Wonkette

Everybody in California’s 26th congressional district got this crazy-ass ALL CAPS hand-written freakout from beloved conservative bachelor David Dreier today. You can read the second page of ALL CAPS “MUST DRILL 4 OIL AT SEA WORLD OR ISLAMO FASCISTS WILL KILL KILL KILL” in the comments of basically all blogs everywhere.

President George Bush Jr. today lifted the executive ban on domestic offshore drilling for oil and natural gas, the same ban that his liberal father instituted 20-ish years ago. Take that, old retreating hack! But before the oil companies can start drilling off of your dock, Congress must lift its ban. Well that should be tough! We predict that Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi will whine about this for a good week, maybe 10 days, but should have a piece of drilling legislation ready for Bush’s Rose Garden signin’ desk by next Friday. [Bloomberg]

So what’s been going on with our greatest Vice President, Richard “Dick” Cheney, since we last spoke? Nothing much, just some new revelations about Cheney bein’ Cheney, hatin’ on the environment and such. In this latest news cycle, we have the tale of that time Cheney’s office once edited out six pages of the CDC director’s testimony to Congress regarding this: “CDC considers climate change a serious public health concern.” Silly egotistical CDC director. She’s obviously one of those people who gets pissed when her editors shake things up a bit — cutting commas, switching grafs, deleting major theses about climate change killing everyone, correcting split infinitives even if they do “sound” better. Any editor has dealt with these twits. We sympathize, Dick. [Washington Post]

• DISRESPECT TOWARD OUR LEADERS: A new Rasmussen poll: “This month, just 9% say Congress is doing a good or excellent job.” Here’s a poll question Rasmussen should consider for the future: Can you name a single issue Congress is currently working on? [Rasmussen]

Charles “Chip” Pickering is the only Mississippi Republican left in the House. He is the ultra-conservative son of famous racist/civil rights champion and retired federal judge Charles Pickering. Chip announced in August that he was quitting Congress so he could, of course, spend more time with his family, and get a lucrative lobbying job. The lobbying job will surely come, but on Friday it was announced that Chip is divorcing his wife so he can spend more time with all the various women he’s been connected with over the years. What, a Republican in Congress who commits adultery with the opposite sex? MORE »

• THIS WILL TURN OUT WELL: House Republicans would have to win back 19 seats in November to “Reclaim Our Majority,” which is why Roy Blunt’s big plan is to back exactly two GOP challengers. [TPM Election Central]

Now that a gallon of gas costs approximately “go fuck yourself” dollars across the nation, the United States House of Representatives is saving the middle class again by introducing legislation that is not only a waste of all human resources, but actually mocks America by romanticizing something which no one can afford. Three cheers to Rep. John Shimkus (R-Ill.) for his “National Corvette Day” bill, for its deserved praise of the “dependence on insanely expensive foreign oil” concept. You may read the bill after the jump, if you can afford it. MORE »

American Superstar Hillary Clinton has reemerged from her secret vacation cabana in Outer Space and returned to the Senate, for Work. As she exited her car on Capitol Hill, hundreds of supporters and reporters greeted her. She was wearing powder blue clothes. She ate lunch with other Senators. She may have read some policy briefs. Congress is awful. [NYT/The Caucus]

• OBAMA’S A LOSER: Uh oh, someone wants to look like a Tuff Guy by supporting illegal spying legislation that he previously… didn’t. And now every single comment board on the Internet will flood with great anti-Obama wits, writing “OOH WHOS YR DEM MESIAH NOW??” [Washington Post/The Trail]

Holy crap, did you know there’s a Republican Congressman named “Thad McCotter”? That was the actual name of every Congressman to serve before 1900. But the McCotter Who Survived, here, is a wonderful educator, too! Look at him explain, on the House floor, and with a ruler, the art of “Speaking Democrat.” He proves that in the Democrat tongue, “DIPLOMACY = MAGIC.” The Democrats are Harry Potter and his wizard friends! Another favorite: “GOVERNMENT = SOCIALISM,” which is a step up from Marxism at least. Teach us more! THAD = RAD. [YouTube]