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Posts Tagged ‘condi’

CONDOLEEZZA RICE

Condi Joins Kiss Army, Fails Her Country

Friday, May 30th, 2008

Bizarre psychopath Condoleezza Rice went to Stockholm, Sweden yesterday to discuss the future of Iraq with god knows who else. At the same time in Sweden, the rock band Kiss was having a concert, even though they were supposed to have all retired years ago. The band members asked Condi to stop by their hotel after she was finished solving Iraq and… she did! Rice, you see, is such a big fan of Kiss that her favorite song of theirs is "Rock And Roll All Nite," an obscure b-side that only two or three other Americans have ever heard. Elitist. [AP ]


FUNNY PICTURES

Condi Classic Sitcom Reruns

Monday, May 12th, 2008

OMG!!Oh no! Condi’s stuck on repeat! Or maybe shuffle! She went places, she met people… but it all seems so familiar, like she’s just coasting for the next eight months or something. I don’t know about you, but there are some Condi reruns I’d much rather see, so let’s use the magical, revelatory power of Photoshop to pump up the Condiweek that was… after the jump, natch!

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GEORGE BUSH

Condi’s Ton O’ Luv

Monday, April 28th, 2008

OMG!!It was a pretty bad Condiweek! She went all the way to the Middle East and accomplished little more than photo-ops with the morbidly obese; she bickered with kindly old man Jimmy Carter; and then she came home and participated in one of the most gruesomely cynical Bush Administration publicity stunts EVER. Catch up with America’s Princess Diplomat after the jump!

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CONDOLEEZZA RICE

Condi Meets Pope, Goes To Iraq, Grows Antlers

Monday, April 21st, 2008

OMG!!Kind of a weird week in Condiland! She had to threaten her staff again, had an awkward moment with Madeleine Albright, and endured the embarrassment of standing idly by as the Pope got kissed by — ew! — Nancy Pelosi. And that was really kind of it! So let’s flesh things out the way real journalists do: by making things up! See the pictures and feel the magic, after the jump!

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CONDOLEEZZA RICE

Return of the Living Condi Veep Rumors

Monday, April 14th, 2008

OMG!!Veteran Condiwatchers thought the ridiculous vice presidential rumors were over and done with, but oh no, there was to be one final, glorious flare-up last week to finally burn them to cinders. What else has America’s Princess Diplomat been up to for the last seven days? Well, it all involves paperweights, cutesy baseball references, Jimmy Carter, and torture! Yay! Find out all about it after the jump.

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GEORGE BUSH

Casting ‘n’ Condicising

Monday, April 7th, 2008

OMG!!Last week was fun for Condi fans, but not so much fun for Condoleezza herself. She got dragged around by Bush on his farewell lap around NATO, and she had some laffs with George, but mostly was kind of a fifth wheel. Back home, the rest of us got to enjoy hot new Condicising photos and we finally learned who’s playing Madame Secretary in Oliver Stone’s Bush movie. Find out who the lucky actress is after the jump!

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GEORGE BUSH

Beyond the Valley of the Condi Veep Rumors

Monday, March 31st, 2008

OMG!!America’s Princess Diplobot had a busy end of March: She celebrated 4,000 troop deaths in Iraq, reminisced about slavery, and reignited vice presidential rumors all by herself, by doing nothing more than talking to a friendly bear. Way to go, girl! Catch up with Condi after the jump!

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GEORGE W. BUSH

Mulder & Scully Crack 9/11-Condi Conspiracy

Thursday, March 27th, 2008

It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma.A long time ago in the 1990s there was this teevee program called The X-Files — a creepy mix of Nixon-era political conspiracy, the occult, fake terror attacks, FEMA killing everybody, and Space Demons. It seemed completely fantastic until 2001, when Dick Cheney and George W. Bush began their reign of horror. And finally, after years of silence, the creators of the X-Files are talking about how this administration stole all their ideas, even 9/11! MORE »


CONDOLEEZZA RICE

Condi Waxes Brazilian

Monday, March 17th, 2008

OMG!!Having to beg from Congress with those awful red-handed Code Pink hausfraus mocking you isn’t a very nice way to start your week, but Condi Rice got rewarded with a two-day fiesta in Brazil! Yay! Join the Condi Carnival, after the jump!

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GEORGE W. BUSH

Condi’s Running Out of Time

Monday, March 10th, 2008

OMG!!A Condoleezza road show is so much fun! Our Condi bounced from Egypt to Ramallah to Tel Aviv to Brussels, enjoying several perfect photo-ops along the way. The only problem was that outside the photo-ops, it was one of the most incriminating Condiweeks EVER, brimming with embarrassments, snubs, that Gaza Strip thing, and OMG, Glenn Kessler! So mean! Let’s all pile on with Glenn after the jump!

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CONDOLEEZZA RICE

Meet the Anti-Condi!

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

OMG!!Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomatâ„¢!

Friends, last week was totally boring in Condiland, so we’re going to ignore it! Instead, we’re going to ponder the opposite of Condi. Yes, just as there is an Antichrist (no, not Dick Cheney, Kathy Lee Gifford!) and an Anti-Elvis (Michael J. Fox), so too is there an Anti-Condi. Who is it? Join me after the jump and find out!

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