connecticut
New York, come on down! Pennsylvania! Connecticut! Rhode Island! DELAWARE! Politico says Scientology founder L. Newton Hubbard has a chance to win in Delaware, but mostly the article is like haha madeyalook! Newt is done. Roasted. On a spit with an apple. Make sure to turn him evenly, to give the skin that lovely crackle. [...]
Fun Connecticut lady Lee Whitnum appears to be a fixture in pretty much every “Nutmeg State” Democratic primary for any national office. She gets up there and starts hollering about a valid concern — how every Connecticut Democrat, as well as every other politician, just does whatever Israel wants 100% of the time — with [...]
Four East Haven, Connecticut police officers were recently arrested by the FBI for unlawful abuse and search of some of the city’s Latino residents, but Mayor Joe Maturo’s immediate response to the arrests was so heinous as to suggest that maybe the officers had been told to be racist and abusive by a racist and [...]
Tragedy last week: Death-machine makers are losing one of their “friends with benefits,” insufferable phlegmy Senate goblin Joe Lieberman. Making matters worse, the voters of Connecticut have also gotten rid of Chris Dodd, for being terrible. “With both of the state’s senators departing Congress, companies like United Technologies will have to scramble to shore up [...]
Senator Joe Lieberman says he hasn’t made a decision about seeking re-election in 2012, but he sounds like he might be leaning toward running. During the taping of an interview for this week’s “Face the State with Dennis House,” I asked the 4 term independent if he thinks he could win re-election. The answer: “yes,” [...]
In other “November is our N word” election news: CEO of fake wrestling/Linda McMahon’s husband “Mr. McMahon” filed a very serious lawsuit, because he was worried that teenagers wearing WWE spandex thongs wouldn’t be allowed to vote — you know, since people dressed like idiots might be considered “political advertising” for Linda McMahon. Anyway, Vince [...]
A couple of sketchy Connecticut politicians battled by cue cards last night, in hopes of winning an all-expenses-paid six-year vacation with Joe Lieberman. Who were our lucky contestants? There’s Attorney “Four Star” General Richard Blumenthal, who previously got in a bit of trouble for claiming to be Vietnam, which is a blatant exaggeration. And then [...]
Can you feel the pulsing excitement? It is a primary night, one of only sixty or so Primary Tuesdays this year, so far. Anderson Cooper has a special report on the Jet Blue flight attendant who just HAD IT with his job/people/etc., and Fox News has Bill O’Reilly talking about, uh, Rudy Giuliani? With some [...]
Coming to you live from Thugtown USA—i.e. “Obama’s backyard,” or Chicagotown, where there are no races or post-racial relations at the polls to watch today. So let’s watch everybody else’s races! At this moment we are still awaiting the results of the Georgia gubernatorial primary runoff starring Republicans Nathan “the Real Deal” Deal and Karen [...]
Things are fucking HOT AS HELL in tonight’s primaries, if you can imagine what a sexy Georgia looks like. Though we called the race for Nathan Deal because his supporters set up a kiddie pool of grits, the GOP gubernatorial primary results in the Annoying-Peach-Pit State remain close. In Connecticut, Linda McMahon is rasslin’ her [...]
There are important elections. And then there are MICHELE BACHMANN elections. Tonight we journey to Minnesota, Connecticut, Colorado, and Georgia: “Gee, I cut onto a mooing nostril accordance” is your prescient anagram of these states. What does it mean? We will soon find out. Polls have just closed in Connecticut, an hour after Georgia. Minnesota [...]
Important primaries are happening right now in Georgia, Connecticut, Minnesota and Colorado, which are states that have little in common except that their voting robots all decided today was the day to provide sham “primary elections” to their states’ non-lizard-people. Will human vanilla bean Sen. Michael Bennet be able to hold off his challenger Andrew [...]
Connecticut GOP Senate candidate Peter Schiff is trying to raise enough funds to educate the good people of the Nutmeg State about his primary opponent, wrestling lady Linda McMahon, and her out-of-control, crotch-kicking ways. This information could save thousands of Republican men from making unwanted trips to the testicle doctor.
