Tag: computers

"Dear Mr. Trump. We at the NFL urge you not to get in our way.' There, that should do it

Reddit Enthusiastically Fingerbangs Donald Trump, In His Bottom

Donald Trump doesn't have much experience being a political despot, yet.

Michele Bachmann Says Carly Fiorina Loves Muslims Too Much To Be President

Here is a thing that happened: We would never assume that former member of Congress and one-time presidential wannabe Michele Bachmann would automatically support Carly Fiorina for president, just because of how she is a batshit crazy conservative rightwing Republican...
We can see why she'd cause 'safety concerns'

We Are Sure Entire Missouri Town Had Good Non-Racist Reason For Quitting When Black Lady Elected Mayor

Here's a fun little political fuck-tussle: In the town of Parma, Missouri (population 713 and reportedly declining), five of the six members of the town's police department resigned, as did several city officials, just before the town's first black...
Look, Natasha! Is Taco Tuesday every week!

Russia’s In Ur White House Computers, Snoopin All Ur Sextings

CNN reported Tuesday that Russian hackers broke into an unclassified White House computer system last fall, and while they didn't break into any classified systems, they still "had access to sensitive information such as real-time non-public details of the...

Pat Robertson Introduces This Nice Lady Who Writes Nice Children’s Books About The Mark Of The Beast

Well, folks, it's Thursday, so we've got yet another Sign of the End Times. This time, Pat Robertson has discovered that electronic payments are the Mark of the Beast. We always thought it was UPC codes, but apparently, no,...

The Daily Show’s Jessica Williams Has Had It With These Racist Dogs (Video)

The Daily Show's Jessica Williams takes Fox News at its word when it says racism isn't a problem anymore, but that does leave her wondering why 100% of people bitten by police dogs in LA County were black or...

Great Britain Pardons Father Of Modern Computing And Nerd Icon Alan Turing, For Gay

Great Britain has made a small step toward correcting one of the great injustices of the postwar era -- not that it can ever be made right, of course -- and has issued a posthumous pardon and apology to...

Georgia Jurors Don’t Have Option To State Occupation As ‘Slave’ Anymore, Obamacare Probably To Blame

It's getting to where political correctness is just ruining everything, isn't it? ABA Journal reports that Court officials in DeKalb County, Ga., acted quickly after learning that an online jury form listed “slave” as a possible occupation. They add that the...

Teen Korner For Teenz: Digital Coast Guard Edition

Avast (that shows that I’m no land-lubber, cuz I said avast), ye scurvy snarky dogs, the wanton wireless wastrels have continued their campaign of theft. And, as shown to me by the minor shitstorm (a manure monsoon, if you...

Prepare For Your Newest Reason For Getting Laid Off, America: You Just Got Insourced!

Well, it's finally happening to non-Poors too: high-income IT workers are now being replaced by Indian workers who will agree to work for less pay and no benefits. Welcome to the future, where the only jobs left will be...

Students Successfully Hijack Domestic Flying Killer Robot

Drones! Or, as they are affectionately called, "Flying Killer Robots!" Apparently they are coming soon to American airspace and they will fix everything, from pollution in Nebraska to checking out pirates to fighting fires! So what is NOT to...

Stocks Collapse Worldwide On News About Meg Whitman

Unloved corporate failure Meg Whitman was last seen insisting that she should be governor of California because goddammit, she paid $141 million to be governor of California. And now the former eBay executive has re-appeared on the public stage,...

Banker-Controlled Government Can’t Figure Out How To Prosecute Bankers

The Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations said on Wednesday that Goldman Sachs "misled investors selling mortgage-backed investments it knew would fail" and that executives from the bank had also "misled Congress in a testimony given in 2010." And now...

Mike Huckabee Destroyed All Evidence He Ever Used a Computer

Mother Jones is apparently looking through the public records of the lame Republican presidential candidates these days (maybe THEY can figure out which of those Trump birth certificates/strands of hair are real), and they hit a snag when they...

Libyan Protesters Call For ‘Day of Rage’

Salaam, and a very merry DAY OF RAGE to you! Did you forget to buy your girlfriend something nice for this Day of Rage? (Of course not, because who has a girlfriend?) That's okay, just burn down a police...

‘Palestine Papers’ Leak Causes Chaos; Whole World Now Leaking Away

Will Al Jazeera be accused of "surprise sex" for its release of thousands of "Palestine Papers" detailing the dirty deals of the Middle East peace process? That's the question some blogger somewhere is probably writing a long post about,...