Everybody knows that the thrice-married, opera-loving Manhattan dandy Rudy Giuliani lived with a gay couple while in between wives. You’d think that was mean he was pretty OK with the hedonist homosexual gay lifestyle, but apparently you’d be wrong, because he had his secretary phone in his regrets two days before the wedding of his very good friends Howard Koeppel and Mark Hsiao. What a cock. [New York Post]

Once upon a time, Joe Lieberman nearly ruined Barack Obama’s career forever by going to the Republican National Convention and calling him a “young man” repeatedly while Obama was busy trying to win a campaign against an ancient War God and his evil, fecund snow mistress. Obama prevailed, of course, but since then everybody has hated Joe Lieberman’s guts even more than they used to. MORE »

Dead William F. Buckley Jr. has penned a RATHER RIBALD essay for Kathryn Jean Lopez’s National Review magazine about the year 1976, when the Buckley plutocrats invited the Reagan plutocrats to their 2,000-year-old chateau, “Great Elm,” in Connecticut colony, for the annual Thanksgiving bank holiday. Then! Drama! “…Ron Jr., in his first semester at Yale, had decided to quit college — more or less immediately. I expressed doubt that he was having academic problems, which indeed he was not, and his parents brought me to the heart of the matter. What moved him was a voracious desire to dance professionally.” Grandmother must never hear of this, she would be most dismayed! Later: “Ronald Reagan was as determined to subject his son to poverty as Ron Jr. was to live in it.” And that’s when dead W.F. Buckley knew that Ronald Reagan had fathered a Welfare Queen, the end. [National Review]

Time for everybody to stop hating Joe Lieberman, because he is not getting punished at all for calling the current president and majority party a bunch of fags every day for the past two years. According to Politico, “Sens. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.), Ken Salazar (D-Colo.), Tom Carper (D-Del.) and Bill Nelson (D-Fla.) are all involved in the effort” of telling other Senators to support clemency for Lieberman in next week’s caucus vote on stripping him from his Homeland Security chairmanship and/or other committee assignments. Well here is a Third Way: vote to send Lieberman to his precious Iraq and its War, as a private. No wait wait — Afghanistan. That one’s worse now isn’t it? Send him to that one. The Afghanistan War. Or Darfur. [Politico]

Everyone point and laugh at him now, for he has erred, my friends, and now the principal is tugging him by the ear into detention to try his War Crimes: “Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid will meet with Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman this afternoon to discuss the wayward Democrat’s future in light of his enthusiastic support of Republican Sen. John McCain’s presidential candidacy.” Unfortunately Harry Reid is the disciplinarian here, so somehow the meeting will end with Lieberman firing him. (Which is fine.) What really needs to happen, though, is for Barack Obama to beat the shit out of that rancid twatwaffle Lieberman on the Senate floor again. [WSJ]

Joe Lieberman has been so mad at Barack Obama this election because… because Barack Obama campaigned for him in 2006 and Joe Lieberman hates black people? Mmhmm! Joe Lieberman’s gayness for John McCain has led him to call Obama “dangerous,” a traitor who doesn’t care about his Country, and yet he still holds a committee chairmanship from the very Democrats he’s constantly smearing in Republican newspapers. (Interesting fact about Joe Lieberman: he’s 66 years old and has never had sex — seriously, this is on the Internet.) You all are well aware that Joe Lieberman is little more than an alien shit-bastard, so it shouldn’t surprise you that he’s now pretending to be nice to Obama and the liberals, who will soon own Earth. MORE »

Okay so it’s nine days old, but you must read this very delightful article about the effects of the financial crisis on Greenwich, Connecticut, a town where rich people live. There had been three types of people in Greenwich, organized into a clear heirarchy: rich hedge fund managers, rich investment bankers, and lastly, filthy serfs. Then! Wall Street crashed! And the new arrangement is thus: rich hedge fund managers, slightly less rich ex-investment bankers, and even filthier serfs. This is a disaster of world-historical magnitude and Hank Paulson needs to buy Greeenwich’s “middle class” new Ferraris to avoid SYSTEMIC GLOBAL FINANCIAL DEFAULT FAILURE. MORE »

• BUT HE’S STILL A VIRGIN: “WASHINGTON - Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, the Democratic Party’s vice presidential candidate in 2000 and now an independent who is one of John McCain’s strongest supporters, will speak at the Republican National Convention, an official said.” But of course! He will probably be vice president or something. Anyway, your associate editor has been wanting to start a “Joe Lieberman is a virgin” rumor/meme for a few months now, so help out where you can hmm? Smear e-mails, comment boards, etc. [AP]

Yesterday Joe Lieberman addressed Christians United For Israel, the dumb thing headed by Pastor John Hagee, Lieberman’s best friend. Hagee used to be John McCain’s best friend, and they spent many a evening talking about how Hitler was a messenger of God, the message being “European Jews, what an oxymoron!” Joe Lieberman introduced himself to the creepy group with this appropriately creepy message: “I am your brother Joseph.” Then: “I don’t agree with everything Pastor Hagee has said… I will tell you tonight the bond that I feel with Pastor Hagee and each and every one of you is much stronger than that and I am proud to stand with you tonight.” Ha ha, Connecticut voters. [NYT/The Caucus]

Attention spendy Republicans: for just $1000 you can hang out with President Bush at the Connecticut home of evil old war criminal Henry Kissinger next weekend. And for an extra $10,000, you can even get your picture taken with the proud alcoholic bunny-humper who currently runs our nation. MORE »

According to the Stamford Advocate, an FBI investigation has concluded that the notorious crash of Joe2006.com, Joe Lieberman’s glorious Web site, the day before his August 2006 primary loss to actual Democrat Ned Lamont was caused by Joe Lieberman’s campaign. When will Joe Lieberman apologize to Joe Lieberman for these dirty tricks? MORE »