And Young Whippersnapper Results From Board Of Ed Race, Just Like You’d Expect

Well here is a fine how-do-ye-do, and it involves a couple in their 80s; an email about any possible openings on the Norwalk, Connecticut, board of ed; a 38-year-old "belligerent" head of the local Democratic party wrapping her fist...

Celebrate Independence Day By Shooting Off Your Gun: A July 4th Gun Fun Times Roundup

Guten Tag, liberal Wonkstaffel! With the upcoming holiday when all good God-fearing Americans celebrate the founding of the Greatest Nation in the History of Ever™, we thought it a good opportunity to check up on the continued efforts to...

In Which We Are Irrationally Hopeful That Not Everyone Is a Total Idiot About Gun Control

With the way so many of our politicians cower in terror every time they spot Wayne LaPierre rushing in their direction, his crazy eyes rolling in their sockets like the googly-eyed panda magnet on our refrigerator, we have thought...

Stupidest Man On Internet Proclaims Only Armed Guard Could Have Stopped Newtown If They Were In Exactly Right Spot And Lanza Didn’t Shoot Them...

Stupidest Man On the Internet Jim Hoft has perpetrated more blogging about the Sandy Hook massacre. As usual, he also performs multiple acts of vandalism on facts and logic. Today's flaming bag of dogshit on the internet's...

What Do You Mean Connecticut’s ‘Women’s Day’ Isn’t About Boobs?

Yesterday was Connecticut's "Women's Day at the Capitol," an annual get-together in which entire office buildings are full of women. This is a great thing to do — it's an exciting day of discussion and learning, sure, but who...

Connecticut State Rep. Makes Peener Joke To Teen Girl Who Mentioned Snakes

Well, golly, it's been at least a day or so since we've reported on some elected asshat saying something reprehensible in public, so obviously we're overdue. This time around, the idiot is Connecticut Rep. Ernest Hewitt (D-OhForFuckssake), who last...

Today We Are All This Lady Brandishing A Semi At Chuck E. Cheese

Let those without sin cast the first bullet, but who hasn't wanted to brandish a firearm at a Chuck E. Cheese? Only those who have never had to be there, surely. But the big problem is, there is a...

Friday Nice-Time: A Love Letter to Rosa DeLauro

Yr Wonkette is ashamed to admit that we were hitherto unaware of the awesomeness of Representative Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn) before seeing the picture above. We are ashamed! Like rending garments levels of ashamed, because this woman is pretty much...

National Review: Give Your Kids Boundaries, Like ‘No, You May Not Shoot Up A School’

Oh, everybody was sooooo outraged when Megan McArdle took to the pixels of the Daily Beast to suggest that since only banning all guns would be effective in stopping gun violence, and we can't ban all guns, we should...

Internet Welcomes New Stupidest Man

Sorry, "Gateway Pundit" Jim Hoft, you have lost your crown and all your glory. All you need to read in this most brilliant piece from new Stupidest Man on the Internet "ProteinWisdom" (Jeff Goldstein) is the headline: "Obama, silent about...

Here Is Barack Obama Politicizing Guns By Saying The Word ‘Guns’

Here, courtesy of DailyKos, is President Barack Obama almost able (not really) to get through his statement on the massacre in Newtown, Connecticut. Surprisingly, no reporters in the White House briefing room shouted a dick question at him as...