Tag Archives: congressional catfight

 

Wonkette’s Week in Review

* This is how the world will end, not with a bang, but a clank, and the thump of a pneumatic hammer on an elevator. We’re relieved that no one was hurt, but it sure was exciting covering all the action. Er, whatever it is that passes for action. In the end, the biggest danger of the day was the risk of some soiled gabardine, but even that was averted. Read more on Wonkette’s Week in Review…
 

Congressional Catfight: Congratulations to Jean Schmidt!

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached the end of the road in Congressional Catfight. The competition began two weeks ago, with eight tough contenders, who were later joined by five wild card entries. All in all, 13 fierce fighters. Only one could emerge victorious. Read more on Congressional Catfight: Congratulations to Jean Schmidt!…
 

Congressional Catfight: An Amusing Endorsement

We’re about to close the polls in Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Schmidt, and it’s looking like curtains for Katherine. “Mean Jean” has a sizable lead at this late hour. For your reading pleasure — and not to influence the vote, which is pretty much over — we direct your attention to this well-researched and humorous endorsement of Katy. Nasty, Brutish & Short, a regular commenter in these pages, parses the term “catfight,” then evaluates the fighters through the prism of “Dynasty.” He concludes that he must vote for Harris (despite being a fan of Schmidt too). Here’s an excerpt: Read more on Congressional Catfight: An Amusing Endorsement…
 

Congressional Catfight: Checking In on the Ladies

The polls are now open in the final round of Congressional Catfight: Katherine Harris versus Jean Schmidt. You can cast your vote by clicking here. How are things looking thus far? Not good for Katy, whose nicely toned butt is getting kicked by “Mean Jean.” Right now, with over 2,200 votes cast, Schmidt has almost two-thirds of the vote. Sentiment among the commenters also favors Schmidt heavily. Read more on Congressional Catfight: Checking In on the Ladies…
 

Congressional Catfight, Final Round: Harris vs. Schmidt

All good things must come to an end — and that includes Congressional Catfight. We’ve milked this competition for all it’s worth, and now it’s time to crown a victor. The last two warriors left standing are worthy adversaries. Katherine Harris (on left) emerged victorious from a tournament featuring eight fearsome challengers. Jean Schmidt (on right) defeated four wild-card contenders to win the right to take on Harris. Read more on Congressional Catfight, Final Round: Harris vs. Schmidt…
 

Congressional Catfight: Jean Schmidt Takes the Wild Card Spot

Well, that was easy. We’ve had some really close calls here at Congressional Catfight, including one race that required a runoff. But this latest Catfight — a battle royal between five fighters, to determine who would take the wild card slot and face Katherine Harris — resulted in a decisive victory. We threw five worthy contenders into the ring: Corrine Brown (D-FL), the “bat shit crazy” rep from the mean streets of Jacksonville’s North Side; Barbara Cubin (R-WY), the ex-cheerleader known for her “wack paranoia” and penis-shaped cookies; Tom Tancredo (R-CO), the immigration-obsessed nutjob; Bernie Sanders (I-VT), everyone’s favorite Vermont socialist; and Jean Schmidt (R-OH), the firearms-carrying, flag-jumpsuit-wearing, coward-calling congresswoman better known as “Mean Jean.” The result? Jean Schmidt, in a landslide. “Mean Jean” received 60 percent of the vote — more votes than the other four competitors combined, and over three times as many as her nearest competitor, Tom Tancredo. Schmidt has scratched and clawed her way into the final round of Congressional Catfight. (For those of you who are curious, the full vote tally is available after the jump.) Check back later today, when we’ll open the polls in Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Schmidt. We’re predicting a close and ugly battle between these two tough ladies of the House. Earlier: Congressional Catfight: The Nominees for the Wild Card Spot Read more on Congressional Catfight: Jean Schmidt Takes the Wild Card Spot…
 

