Well, that tears it. Cuban Communist nightmare thug Fidel Castro wrote a sympathetic newspaper column about our president, which means that Obama must resign immediately. “The extreme right hates him for being African-American and fights what the president does to improve the deteriorated image of that country,” Castro wrote. Right at this moment, legions of angry wingnuts are printing out this column as definitive proof that garden variety liberal bleeding hearts are in league with Latin American dictators. [Reuters]

Your Wonkette Intern spent a delightful afternoon this past Tuesday with famed Obama apostle Howard Dean, who preached the Health Care gospel and even cured leprosy with his gentle touch. The sermon was hosted by none other than Kremlin subsidiary Campus Progress — surprise, surprise! MORE »

Man, our Monday news is just such a bummer! You got your lost French airliner, your dead abortion doctor, a venerable car-maker going bankrupt, and now the Republicans have quit shouting “racist bigot” at the nation’s first Hispanic Supreme Court nominee, so there is pretty much nothing fun or funny to talk about today. Thankfully, Bill Kristol is still around for laughs. MORE »

Those who listen to the elitist Chicago street organizer public-radio program Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me got a special treat this weekend, as Barack Obama’s personal Rasputin, David Axelrod, appeared on the show to describe how much this Socialist White House hates our nation’s fake-breasted gay-hating soft-porn models. [NewsPoliticsNews/NPR]

Whoa, a black person on Sesame Street! They were not kidding, about the change. Here is elitist fashion plate Michelle Obama disrespecting our Queen again by saying the best thing she ever did was some kind of fetish play with a red monster which is actually just some terrible carpet with ping pong balls for eyes and a gay dude’s hand up its ass. Exercise, it’s what’s for dinner, fat America! [YouTube]

DC is like the annoying little sister of decent American cities, hopping around from foot to foot and whining to bigger, fancier New York and San Francisco that it, too, can have big concerts and movie stars and such. And sometimes, it can! MORE »

A wingnut jesus-freak lady from our favorite online newspaper, World Net Daily, would like to share something with you — something she withheld from the American Public throughout the presidential campaign, even though she knew it was true, because she got some forwarded email saying it was true: At a business dinner in 1992, some Russian capitalist’s wife said the Communists had picked a new American president, a black guy from Hawaii/Africa named Barack! MORE »

Look at this creep, with his terrorist beard. His name is legion, or “Sinter Klass,” which means Karl Marx, because this is a photograph of the grave of the unrepentant Marxist, Karl Marx. Even his name is Marxist. An Australian person has written these words: “First, Father Christmas is a dead ringer for the Father of Communism. Second, he dresses top-to-bottom in red! Third, the whole idea of Father Christmas reindeering and sleighing around the world with a giant sack full of presents shrieks of commie propaganda.” [Australian]

Having lost pretty much everything else, forever, the wingnuts have focused all of their intellectual firepower on a single foolproof argument: Barack Obama cannot be president, because they say he’s a scary African. Somehow this important issue has come before the United States Supreme Court, twice! And so far, our communist Highest Court has refused to even consider the crucial situation! Today, the justices again spit on the legal efforts of Real Americans. MORE »

Surprise, surprise: The soviet-muslin Barack Obama has chosen his fancy tuxedo for inauguration day, and it’s coming from the socialist union workers at Hart Schaffner Marx. It will supposedly be Obama’s first new tuxedo in fifteen years. What, you don’t have your own tailored formal wear that you modestly replace every fifteen years? The happy haberdashery is already showing off by offering to make even humble slobs like yourself look “presidential,” if you have a great deal of money, which you don’t, because of the Depression. [Women's Wear Daily]

Did you know that Barack Obama is packing his economic advisory team with known communist associates? It’s true! Larry Summers, Obama’s likely head of the National Economic Council, had to resign from the presidency of Harvard University in 2006 for the grievous crime of being an asshole. After that he went to work part-time for the D.E. Shaw Group, a big fancy hedge fund run by intellectuals. D.E. Shaw “was founded in a small office over a communist bookstore in New York’s Greenwich Village in 1988.” COMMUNISTS EVERYWHERES, Q.E.D. When will Barack Obama apologize for this latest unseemly association? (Thank you, Thomas, for the tip!) [Wall Street Journal]