congress

Up here in Minnesota, this tundra-dwelling portion of yr Wonkette has to deal with the double indignity of snow STILL being on the ground even as congressional endorsement balloting begins. It’s two terrible tastes that taste terrible together. This weekend, Minnesota saw the GOP hurl forward Aaron Miller, a fine upstanding young military vet, to […]

Are you done yet? Did you read all eight gazillion pages of the Ryan Budget, or did you stop after the first few lines and pleasure yourself thinking about his dreamy biceps? Well, we didn’t read it all either because we were distracted by whiskey. And his biceps. But luckily other people read it and […]

TRIGGER WARNING: It appears that several states are following the law as laid out in the new farm bill to… wait for it… help poor people eat!!!!1!1! Oh, the humanity! Are you outraged? Are you clutching your pearls while your panties bunch themselves in a wad? We should have warned for earmuffs for all children, […]

Time for a quick Fringe Candidate Update, Ye Wonkers: you may remember our brief mention of long-shot Republican congressional candidate Susanne Atanus back in January, when it looked like her decidedly unorthodox views on how diseases and weather work might lead to her dropping out of the primary race for Illinois’s 9th Congressional District. She […]

Well here is a fine how do you do: Rep. Steve Stockman, fresh off losing his big Senate primary to John Cornyn, became a Hero of Science Monday by pointing out that both astrology and climate change are nonsense. In advance of the Democrats’ all-night climate change slumber party, Stockman bravely tweeted: The party that […]

Well that escalated quickly. On Wednesday, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled that creepers couldn’t be prosecuted for taking creepy upskirt photos, because of the way the existing Peeping Tom law was written. And then the state legislature got to it, passed a new law, and Gov. Deval Patrick signed it this Friday morning. Our US Congress […]

Something weird happened when we learned that the CIA was probably spying on a Congressional committee tasked with investigating CIA abuses, including allegations of torture — you know, like beyond all the torture we already knew about. We are outraged, of course, but our outrage doesn’t feel like it used to. All we feel is […]

How’s about a round of applause for Arizona state Sen. Steve Gallardo, who was moved by the recent excitement over the state’s discrimination-is-awesome bill to come out as gay today. “I am gay, I am Latino and I’m a state senator,” Gallardo said, explaining that the fight over SB 1062 had been a “game-changer” in […]

Rep. Dave Camp (R-Mich.) has proposed a tax reform plan that, on its face, is not an insult to math and human decency. Therefore he gets a simple (R-Mich.) next to his name here instead of the usual (R-dickflicker) thing we do because he is acting like a grown-up legislator statesman instead of a cruel […]

If Congress signs off on the Pentagon’s latest plans, the US Army will be smaller than it’s been since before your grandpa fought at the Battle of the Bulge, Iwo Jima, Pearl Harbor, D-Day, X-Men, and Cracker Barrel, yer Gramma got a coupon. This might look like a “cut” in the sense that something is […]

From the beautiful state of Nevada, we bring you the imaginative linguistic stylings of congressional candidate Cresent Hardy, a member of the state Assembly who would very much like to replace first-term Democrat Steven Horsford in the 4th District. On Tuesday, Hardy gave an interview to the Las Vegas Sun in which he shared some […]

Bad news for anyone who was looking forward to another stupid debt ceiling standoff: popular television personality and Speaker of the Whole House John Boehner says he will hold a House vote tomorrow to raise the borrowing limit of the United States, which he expects will pass only with a big assist from Democrats: House […]

Well, that might have been the fastest congressional candidacy in the West. A day (? yeah, probably a day) after filing for the Democratic Party’s endorsement to succeed Henry Waxman in his West LA seat, Sandra Fluke is all like nah mang, gonna run for state Senate instead because I just remembered that I am […]

Hey ladies. How you doing? With your uncontrolled libidos, we bet you are slutting it up all over the place, so thank the Spirit in the Sky that you can get free government slut pills so you can be as slutty as you wanna be! But maybe you whoring whoremonsters need some representation at the […]

Well, nuts, this is a genuine, bona fide Moment of Sad: after 20 terms in the House of Representatives, liberal healthcare superhero Henry Waxman and his unfortunate teeth announced today that he’ll be retiring at the end of his current term. In honor of his impressive cranium, may we suggest that the renovations of the […]