Congressional Catfight: Harris Defeats Pelosi

For those of you who are dying to learn the winner of Congressional Catfight — or who are tiring of the whole thing — worry not. The competition is nearing its end, and we’re now just one round away from crowning a winner. Read more on Congressional Catfight: Harris Defeats Pelosi…
 

Congressional Catfight: The Nominees for the Wild Card Spot

Last week, we solicited your nominations for a wild card contender, to take take on the winner of Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Pelosi (polls closing soon; to vote, click here). You submitted lots of excellent nominations, by email and by comment, and we winnowed the field to five contenders. Here’s the poll: Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser. You may already know which one of these folks you’d like to vote for. But if you’re undecided and in need of more information, excerpts from nomination squibs appear after the jump. Read more on Congressional Catfight: The Nominees for the Wild Card Spot…
 

Wonkette’s Week in Review: Bitch Slaps and Wiretaps

* The Senate confirmation hearings for soon-to-be CIA Director Michael Hayden began this week. In the great tradition of the adult film industry, there will be two versions of the hearing; one for cable and one for pay-per-view, er, Senate Members’ Ears Only. We were actually pretty relieved that the hardcore hearings were closed, that shit was long enough. Finally, the denouement: he’s an idiot. Read more on Wonkette’s Week in Review: Bitch Slaps and Wiretaps…
 

Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Pelosi

This was going to be the final round of Congressional Catfight, until we acceded to your pleas and agreed to throw a wild card into the mix. But it’s still a very important battle — an essential stop on the road to victory. Read more on Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Pelosi…
 

Congressional Catfight: A Wild Card Spot

Some of you have complained that we overlooked some worthy candidates when selecting our eight competitors for Congressional Catfight. Of course, given that there were only eight slots in the tournament — and hundreds of crazy, bitchy people in the House — omissions were inevitable. Here are the eight original Catfight competitors. Top row, left to right: Jo Ann Emerson (R-MO); Katherine Harris (R-FL); Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX); Virginia Foxx (R-NC). Bottom row, left to right: Cynthia McKinney (D-GA); Nancy Pelosi (D-CA); Barney Frank (D-MA); David Dreier (R-CA). But we do feel badly about not being more inclusive. So here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to allow you to nominate representatives that you feel were unfairly omitted from the competition. Then we’ll have a poll, and the nominee with the most votes will face the winner of Katherine Harris versus Nancy Pelosi. You can make a nomination by adding a comment to this post or by emailing us (subject line: “Catfight Wild Card”). Please include the nominee’s name and a brief explanation of why she belongs in the competition. Please note that the contest is limited to current members of the House of Representatives — no past House members, no Senators, no staffers or spouses, etc. We’ll take a handful of your best nominees and have a reader poll in which you’ll vote on who should take on the winner of Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Pelosi. We look forward to your submissions. Thanks! (For those of you who haven’t been following the competition closely, the tournament history appears after the jump.) Read more on Congressional Catfight: A Wild Card Spot…
 

Congressional Catfight: Harris Defeats Frank (Finally)

After some voting irregularities in our Congressional Catfight between Katherine Harris and Barney Frank, we decided to hold a rematch. We put two polls before you, indicating that the competitor with the highest combined vote total for both polls would move into the final round. Read more on Congressional Catfight: Harris Defeats Frank (Finally)…
 

Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Frank, the Rematch

As we head into Wednesday night, our Congressional Catfight rematch between Katherine Harris and Barney Frank is proceeding forward smoothly. Hopefully tomorrow’s results will not be marred by irregularities. In the first poll, asking who’s better dressed, Harris currently holds a narrow lead. Harris has 51.2 percent of the vote, while Frank has 48.8 percent. Read more on Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Frank, the Rematch…
 

Congressional Catfight: What the Fuck Is Going On?

