congress

How’s about a round of applause for Arizona state Sen. Steve Gallardo, who was moved by the recent excitement over the state’s discrimination-is-awesome bill to come out as gay today. “I am gay, I am Latino and I’m a state senator,” Gallardo said, explaining that the fight over SB 1062 had been a “game-changer” in […]

Rep. Dave Camp (R-Mich.) has proposed a tax reform plan that, on its face, is not an insult to math and human decency. Therefore he gets a simple (R-Mich.) next to his name here instead of the usual (R-dickflicker) thing we do because he is acting like a grown-up legislator statesman instead of a cruel […]

If Congress signs off on the Pentagon’s latest plans, the US Army will be smaller than it’s been since before your grandpa fought at the Battle of the Bulge, Iwo Jima, Pearl Harbor, D-Day, X-Men, and Cracker Barrel, yer Gramma got a coupon. This might look like a “cut” in the sense that something is […]

From the beautiful state of Nevada, we bring you the imaginative linguistic stylings of congressional candidate Cresent Hardy, a member of the state Assembly who would very much like to replace first-term Democrat Steven Horsford in the 4th District. On Tuesday, Hardy gave an interview to the Las Vegas Sun in which he shared some […]

Bad news for anyone who was looking forward to another stupid debt ceiling standoff: popular television personality and Speaker of the Whole House John Boehner says he will hold a House vote tomorrow to raise the borrowing limit of the United States, which he expects will pass only with a big assist from Democrats: House […]

Well, that might have been the fastest congressional candidacy in the West. A day (? yeah, probably a day) after filing for the Democratic Party’s endorsement to succeed Henry Waxman in his West LA seat, Sandra Fluke is all like nah mang, gonna run for state Senate instead because I just remembered that I am […]

Hey ladies. How you doing? With your uncontrolled libidos, we bet you are slutting it up all over the place, so thank the Spirit in the Sky that you can get free government slut pills so you can be as slutty as you wanna be! But maybe you whoring whoremonsters need some representation at the […]

Well, nuts, this is a genuine, bona fide Moment of Sad: after 20 terms in the House of Representatives, liberal healthcare superhero Henry Waxman and his unfortunate teeth announced today that he’ll be retiring at the end of his current term. In honor of his impressive cranium, may we suggest that the renovations of the […]

From excessive drinking to being high pretty much all the time to a wardrobe consisting of only pajamas, blogging college sure is a rockin good time. And, it helps you get a job that pays money, which enables you to buy progressively better whiskey, hoping for that one magical day when you can afford the […]

Hey, kids, it’s January (really, we checked the Google), so you know what that means, right? Time for Republicans to make their annual attempt to pass a “No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion” bill. But wait, you are saying to yourself, isn’t taxpayer funding for abortion already prohibited? Yes, you are correct, and it has been […]

Have you met Dick Black? He is a state Senator in Virginia, and he is running for Congress in Loudon County, and he calls emergency birth control “baby pesticide,” which, we are pretty mad we didn’t think of that first, because “baby pesticide” is awesome. He has a few other awesome thoughts floating around that […]

Hold on to your hats, gentlemen, and clutch your pearls, ladies, because House and Senate negotiators have come up with a … wait for it… COMPROMISE! After you pick you jaws up from the floor, we shall dig through all the nooks and crannies of this funding agreement, forged deep in the depths of Mt. […]

We feel like we’ve been a bit remiss in sharing the good news about Representative Jack Kingston, one of the Georgia-bred shining stars of the U.S. Congress. Sure, we touched on the illustrious Kingston (touched ON. touching would be gross) when we chatted about how he liked to demand that federal employee wages be frozen […]

Like most years when there’s a Democrat in the White House, 2013 was a year of things getting rammed, crammed, jammed, shoved, and/or forced down our (America’s) throats. How big were the things? So big. Were they hard to swallow? Oh yes. But somehow, freedom will endure, we guess. Here is a list of 13 […]

Hey Congress, watcha doing? Making laws and working hard, ahahahhaha, yeah right, pardon us and our humor. The House has already skipped town to go home and await the arrival of White Santa, and the Senate just finished voting on the two-year compromise budget resolution, which passed 57-33. A COMPROMISE?!?! Yep, it seems that Sen. […]