condoleezza rice

OhEmmGee, you guys! Remember how a year ago we were all Hopey and Changey Part II and still drunkenly reveling in the streets because Blablack Blackbama was returning triumphantly to the White House and we were finally done with Richie Rich and his TigerBeat sidekick? Well strap on your campaign buttons because while there are […]

Things are pretty bad now. Many liberals are angry, depressed, or both. We wasted our breath for years, saying “Hey rich folks, we know you don’t love paying taxes, but these people you’re manipulating with ridiculous lies in order to win elections — maybe stop? Because they’re idiots, and they could be dangerous?” Nobody listened. […]

Since this month marks the ten-year anniversary of the War to Soothe George W. Bush’s Daddy Issues, and because our blood pressure has not skyrocketed to the point where it blew out the cuff the nurse strapped around our arm at our last physical, your Wonkette thought it would be fun to take a look […]

World’s greatest living Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who absolutely could not have known anyone would ever use an airplane as a missile, and who could not have known Saddam was not seeking yellowcake in Niger, and who could never have been blamed for Manolo-shopping while a city drowned, has now taken her reign of […]

Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is quite certain that Mitt Romney would be a much better foreign policy president than that Barack Obama guy. On CBS’s Morning Show yesterday, host Norah O’Donnell asked Rice to identify specific foreign policy things that Obama had failed at, but she politely dodged the question and said she […]

Apparently, there has been a turning point in Mitt Romney’s campaign—a GOOD turning point of some kind. We know this because Kathryn Jean Lopez has taken to the National Review to inform us of such, even if she can’t quite identify exactly why this was a turning point, or what it means, or how it […]

Haha, hey, remember this? It was the day after the 2008 election, and Condoleezza Rice was crying and smiling at the same time, like a crazy person, about the wondrous miracle that had occurred with Barack Hussein Obama being elected president of these United States. Now? Dr. Rice, it would seem, has had herself a […]

Whoa whoa WHOA there, Ms. Al Sharpton Jr. and OJ Simpson Jr. Combined! Andrea Mitchell Reported on Andrea Mitchell Reports that known African-American confirmed bachelorette and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, when asked about the Trayvon Martin case perpetrating in Florida, said that we are not a race-blind society. HOW DARE SHE AND ET […]

The Pat Robertson teevee show has been desegregated, apparently by force, and now allows a Negress interviewer to interview “her kind” (Condoleezza Rice). What are the mysterious black people up to, this Thanksgiving? The hip-hop? Smokin’ crack? Crunking? Voodoo? Hankering for the Original Constitution days when they were slaves? No, worse. They are eating bizarre […]

America’s most lovable war criminal, Condoleezza Rice, likes only one thing more than hawking her new book, and that’s warmongering. So now that she’s been removed from the White House (too late), and is back to being a regular old academic-type person, with a new book, what do you suppose she’s doing with all her […]

With former secretary of state Condoleezza Rice now publicly complaining about Dick Cheney’s “cheap shots” in his bullshit book about how he is the Number One Hitler of All History and everybody else can suck it, both black people from the George W. Bush Administration have condemned the evil, subhuman former vice president for not […]

It turns out that possibly (?) ousted nutjob Libyan dictator Moammar Gaddafi kept a big ol’ catalogue of fap fuel made up of Condoleezza Rice photo scrapbooks hidden in his torture castle. “I support my darling black African woman. I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to […]

CONDI/ARETHA 2012!  12:11 pm July 28, 2010

by Ken Layne

CONDI RICE & ARETHA FRANKLIN, LIVE IN CONCERT: What? Yes, apparently our former sheepish warmonger Condoleezza Rice played piano while Aretha Franklin sang the Battle Hymn of Fallujah. Creepy pictures can be found, of course, at the home of our dearly-departed “Condi Roundup” columnist. [Princess Sparkle Pony]

Once upon a time there was a magical fairy princess who toured the world in S&M dungeon garb conducting fake affairs with Canadian dignitaries, and at night she would go home and polish off whole bottles of lukewarm ten-dollar Chardonnay while eating microwave popcorn and weeping silently to reruns of What Not to Wear. Her […]

Hooray for VIDEO FRIDAY, yes? Now you will watch this video. Condi Rice teaches at Stanford again and recently attended this Dorm Reception to meet the rich liberal bastards, who decided to harass her, about torture. We encourage you to watch the whole clip, because she gets progressively snippier as it goes on. “Sorry, you’re […]