Wonkette

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Condi was back in Foggy Bottom 24/7 last week, and you know what that means: photo-ops, photo-ops, photo-ops! Indeed, the State Department’s reception room was a revolving door to all kinds of diplobots from strategically unchallenging countries. And somebody had the nerve to call Our Heroine incompetent. Why do they keep doing that? So mean! Join me after the jump for a Condiological safari through the last seven days…

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Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Condi’s been a gal-on-the-go, a veritable Mary Tyler Moore of the diplotaunte circuit. She traipsed from Switzerland to Germany and then all the way to Colombia and back again. More importantly, using advanced Wonkette Shoe Identification Technology, we can reveal the shocking news that Madame Secretary has shifted her footwear allegiance from Ferragamo to Manolo. All this, Oliver North, and Robert Novak’s wistful dreams of a Condi vice presidency … after the jump!

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Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

It was a superfun Condiweek, starting off with festive drinks in Dubai and ending with an apparently drunken farewell to an old friend. In between was another OMG SURPRISE! trip to Iraq and a frightening encounter with a dangerous bird. Relive the magic after the jump!

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Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

The New Year Condidrought is over …. Or is it? Last week got off to a rousing start with a slew of interviews and then climaxed with Our Heroine’s trip to the Middle East with the boss. To a less practiced Condiwatcher, this would indicate a return to business-as-usual for the secretary of state. But I know better: the real Condoleezza Rice is still on vacation. What we’ve been seeing this past week has been the Condibot.

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Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

I’ll be honest with you: It wasn’t the Condiweek of all Condiweeks. One of her diplomatic BFFs got assassinated, Condi’s democracy didn’t work out so well in Kenya, and instead of glamorous foreign guests, she only got visits from Bulgaria and Libya. But how can we learn all there is to know about the adorable Foggy Bottom hostess with the mostest if we don’t try to understand these “down times” together?

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Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Listicles, of course, are the year-end gift writers give themselves. But you know what? It’s been such a peculiar year for the Condibot that it would be totally criminal not to look back and reflect on its thrilling awkwardness. Join me on an epic journey through my personal (hey, get your own column!) favorite special moments in Dr. Ferragamo’s 2007, and my picks for AP’s Condirazzi photos of the year, after the jump…

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Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Last week started off exciting with an OMG SURPRISE trip to Iraq and a luv connection with Sarkozy. But then along came the Grinch who stole the week before Xmas, John Bolton! Ew! All this and Black Leather Condi Glove Turkeys after the jump!

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Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! So you know what the best, most exciting part of last week was? Waiting for Elizabeth Bumiller’s Condiography to finally come out on Tuesday! You know what the worst, most boring part of last week was? Reading it! OMG, so boring! It was a pretty uneventful Condiweek, though, so I’ll be filling up space in this column with some alternative marketing strategies for Ms. Bumiller’s opus. I mean, just because the inside’s boring, it doesn’t mean the outside has to be! Plus! Condoleezza Rice gingerbread cookies fresh from the oven of the Washington Post! All that and Rush Limbaugh, too, after the jump!

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Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was all about Condi’s big Carnival o’ Peace™ in Annapolis. Yes! That was only a few days ago! Not much happened, but that didn’t stop people from writing about it. Plus: more excerpts from Elizabeth Bumiller’s Condiography which is maybe going to be serialized in Maureen Dowd’s column. And, finally, it was Mean Caricature Week! After the jump, we’ll relive the Condiweek that was.

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Anthony Lewis reviewed Glenn Kessler’s Condiography The Confidante in yesterday’s New York Times Sunday Book Review, and, you know, blah, blah, blah. Whatever. It all just seems like an excuse to publish the accompanying illustration, an absolutely fab drawing of Condoleezza Rice by the excitingly-named Noma Bar. If you’re reluctant to click the link, see a full-sized screenshot of the illustration and learn more about the artist after the jump…

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What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was a holiday, so there wasn’t a lot of hot Condi action, so let’s take a look at her legacy, OK? Skeptics may wish to point out Dr. Ferragamo’s many failures, but there’s one area in which our beloved heroine has absolutely triumphed: Condoleezza Rice has perfected the MAPO, the matching armchairs photo-op. Join me for an in-depth look at this impressive diplomatic capability after the jump!

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What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week was really fun in Condiland! Like her illustrious mentor, G. H. W. Bush, she inspired a new foreign language insult! It was her birthday! Something about laser helmets! And at the end of the week? OMG, new hairdo. Did you hear me? NEW HAIRDO.

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What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week? OMG, it was mostly all about writing about Condi! We’re talking people running into each other at cocktail parties and going, all, “OMG, you’re writing a book about Condi? Me too! Have you seen my latest newspaper article about her? It’s so much better than Glenn Kessler’s.” Soon there will be enough words written about Condoleezza Rice to build her a stairway to the moon! Which would be a good idea right around now! MORE »

What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week, Dr. Secretary sat around and offended her underlings, said goodbye to an old friend, got sharp objects thrown at her by Turkish children, and then received a subpoena from mean people who just won’t leave her alone!

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