condoleezza rice
A Childrens’ Treasury Of People You Never Wanted To Think About Ever Again
Since this month marks the ten-year anniversary of the War to Soothe George W. Bush’s Daddy Issues, and because our blood pressure has not skyrocketed to the point where it blew out the cuff the nurse strapped around our arm at our last physical, your Wonkette thought it would be fun to take a look [...]
Condoleezza Rice Now Smacking People In The Face With Her Balls
World’s greatest living Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who absolutely could not have known anyone would ever use an airplane as a missile, and who could not have known Saddam was not seeking yellowcake in Niger, and who could never have been blamed for Manolo-shopping while a city drowned, has now taken her reign of [...]
Kathryn Jean Lopez Gets Thrill Up Her Leg For Romney’s ‘Vision Thing’
Apparently, there has been a turning point in Mitt Romney’s campaign—a GOOD turning point of some kind. We know this because Kathryn Jean Lopez has taken to the National Review to inform us of such, even if she can’t quite identify exactly why this was a turning point, or what it means, or how it [...]
Condoleezza Rice Changes Mind, Would Like To Be Vice President Now
Haha, hey, remember this? It was the day after the 2008 election, and Condoleezza Rice was crying and smiling at the same time, like a crazy person, about the wondrous miracle that had occurred with Barack Hussein Obama being elected president of these United States. Now? Dr. Rice, it would seem, has had herself a [...]
Pat Robertson Mystified By Strange African-American Thanksgiving Ritual
The Pat Robertson teevee show has been desegregated, apparently by force, and now allows a Negress interviewer to interview “her kind” (Condoleezza Rice). What are the mysterious black people up to, this Thanksgiving? The hip-hop? Smokin’ crack? Crunking? Voodoo? Hankering for the Original Constitution days when they were slaves? No, worse. They are eating bizarre [...]
Bored Condi Calls For Attacking Iran, Because What Else Is There To Do
America’s most lovable war criminal, Condoleezza Rice, likes only one thing more than hawking her new book, and that’s warmongering. So now that she’s been removed from the White House (too late), and is back to being a regular old academic-type person, with a new book, what do you suppose she’s doing with all her [...]
All the Black People In G.W. Bush’s Administration Angry At Dick Cheney
With former secretary of state Condoleezza Rice now publicly complaining about Dick Cheney’s “cheap shots” in his bullshit book about how he is the Number One Hitler of All History and everybody else can suck it, both black people from the George W. Bush Administration have condemned the evil, subhuman former vice president for not [...]
Condi Rice Photos Are Moammar Gaddafi’s Dictator Porn of Choice
It turns out that possibly (?) ousted nutjob Libyan dictator Moammar Gaddafi kept a big ol’ catalogue of fap fuel made up of Condoleezza Rice photo scrapbooks hidden in his torture castle. “I support my darling black African woman. I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to [...]
CONDI RICE & ARETHA FRANKLIN, LIVE IN CONCERT: What? Yes, apparently our former sheepish warmonger Condoleezza Rice played piano while Aretha Franklin sang the Battle Hymn of Fallujah. Creepy pictures can be found, of course, at the home of our dearly-departed “Condi Roundup” columnist. [Princess Sparkle Pony]
Carly Fiorina Earns Coveted (?) Endorsement From Condi Rice
Once upon a time there was a magical fairy princess who toured the world in S&M dungeon garb conducting fake affairs with Canadian dignitaries, and at night she would go home and polish off whole bottles of lukewarm ten-dollar Chardonnay while eating microwave popcorn and weeping silently to reruns of What Not to Wear. Her [...]
Snobby Elitist College Nerds Attack Condi, Condi Fights Back
Hooray for VIDEO FRIDAY, yes? Now you will watch this video. Condi Rice teaches at Stanford again and recently attended this Dorm Reception to meet the rich liberal bastards, who decided to harass her, about torture. We encourage you to watch the whole clip, because she gets progressively snippier as it goes on. “Sorry, you’re [...]
Condi On Leno
You may have forgotten about this with glamorous President Obama hogging the airwaves last evening, but another famous celebrity appeared on the teevee last night! It was that lady, Condoleezza Rice, who made history by becoming the first Secretary of State to wear sexy dominatrix outfits on foreign junkets. She chatted a few minutes with [...]
Condi Rice To Write Several Books!
Condoleezza Rice just signed a $2.5 million contract to write three books about 1) her years in the Bush Administration and 2) her life. It will be so awesome to read about all the terrible throwdowns she got into drunk, and that time she engaged in a crack-fueled confrontation with Ohio cops and got arrested [...]
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