Tag Archives: confederacy

  the power of aqua buddha compels you

Rand Paul Sure Loves This Dude Who Loves The Confederacy

Senator, you forgot to put on pants AGAIN???
Like Jesus, we all have a cross to bear, and our particular cross is shaped like Sen. Rand Paul (R-Headdesk), a man so dumb that we are amazed he is allowed out of his house without wearing a helmet and a mouth guard. And when he joins forces with Judge Andrew Napolitano, the Confederate apologist prone to criticizing President Lincoln for forcing an end to slavery when the judge insists the “peculiar institution” would have eventually, someday, probably, likely died out on its own? The tsunami of dumb unleashed on the public could make Idiocracy look like the Oxford classroom scenes in Chariots of Fire. Read more on Rand Paul Sure Loves This Dude Who Loves The Confederacy…
  for the racist who has everything

Georgia Offering Confederate Flag License Plates To Go With Your TruckNutz

Heritage is very very important to some people. No matter how disgraceful their ancestors may be, we all know those Germans Southerners who fly the Nazi Confederate flag in honor of long-dead grand-pappys who fought for the Third Reich Confederacy. And we all know that those folks don’t hate any particular people, but are just proud that their blood relatives fought for God and country, right? Well, folks in Georgia will now be able to find one more way to be totally not racist at all, and have that there license plate hanging from their pick-up truck, a perfect companion to rusted chewing tobacco cans and TruckNutz. Because nothing says class like desperately hanging on the the memory of fighting for the rights of people to own human beings based upon their skin color, amirite?  Read more on Georgia Offering Confederate Flag License Plates To Go With Your TruckNutz…
  gay old neoconfederate party

Rick Perry Also Supports Confederate/Pro-Slavery Groups

Salon’s Justin Elliott has some hawt new/old dirt on prancing Texas dingbat Rick Perry’s cozy ties with neoconfederate Rebel Flag types. The question with such revelations is, “Do they hurt Perry or help him?” Because in almost every case over the past forty years or so, a Republican presidential hopeful’s ties to fringe right and racist groups has helped, not hurt, in the primaries: Read more on Rick Perry Also Supports Confederate/Pro-Slavery Groups…
  happy gay/lesbian month!

Virginia Confederacy Annoyed By Gay Flag At Richmond Federal Reserve

Deep in the confederate stronghold of Richmond, Virginia, there’s something mighty queer afoot: The Federal Reserve building in Richmond has a homosexual rainbow flag fluttering beneath the American flag. Why? Apparently it’s National Gay and Lesbian and BLT Month, and if President Obama wasn’t already minority enough, he is also promoting this celebration of the degenerate “gay lifestyle.” If that rainbow flag continues flying all month, as planned, up to 47% of straight white Virginians might “turn gay” just by being exposed to the colorful banner. Read more on Virginia Confederacy Annoyed By Gay Flag At Richmond Federal Reserve…
  confederacy of dunces

Jefferson Davis To Be Re-Inaugurated As President of Confederacy Tomorrow

It’s been over 146 years since the Confederacy ceased to exist. But it’s been exactly 150 years since Jefferson Davis was inaugurated president of the thing in Alabama, and, boy, doesn’t it seem like that latter one was just yesterday? Tomorrow, the Sons of Confederate Veterans (Sons? How old are they? 135?) are descending on the Alabama State Capitol in Montgomery to inaugurate a person dressed up as Jefferson Davis as the president of slavery, just like they did back then. Huzzah! It won’t be hard for them, because the state of Alabama is making way for this festive event to happen, and there’s even a bronze star on the steps of the Capitol where he was sworn in! Oh, and there’s a “pre-inauguration” event at the Embassy Suites tonight: “Kracker Dan will provide the entertainment for the evening as the Division welcomes everyone to Montgomery!” Read more on Jefferson Davis To Be Re-Inaugurated As President of Confederacy Tomorrow…
  legislature of dunces

