congress

You guys probably remember the weird story of former Oregon Rep. David Wu, whose embarrassing departure from Congress Wonkette never mentioned because he’s a Democrat, right? In 2011, Wu was accused of an “unwanted sexual encounter” with a friend’s 18-year-old daughter, and resigned in disgrace, although ultimately no charges were brought. (Wu claimed the sex […]

On Wednesday’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart took a brief detour into the unsexy but important topic of infrastructure funding, which may not immediately seem like comedy gold, but the bit worked. Our Great Nation’s roads and bridges are in terrible shape, and the means by which Congress has traditionally paid for the federal highway trust […]

This nice lady is Sarah Palin wannabe and Louisiana state Rep. Lenar Whitney, who would like to bring her special brand of smarts to the U.S. Congress. She has an exciting video in which she explains that Global Warming is not real, because Al Gore, who made the whole thing up himself, is a big […]

Northern Minnesota is the land of Bob Dylan and the Boundary Waters, a place where every sunset is accompanied by the haunting songs of loons and no one ever talks about their feelings. It is also home to Stewart Mills, who is running for Congress and has been called the “Brad Pitt of the GOP” by […]

This week we’ll start wrapping up the Glorious Reagan Years, in which the Gipper personally defeated Communism almost everywhere by Standing Tall and being the manliest. And for a change, on the topic of Afghanistan at least, it’s our 11/12th-grade history textbook from Bob Jones University Press, United States History for Christian Schools (2002), that […]

Leading conservative intellectual Joe the Failed Politician Not-Plumber has decided that he has not spewed forth enough frothing filth to remind us all of what a horrible shitpile he is. First, he told the parents of dead kids in Isla Vista to STFU and quit whining about their tragedy because he is a classy fellow. […]

President Obama can’t do anything right, especially when it comes to kids. For some reason, he will not personally fly to Nigeria to rescue kidnapped schoolgirls, probably because he is lazy. Or maybe it’s because he is pro-child sex trafficking. What, you didn’t know that Obama was totes cool with child sex trafficking? ARE YOU […]

Are you ready to be shocked? Not just shocked, but SHOCKED? In an effort to scoop the VOX-FiveThirtyEight-Industrial-Statistical-Complex, Military.com has put together a super-sophisticated voluntary online poll that asks the really tough questions: Do you want to make more money, or less? Do you want to know the results? Can you even imagine what those […]

Up here in Minnesota, this tundra-dwelling portion of yr Wonkette has to deal with the double indignity of snow STILL being on the ground even as congressional endorsement balloting begins. It’s two terrible tastes that taste terrible together. This weekend, Minnesota saw the GOP hurl forward Aaron Miller, a fine upstanding young military vet, to […]

Are you done yet? Did you read all eight gazillion pages of the Ryan Budget, or did you stop after the first few lines and pleasure yourself thinking about his dreamy biceps? Well, we didn’t read it all either because we were distracted by whiskey. And his biceps. But luckily other people read it and […]

TRIGGER WARNING: It appears that several states are following the law as laid out in the new farm bill to… wait for it… help poor people eat!!!!1!1! Oh, the humanity! Are you outraged? Are you clutching your pearls while your panties bunch themselves in a wad? We should have warned for earmuffs for all children, […]

Time for a quick Fringe Candidate Update, Ye Wonkers: you may remember our brief mention of long-shot Republican congressional candidate Susanne Atanus back in January, when it looked like her decidedly unorthodox views on how diseases and weather work might lead to her dropping out of the primary race for Illinois’s 9th Congressional District. She […]

Well here is a fine how do you do: Rep. Steve Stockman, fresh off losing his big Senate primary to John Cornyn, became a Hero of Science Monday by pointing out that both astrology and climate change are nonsense. In advance of the Democrats’ all-night climate change slumber party, Stockman bravely tweeted: The party that […]

Well that escalated quickly. On Wednesday, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled that creepers couldn’t be prosecuted for taking creepy upskirt photos, because of the way the existing Peeping Tom law was written. And then the state legislature got to it, passed a new law, and Gov. Deval Patrick signed it this Friday morning. Our US Congress […]

Something weird happened when we learned that the CIA was probably spying on a Congressional committee tasked with investigating CIA abuses, including allegations of torture — you know, like beyond all the torture we already knew about. We are outraged, of course, but our outrage doesn’t feel like it used to. All we feel is […]