Wonkette

Mike “Former Arkansas Governor” Huckabee had his pander on lock in South Carolina today, promising swift rectal justice to those who take issue with the Palmetto State’s fondness for the Confederate flag. “In fact, if somebody came to Arkansas and told us what to do with our flag, we’d tell ‘em what to do with the pole, that’s what we’d do,” Huckles said, trying to win over a room of leather-clad GOP bondage fetishists. The Stars and Bars, of course, is a litmus test for many South Carolinians, in much the same way that many other nationally irrelevant issues are litmus tests for other retarded voters in places that aren’t South Carolina. [Associated Press]

He was our greatest governor (of Virginia) and our greatest American senator. He loved the Confederate Flag, holding footballs, and terrorizing the Negroes. Also, he was photographed astride a horse, so he was obviously the new Ronald Reagan and was supposed to have an easy ride to the White House this year. But this legacy of greatness was destroyed by idiot liberals who had to make a big deal of his casual racism.

And now George Allen is refusing to run for governor again next year. Thanks a lot, jerk. What are we supposed to write about in ‘09 now?

Allen Won’t Run For Va. Governor [Washington Post]

Dick Cheney, Barack Obama’s Rwandan uncle, visited New York Monday to participate in that old Empire State tradition of hunting at a private club. While Cheney was going around shooting pelicans or whatever, some rascal New York Daily News photographer went searching the club’s maintenance sheds for bits of racism and discovered a 3-by-5 foot Confederate flag. The Daily News notified Brooklyn’s own Greasy Bear Al Sharpton, and a fake scandal has ensued. MORE »