Wonkette

Wonkette’s parent company, Gawker Media, is sponsoring a party from 9-11 tonight at the Side Bar, on 7th and Red River. Your editor Sara K. Smith will be there feverishly downing free drinks, and she invites you to do the same. The party’s open to the public and will also feature Special Guest Stars from Lifehacker, Valleywag, Fleshbot, io9, and probably other Gawker blogs she hasn’t even heard of.

Gentlemen, start your praying!

“Did you know, ladies and gentlemen, that every day we inflict on ourselves another 9/11?”
-Gary Bauer

It was certainly news to us, but not to the thousand or so people watching with rapt attention the funny little man behind the podium at the Family Research Council’s (or FRC Action, their lobbying arm) “Washington Briefing” (or “Values Voters Summit“) last weekend. Gary Bauer — former head of the FRC ’til he pissed off the Christian Right by running for president, having an adultery scandal, and endorsing John McCain in 2000 — was the prodigal nutcase, welcomed with open arms as he riled the crowd up with stirring rhetoric that, unfortunately, came from a guy who looks and sounds like Radar from M*A*S*H.

The conference lasted all weekend, and we were at, uh, part of it. Exciting coverage of Gary, Ann Coulter, Newt Gingrich, and yes, future United States Senator Katherine Harris (complete with pictures from Liz Gorman, Intrepid and Creeped Out Girl Reporter), is after the jump.

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This is like a book tour Q&A. We miss the days when they screened and scripted these things, so we wouldn’t have to hear this guy talk about boxing for 20 minutes.

Onions — WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THEM? Unclear. Immigration policy has something to do with plucking/peeling onions.

Pull quotes:
“Forgering industy.”

“The onion guy out there.”

“Cach and release” — illegal immigrants = fish?

We, uh, are finding him very reasonable about immigration. Immigrants are not to be given amnesty, are still to be allowed to work our shittiest jobs. Makes sense to us.

He’s crackin’ jokes! Most are about how tired he is and how he wants to go home, though, which, uh, can’t really help that whole “Bush is disconnected and his administration is exhausted” idea.

And the grip-and-grin — watch closely. Two to three of the people whose hands he shakes in the next two minutes will end up resigning from something in disgrace, being indicted, or fleeing the country.

A few more general thoughts, after the jump:

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