computers

Well, folks, it’s Thursday, so we’ve got yet another Sign of the End Times. This time, Pat Robertson has discovered that electronic payments are the Mark of the Beast. We always thought it was UPC codes, but apparently, no, it’s electronic banking, and maybe also RFID chips, and for all we know, probably immigration reform […]

The Daily Show’s Jessica Williams takes Fox News at its word when it says racism isn’t a problem anymore, but that does leave her wondering why 100% of people bitten by police dogs in LA County were black or Latino. So she asks a dog trainer the obvious question: “Is that because we taste better?” […]

Great Britain has made a small step toward correcting one of the great injustices of the postwar era — not that it can ever be made right, of course — and has issued a posthumous pardon and apology to Alan Turing, the genius who helped break the German “Enigma” code during WWII and who pretty […]

It’s getting to where political correctness is just ruining everything, isn’t it? ABA Journal reports that Court officials in DeKalb County, Ga., acted quickly after learning that an online jury form listed “slave” as a possible occupation. They add that the choice was deleted from the drop-down menu within an hour after a teevee news […]

Avast (that shows that I’m no land-lubber, cuz I said avast), ye scurvy snarky dogs, the wanton wireless wastrels have continued their campaign of theft. And, as shown to me by the minor shitstorm (a manure monsoon, if you will. Or a fecal flurry) that occurred in the comments of my last kolumn, it is […]

Well, it’s finally happening to non-Poors too: high-income IT workers are now being replaced by Indian workers who will agree to work for less pay and no benefits. Welcome to the future, where the only jobs left will be upper upper management, service, and court jester crap (i.e., Louis C.K., Lady Gaga, Girltalk, etc).

Drones! Or, as they are affectionately called, “Flying Killer Robots!” Apparently they are coming soon to American airspace and they will fix everything, from pollution in Nebraska to checking out pirates to fighting fires! So what is NOT to like about domestic drones, maybe that’s the better question! Except for the tiny little problem of […]

Unloved corporate failure Meg Whitman was last seen insisting that she should be governor of California because goddammit, she paid $141 million to be governor of California. And now the former eBay executive has re-appeared on the public stage, with news that she will be hired to run the ruined tech company Hewlett Packard. The […]

The Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations said on Wednesday that Goldman Sachs “misled investors selling mortgage-backed investments it knew would fail” and that executives from the bank had also “misled Congress in a testimony given in 2010.” And now all the thieving, lying bankers who ruined America will be sent to Bagram Fun Palace. Just […]

Mother Jones is apparently looking through the public records of the lame Republican presidential candidates these days (maybe THEY can figure out which of those Trump birth certificates/strands of hair are real), and they hit a snag when they requested Mike Huckabee’s from his time as governor of Arkansas. Apparently Mike Huckabee never was governor […]

Salaam, and a very merry DAY OF RAGE to you! Did you forget to buy your girlfriend something nice for this Day of Rage? (Of course not, because who has a girlfriend?) That’s okay, just burn down a police station, in honor of how much you dislike Libya’s weirdo sorta-king thingy, Muammar Gaddafi. Yes! Libyan […]

Will Al Jazeera be accused of “surprise sex” for its release of thousands of “Palestine Papers” detailing the dirty deals of the Middle East peace process? That’s the question some blogger somewhere is probably writing a long post about, right now, as the world’s governments groan and shudder like a weary whore under the weight […]

Joe Miller lied about computers. What does this even mean? It means Joe says he’s never heard of computers, when in fact he has used computers several times, for all sorts of unethical things. (He wrongly used a computer for “political purposes,” and not for sending Animal P0rno to Carl Paladino? Weird.) Poor Joe Miller […]

So a bunch of fancy world leaders gathered at Davos to discuss the “world economy,” such as it is, and generally be lame together this year. The “headliners” were such sexy globe-trotting humanitarian starlets as Vladimir Putin and Wen Jiabao. Putin said something mean to Michael Dell, because that is something Putin loves doing: publicly […]

A Wonkette publishing operative has sent us this leaked letter (.PDF) from the Workman Publishing Co., publishers of the new book “Is This Thing On?”: A Computer Handbook for Late Bloomers, Technophobes, and the Kicking & Screaming, to McCain deputy e-campaign director Mark Soohoo. The P.R. person writes that folks are being unfair with McCain […]