Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was all about Condi’s big Carnival o’ Peace™ in Annapolis. Yes! That was only a few days ago! Not much happened, but that didn’t stop people from writing about it. Plus: more excerpts from Elizabeth Bumiller’s Condiography which is maybe going to be serialized in Maureen Dowd’s column. And, finally, it was Mean Caricature Week! After the jump, we’ll relive the Condiweek that was.

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Anthony Lewis reviewed Glenn Kessler’s Condiography The Confidante in yesterday’s New York Times Sunday Book Review, and, you know, blah, blah, blah. Whatever. It all just seems like an excuse to publish the accompanying illustration, an absolutely fab drawing of Condoleezza Rice by the excitingly-named Noma Bar. If you’re reluctant to click the link, see a full-sized screenshot of the illustration and learn more about the artist after the jump…

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What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was a holiday, so there wasn’t a lot of hot Condi action, so let’s take a look at her legacy, OK? Skeptics may wish to point out Dr. Ferragamo’s many failures, but there’s one area in which our beloved heroine has absolutely triumphed: Condoleezza Rice has perfected the MAPO, the matching armchairs photo-op. Join me for an in-depth look at this impressive diplomatic capability after the jump!

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What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week was really fun in Condiland! Like her illustrious mentor, G. H. W. Bush, she inspired a new foreign language insult! It was her birthday! Something about laser helmets! And at the end of the week? OMG, new hairdo. Did you hear me? NEW HAIRDO.

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What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week? OMG, it was mostly all about writing about Condi! We’re talking people running into each other at cocktail parties and going, all, “OMG, you’re writing a book about Condi? Me too! Have you seen my latest newspaper article about her? It’s so much better than Glenn Kessler’s.” Soon there will be enough words written about Condoleezza Rice to build her a stairway to the moon! Which would be a good idea right around now! MORE »

What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week, Dr. Secretary sat around and offended her underlings, said goodbye to an old friend, got sharp objects thrown at her by Turkish children, and then received a subpoena from mean people who just won’t leave her alone!

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Mean people in Congress totally made Condoleezza Rice interrupt her usual routine by making her sit down and answer a bunch of boring questions about, you know, Iraqi government corruption, murderous Blackwater mercenaries, and a bunch of other stuff that she doesn’t know anything about. Ooooh… why does Waxman keep pestering Condi?

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I’ve always had fantasies about Condoleezza Rice and Charles Manson dancing the Charleston together. I know, weird, huh? But now, thanks to JibJab’s “starring you” feature, the fantasy has become thrillingly real! The embedded video is after the jump.

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You may have heard that Bush made a *OMG SURPRISE!* trip to Iraq yesterday with his BFF, Condi, and his tiny (yet perfectly-formed) defense secretary Robert Gates. Or did they? Even the Washington Times seemed puzzled this morning, wondering, How’d they do that? Maybe they didn’t! See the peculiarly unconvincing AP photos after the jump…

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Welcome to a very special someone-forgot-to-post-last-week Monday edition of Cartoon Violence, the nation’s favorite way of reading Today’s Cartoons without having to read Today’s Cartoons.

After the jump, resident cartoon expert the Comics Curmudgeon rouses himself from his Sunday funnies-strewn bed and examines the back pages of our nation’s A-sections for your edification.

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