Secessionist Arkansas State Rep: Confed. Flag ‘Symbol of Jesus Christ’

Hey, you know what’s happening in the year 2010? A guy recently elected to the state legislature in Arkansas is the local chairman of a secessionist organization and says the flag of the Confederacy is “a symbol of Jesus Christ,” which is interesting, because other people would say that thing is a symbol that there’s not a Jesus Christ. Oh, but Republican Loy Mauch and his fellow cracker dweebs in The League of the South aren’t just waiting around until the Confederacy inevitably returns. They also seek to “personally secede from the corrupt and corrupting influence of post-Christian culture in America” by home-schooling their kids and starting “parallel institutions to which people can attach their loyalties.” Sounds like the kind of people you want running your state government. Read more on Secessionist Arkansas State Rep: Confed. Flag ‘Symbol of Jesus Christ’…
  wamp wamp

One of Basil Marceaux’s Leading Opponents, Zach Wamp, Would Like To Secede Maybe

Congressman Zach Wamp is locked in a three-way battle for the Republican nomination for Tennessee governor (though it will ultimately go to a fourth candidate, Basil Marceaux), and so to give himself an edge he has resorted to the best talking point ever (after traffic-stop slavery emancipation), hinting that he maybe would like to secede from the Union. “I hope that the American people will go to the ballot box in 2010 and 2012 so that states are not forced to consider separation from this government,” he said. It would be such a pain in the neck to go through that whole secession thing again! ANNOYYYYYYYYYYING. Just vote, you lazy bums. Read more on One of Basil Marceaux’s Leading Opponents, Zach Wamp, Would Like To Secede Maybe…
  Virginia is for time travelers

Virginia Townsfolk ‘Verklempt’ About Return of Rebel Statue

The people of Franklin County, Virginia, are feeling so emotional today, because their Confederate monument stands tall and proud once again — hooray! The Confederate-Americans had to live without their rebel-flag statue and prayer tower for three years after some jerk (probably a matured “anchor baby”) knocked it down with his liberalism-powered truck and broke it. Does it not warm your heart that even the 1860s have a place in post-racial America? Read more on Virginia Townsfolk ‘Verklempt’ About Return of Rebel Statue…
  objectivity and meaninglessness and stuff

CNN Will Grind A Debate Out Of Anything, Baby, ANYTHING

Goddamnit, CNN. Isn’t it embarrassing that anyone thinks we should be having a “debate” about the Confederacy, a horrific, treasonous tumor on American history, promulgated by consolidated oligarchic financial interests intent on paying zero labor costs? NO. There are “different points of view,” meaning each is 50% correct, forever. Read more on CNN Will Grind A Debate Out Of Anything, Baby, ANYTHING…
  republicans in the news

Did You Know *Other* Republican Governors Are Creepy Weirdos, Like Mark Sanford?

Anybody who says the Associated Press is not the most important wire service with “AP” as its initials just plain hates good journalism. Following up on yesterday’s scorcher about how there were five (5) other governors who did something vaguely weird once, over the course of American state history, today AP headquarters in New York offers up what just might be the most cogent yet blistering assessment of the Mark Sanford “Argentine Firecracker” scandal thus far: Sanford is a Republican governor doing lame, creepy things … just like all those other Republican governors trying to make a name for themselves in the GOP’s final days. Read more on Did You Know *Other* Republican Governors Are Creepy Weirdos, Like Mark Sanford?…
  regional bias

Barack Obama Hates Every Southerner Except Robert Gibbs

Our new president might say he likes diversity and things, but then why does he not fiscally stimulate the ailing South by hiring some southerners to work for him, HMMM? He has precisely one (1) staffer who hails from below the Mason-Dixon line, one “Robert Gibbs,” who does not count because he has zero neck tattoos and does not listen to Skynyrd. Read more on Barack Obama Hates Every Southerner Except Robert Gibbs…