connecticut
In Which We Are Irrationally Hopeful That Not Everyone Is a Total Idiot About Gun Control
With the way so many of our politicians cower in terror every time they spot Wayne LaPierre rushing in their direction, his crazy eyes rolling in their sockets like the googly-eyed panda magnet on our refrigerator, we have thought we might break out the Dance of Joy if just one politician would tell him to go [...]
Stupidest Man On Internet Proclaims Only Armed Guard Could Have Stopped Newtown If They Were In Exactly Right Spot And Lanza Didn’t Shoot Them First
Stupidest Man On the Internet Jim Hoft has perpetrated more blogging about the Sandy Hook massacre. As usual, he also performs multiple acts of vandalism on facts and logic. Today’s flaming bag of dogshit on the internet’s porch contains one (1) factual error and one (1) wholly specious conclusion. We shall resist the urge to [...]
What Do You Mean Connecticut’s ‘Women’s Day’ Isn’t About Boobs?
Yesterday was Connecticut’s “Women’s Day at the Capitol,” an annual get-together in which entire office buildings are full of women. This is a great thing to do — it’s an exciting day of discussion and learning, sure, but who really cares about that? It’s great because — did you know? — all those women… have [...]
Connecticut State Rep. Makes Peener Joke To Teen Girl Who Mentioned Snakes
Well, golly, it’s been at least a day or so since we’ve reported on some elected asshat saying something reprehensible in public, so obviously we’re overdue. This time around, the idiot is Connecticut Rep. Ernest Hewitt (D-OhForFuckssake), who last week decided that a dick joke would make for a perfect reply to a 17 year [...]
Today We Are All This Lady Brandishing A Semi At Chuck E. Cheese
Let those without sin cast the first bullet, but who hasn’t wanted to brandish a firearm at a Chuck E. Cheese? Only those who have never had to be there, surely. But the big problem is, there is a difference between wanting to and doing so – and that’s exactly how a lady in Connecticut [...]
Friday Nice-Time: A Love Letter to Rosa DeLauro
Yr Wonkette is ashamed to admit that we were hitherto unaware of the awesomeness of Representative Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn) before seeing the picture above. We are ashamed! Like rending garments levels of ashamed, because this woman is pretty much the coolest thing ever, despite RollCall’s sober cuntiness, as seen above. We are especially ashamed because [...]
National Review: Give Your Kids Boundaries, Like ‘No, You May Not Shoot Up A School’
Oh, everybody was sooooo outraged when Megan McArdle took to the pixels of the Daily Beast to suggest that since only banning all guns would be effective in stopping gun violence, and we can’t ban all guns, we should train our children to “gang-rush” men who are shooting at them with semi-automatic weapons, “Let’s roll!”-styley. [...]
Today Perhaps Not Greatest Day For Rand Paul’s Hilarious Gun-Waiting-Period ‘Joke’
Kentucky Senator Rand Paul has some ideas. And they are that if Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is going to be such a total Hitler as to suggest that a senator who wants to filibuster something has to actually filibuster that thing, then Rand Paul would like some Senate “rule changes” of his own! First [...]
Classy Wrasslin’ Two-Time-Loser Lady Linda McMahon Stiffs Staff, Invites It To Screw Itself
Hmmm, it looks like your Wonkette didn’t bother to write even the littlest thing about two-time-Senate-loser and Wrasslin’ Lady Linda McMahon this time around, probably because we had used up all our folding-chair jokes the first time around, and also probably because we didn’t care. But in fact, it is AFTER her (second) loss that [...]
Completely Heterosexual Alleged Sex Offender Is A Good Scouting Role Model
It is an intractable and inviolable part of the Boy Scouting Code (which is in Comic Sans on someone’s old Compaq) that gays and lesbians cannot serve in any Scouting capacity, because they will convince small children that it’s okay to watch Bravo more than they already do. However, Robert White of Milford, Connecticut, was [...]
Hero Connecticut Supreme Court Justices Defend Rapists From Clutches of Temptresses With Cerebral Palsy
Here, Wonketteers, let us blog at you about a very, very sad story made EVEN SADDER by the geniuses serving on the Connecticut State Supreme Court. See, back in 2008, a man from Bridgeport, Connecticut, was found guilty of sexually assaulting a 26-year old woman with cerebral palsy who can’t speak and has very little [...]
Hello Beggars, Here Is Your Newt’s Last Chance Liveblog
New York, come on down! Pennsylvania! Connecticut! Rhode Island! DELAWARE! Politico says Scientology founder L. Newton Hubbard has a chance to win in Delaware, but mostly the article is like haha madeyalook! Newt is done. Roasted. On a spit with an apple. Make sure to turn him evenly, to give the skin that lovely crackle. [...]
Comical Connecticut Senate Candidate Cries ‘Whore’ During Debate
Fun Connecticut lady Lee Whitnum appears to be a fixture in pretty much every “Nutmeg State” Democratic primary for any national office. She gets up there and starts hollering about a valid concern — how every Connecticut Democrat, as well as every other politician, just does whatever Israel wants 100% of the time — with [...]
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