communists

What even the fuck, “Joe” Scarborough? We thought we could count on you to be our sexy douchey conservadaddy (shut up wonkers), and it turns out you are just another emoprog #Occupy communist pansy whining about income inequality and Warren Buffett’s secretary’s tax rate. First you came to take all our guns and put them […]

Many of you were probably too hung over on Wednesday to remember that it was the day Bill de Blasio was inaugurated as mayor of New York City. It was a wonderful and festive day, though perhaps tinged with fear at what the city’s future in the grip of this mad Communist dictator may be. […]

Looks like it’s time for another trip to the ol’ comment queue, that purgatory where comments submitted by new users must cool off until we deem them worthy of inclusion in the Wonkette Community (bribery can help). Our first missive comes from “Sam_Gavurin,” who was not at all pleased with our story about fake “War […]

One of our favorite wingnuts, unhinged radio* panic-man Kevin Swanson, who gave us the science facts about tiny dead babies inside the wombs of women using the pill and how Mark Twain was possessed by demons, now has something else to freak out about: Cookies. Cookies baked not by elves, but by Girl Scouts, who […]

Hey, remember how we were yukking it up yesterday about Victoria Jackson’s very strange appearance on Bill O’Reilly’s Television Freakshow, where she talked about how she’s worried that communists are going to kill her and all Christians? WELL! In an article that was briefly posted to then deleted from her website — but not before […]

Have you met Ted Cruz yet? He is the new face of crazy for the Republican party, and boy does he have it all — the smug countenance of Paul Ryan! The poise of Joe McCarthy! And the batshit crazy of Rand Paul, or Ron Paul, whatever — either way, he is THAT CRAZY! Did you […]

In Tuesday’s State of the Union address, President Obama pointed out that you can work for 40 hours a week at minimum wage and still live in squalid poverty, and suggested that we raise it from $7.25 to $9 per hour by 2015, and also index it to inflation. This, of course, is Communism! This […]

Look at poor, downtrodden you, just browsing Reddit to get through the day in your cubicle at some “private” company, where you aren’t offered the competitive salary, benefits, and rights to complain as those posh government workers in equivalent positions. Pissed, aren’t you? It isn’t fair – government workers have it almost as easy as […]

Climate change and contributing factors from carbon-intensive societies will cause the deaths of an estimated 100 million people in the next 18 years, according to a report released today that politicians will be paid handsomely to throw away and never think about again. More than 90 percent of those deaths are expected to happen in […]

Hey ladies! How’s your womb? Is it fruitful? No? What about now? Is it fruitful yet? Well are you even TRYING? It is your job to fill your stomach with tiny babies, a Quiver full of babies even, and if you do not want, say, 19 babies, then you are a heathen Communist Chinee. That […]

We wonder if there is anything the Catholic Church could be investigating besides the Girl Scouts of America? NO. There is NOT. Nothing at all, move along, move along! Yes, Mother Church is busy investigating whether it should … well, not sure. Thunder from the pulpit about their evil ways? Discourage parish-based troops? Tell the […]

Why is Ronald Reagan always trying to wage class warfare on executives paying less than their secretaries? Why does he want to punish people for success, by making them pay the same tax rate as a bunch of unemployed losers, like you? Why does Ronald Reagan hate Mitt Romney, and America? Maybe when he was […]

Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller has for our delighted eyes an unimpeachable story explaining why all Democrats are Communists, in the form of a funny quiz! And wait till you get a load of all the terrifying and outrageous and outrageously terrifying things Democrats and Communists say! Like so: 1. “This is the moment when we […]

Uh oh, there is trouble in right-wing-asshole paradise! Look how mad WND is at Ghost Andrew Breitbart for stealing all its shit! This is the sound of a riding glove meeting a soft hairless cheek! Editor’s note: In 2008, WND thoroughly vetted President Obama’s radical background. Many of those original exclusive reports, almost entirely ignored […]

If Florida Representative Allen West says there are 80 Communists in the House, then there are 80 Communists in the House! (Allen West is not talking about your garden-variety Barack Hussein Obama Communists; he is talking about actual members of the Communist Party!) But he leaves unanswered the very important question of WHO THE FUCK […]