This is really, really weird — highly irregular, one might say. We honestly have no clue as to how this happened. This morning, we posted the results of our latest Congressional Catfight, between Katherine Harris and Barney Frank. We declared Frank the winner, with 1,415 votes to Harris’s 1,414 votes. Those of you who read our original post saw a graphic reflecting such a result. Read more on Congressional Catfight: What the Fuck Is Going On?…
 

Congressional Catfight: Dewey Defeats Truman

Actually, no. But considering how close our latest race was, confusion over the winner would be understandable. We couldn’t write the headline for the post until after closing the polls — which we had to attempt multiple times, since the first few times we tried, our fighters were tied. Read more on Congressional Catfight: Dewey Defeats Truman…
 

Congressional Catfight: An Update on Harris vs. Frank

The Congressional Catfight races get closer and closer. Since the polls opened earlier this afternoon, the margin has never widened beyond 52-48, with Katherine Harris and Barney Frank trading the lead back and forth. At several points over the past few hours, the vote has been exactly tied. Right now, Frank leads Harris by 18 votes, out of almost 2000 cast. Read more on Congressional Catfight: An Update on Harris vs. Frank…
 

Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Frank

Although their political views couldn’t be more divergent, Rep. Katherine Harris (left) and Rep. Barney Frank (right) share some similarities on a personal level. Both are over-the-top, larger-than-life figures — two of the most colorful characters in the House. Both have mannish, drag-queen-esque tendencies. And both have a weakness for cute young boys. And today they’re both fighting for the same thing: a berth in the finals of Congressional Catfight. Here’s the poll: Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser. This is a huge race, and the winner will move into the final round, to take on Nancy “Crazy-Eyes” Pelosi. So please vote, early and often (and tell all your friends, too). After the jump, for true Catfight devotees, the full tournament bracket, plus links to our prior coverage of both competitors. Update: In response to the question raised in the comments: No, Harris is not packing heat for purposes of this competition. This is a traditional, old-fashioned catfight. It’s okay to scratch your opponent’s eyes out with your fingernails, but outside weapons are not allowed. So Katy can’t bring a gun into the fight, just as Barney must leave the ten-inch dildo at home. Read more on Congressional Catfight: Harris vs. Frank…
 

Congressional Catfight: Pelosi Defeats Jackson-Lee

The latest Congressional Catfight, between Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, was thisclose. It really could not have been closer: the winner had 50.1 percent of the votes, and the loser had 49.9 percent of the votes. Read more on Congressional Catfight: Pelosi Defeats Jackson-Lee…
 

Congressional Catfight: Headed for a Photo Finish

Earlier today, we opened the polls in Congressional Catfight: Jackson-Lee vs. Pelosi. As we head into the evening, the race is super-close: Pelosi narrowly leads Jackson-Lee, 52 percent to 48 percent. Read more on Congressional Catfight: Headed for a Photo Finish…
 

Congressional Catfight: Jackson-Lee vs. Pelosi

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (at left) and Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee (at right) share a lot in common. Both women are longtime members of the House. Both are outspoken, opinionated, and tough. And both scored victories in the opening round of Congressional Catfight. Pelosi pulled off an upset of top seed Cynthia McKinney, while Jackson-Lee dispatched Virginia Foxx with ease. Now Pelosi and Jackson-Lee move into the semifinal round, fighting for the right to take on the winner of Katherine Harris versus Barney Frank. Here’s the match-up: Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser. The polls will stay open until tomorrow morning. So vote away! We guarantee results more reliable than Diebold. For those of you who are really into the competition, you can see the current state of the tournament bracket after the jump. Read more on Congressional Catfight: Jackson-Lee vs. Pelosi…
 

Congressional Catfight: Frank Defeats Dreier

Who says Democrats can’t win? In the latest Congressional Catfight, Barney Frank pounded poor David Dreier’s brains out, making him cry out in pain. Frank rode Dreier hard, then put him away wet. Here’s the scorecard: Read more on Congressional Catfight: Frank Defeats Dreier…
 

Wonkette’s Week in Review: No Standing Eight Count

* The week started off with a double shot of intelligence stories to get us all hot and bothered. Did we say hot? We meant super-hot. * Sometimes they pop and sometimes they sizzle. Read more on Wonkette’s Week in Review: No Standing Eight Count…