Tag: communists

Obama Announces Candidacy For President Of Cuba

Technically-still-President Barack Obama took his family on a vacay to Cuba, to see its famous cigars and smoke its famous sights and make Cuban-Canadian-Texan-Spunkface Ted Cruz real mad about it. Oh, and to try to further normalize relations with Cuba...
DON'T BELIEVE HIM BO.

Oh No, Barack Obama Is Going To Do The Puppy Holocaust Now, For Allah!

You know that thing during the Super Bowl, where there is the Puppy Bowl for all the girls and homosexuals who are only there for the spiked punch? And know how, as per Mike Huckabee, Obama is doing the...
Awww the poor thing, get him a benedict immediately.

It’s Sunday Funday, Let’s All Have Brunch And Gossip About The Week’s Top Stories!

Good Sunday afternoon, Wonkers! What are you all doing? We are writing this post! Let's sit together and drink adult beverages while we gossip about all the nice things we wrote this week. Was it all about Rand Paul? MOSTLY! But first,...

You’ll Never Guess Who Fox News Thinks Is Guilty Of Terrorisming The United States Of Paris

Wimpy tyrant dictator doormat Obama is refusing to call the terrorist attack in Paris a terrorist attack -- except for how he did do that -- but the omnipotent experts at Fox "News" know better. Not only was it...

Uh Oh, Joe Scarborough Is A Communist Now

What even the fuck, "Joe" Scarborough? We thought we could count on you to be our sexy douchey conservadaddy (shut up wonkers), and it turns out you are just another emoprog #Occupy communist pansy whining about income inequality and...

Bill De Blasio Sworn In As New York City Mayor, Promises A Banker’s Head In Every Pot

Many of you were probably too hung over on Wednesday to remember that it was the day Bill de Blasio was inaugurated as mayor of New York City. It was a wonderful and festive day, though perhaps tinged with...

Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Trashy Racist Bitchsluts Need To Say ‘Merry Christmas’ Or Else

Looks like it's time for another trip to the ol' comment queue, that purgatory where comments submitted by new users must cool off until we deem them worthy of inclusion in the Wonkette Community (bribery can help). Our first...

Wingnut Radio Preacher Kevin Swanson Begs You To Boycott Girl Scouts And Their Commie Lesbo Abortion Cookies

One of our favorite wingnuts, unhinged radio* panic-man Kevin Swanson, who gave us the science facts about tiny dead babies inside the wombs of women using the pill and how Mark Twain was possessed by demons, now has something...

Victoria Jackson Only Half As Crazy As Fox Made Her Look, Still Pretty Crazy

Hey, remember how we were yukking it up yesterday about Victoria Jackson's very strange appearance on Bill O'Reilly's Television Freakshow, where she talked about how she's worried that communists are going to kill her and all Christians? WELL! In...

Texas Dingbat Ted Cruz Will Explain At You That Harvard Law Is Full of Government-Overthrowing Communists

Have you met Ted Cruz yet? He is the new face of crazy for the Republican party, and boy does he have it all -- the smug countenance of Paul Ryan! The poise of Joe McCarthy! And the batshit crazy...

If You Notice That $9 Is More Than $7.25, Are You A Communist?

In Tuesday's State of the Union address, President Obama pointed out that you can work for 40 hours a week at minimum wage and still live in squalid poverty, and suggested that we raise it from $7.25 to $9...

Social Security Administration to Employee: Who Farted?

Look at poor, downtrodden you, just browsing Reddit to get through the day in your cubicle at some "private" company, where you aren't offered the competitive salary, benefits, and rights to complain as those posh government workers in equivalent...

Climate Change Will Kill Pretty Much Everyone, Says Report About To Be Ignored

Climate change and contributing factors from carbon-intensive societies will cause the deaths of an estimated 100 million people in the next 18 years, according to a report released today that politicians will be paid handsomely to throw away and...

American Birth Control Mandate To Lead To Communist Chinese One-Child Policy! Everybody Panic!

Hey ladies! How's your womb? Is it fruitful? No? What about now? Is it fruitful yet? Well are you even TRYING? It is your job to fill your stomach with tiny babies, a Quiver full of babies even, and...

Catholic Church Investigating New Threat To Humanity: The Girl Scouts

We wonder if there is anything the Catholic Church could be investigating besides the Girl Scouts of America? NO. There is NOT. Nothing at all, move along, move along! Yes, Mother Church is busy investigating whether it should ......