Tag Archives: communism

  The Purple Prose of Texas

Wingnuts Furious: Texas Kids Design Imaginary Flags For Nonexistent Pretend Socialist Nation

Pity the poor children of Texas. Not only do they have to live in a state full of Texans, but many of them are at high risk of growing up to be Texans, too. Oh, and on top of that, they are constantly being bombarded by communist propaganda in their Texan-run schools, because apparently only communists get Texas teaching credentials. Thankfully, Texas Patriots have access to the Interwebs, and so they can expose the government schools for what they are: indoctrination factories brainwashing innocent children with the UN’s communist, pro-Muslim Agenda 21, with its FEMA Camps and bicycle paths. The latest dispatch from the culture war is a doozy, because it involves 6th graders being ordered — at Barack Obama’s behest, of course — to “design flags for a new socialist nation.” Clearly, this exercise in which children must think of a flag other than Old Glory can only be sinister. After all, this is the very same online curriculum that was previously investigated for signs of Muslim Bias! (And, OK, was found to actually be biased toward Christianity.) Read more on Wingnuts Furious: Texas Kids Design Imaginary Flags For Nonexistent Pretend Socialist Nation…
  Part 23: Glasnost Half Empty

Sundays With the Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Neither Trusts Nor Verifies

As we’ve mentioned now and then, our 10th-grade homeschooling textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, is very much a product of the Reagan era; even though its most recent version was published in 2010, it maintains the aggrieved tone of the Moral Majority types who helped Reagan come to power. There are some changes; for instance, the longish section on Grenada we discussed last week is down to a short paragraph (which still insists that the island was definitely going to be used as a base for a Cuban invasion of South America). Mostly, though, the textbook still allows us to see the world through a Cold War lens — even when it talks about the collapse of the Soviet Union. Read more on Sundays With the Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Neither Trusts Nor Verifies…
  Part 22: We Begin Bombing In Five Minutes

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Spins One For The Gipper

One of the nifty things about World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, is that the editors do not suffer from any uncertainty about anything. None of that nonsense about differing opinions and disagreements among scholars here — things are on God’s side or are evidence of depravity, and it goes without saying that only conservative politics are on God’s side. Needless to say, the editors find a lot to admire in Ronald Reagan. (Which reminds us — we need a little mood music if we’re going to talk about ol’ Ronnie.) We’ll wrap up the book’s look at the Cold War by spending this week and next with the man whose understanding of history was every bit as accurate as the editors’. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Spins One For The Gipper…
  Part 21: The Dumbino Theory

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Loves The Smell Of Napalm In the Morning

Well, here we are, humping the boonies of the Culture Wars, and one of the Things We Carry is our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. We know we promised we’d get to Ronald Reagan singlehandedly knocking over the Berlin Wall this week, but there’s just so much Cold War to cover that we’ll just have to wait another week while we get through some of the delightful proxy wars of the late 20th Century. And of course, let’s not forget to blame The Liberal Media for the sixties! Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Loves The Smell Of Napalm In the Morning…
  Part 20: More Red 'Bating

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That’s Better Dead Than Read

Fasten your seatbelts, Time Tourists, because this week, our visit to the world as seen through a 10th-grade evangelical textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, will continue our whirlwind tour through the MADcap world of the Cold War (Spoiler: Reagan wins it through deficit spending and yelling at a wall). Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That’s Better Dead Than Read…
  al gebra al jazeera same diff

Fox’s ‘The Five': Algebra Is Liberal Terrorism

We don’t know how Eric Bolling, of Fox braintrust “The Five,” managed to talk about liberal indoctrination with math without even bothering to note that algebra was invented by A-RABS and is a Mooslem plot. But at least he is on the case of the Marxists at Scholastic teaching the distributive property with a worksheet about distributing the wealth. GO SCHOLASTIC! Read more on Fox’s ‘The Five': Algebra Is Liberal Terrorism…
  Part 19: Blecch in the USSR

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Protect Homeschooled Darlings From The Big Mean U.N.

Be of good cheer, intrepid Wonketteers! We are very nearly finished with our 10th-grade textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, which means that very soon, Saint Reagan and Jesus will come to take us home! (That, or we’ll delve into a sex ed book from the same publisher.) Last week, we polished off World War II, so this week, it’s time for the bestest clash of civilizations evar, the Cold War. So dust off your Civil Defense helmet, hunker down in your fallout shelter, and learn to love The Bomb! But first, a word about the United Nations, which is both a “colossal failure” and the “foundation for a totalitarian, one-world government.” Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Protect Homeschooled Darlings From The Big Mean U.N….
  commies under the bed

Sundays With the Christianists: A Cold War “World History” Textbook For Your Fallout Shelter / Homeschool

If you’re feeling nostalgic for the Cold War, you could do worse than to grab a copy of our 10th-grade text, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, which presents communism as an ongoing threat right now, today. As we mentioned last week, we’ve finally gotten a copy of the 2010 revision of the book, and you’ll be delighted to know that it is still every bit as Red Scared as the 1997 edition we’ve been using for this series up until now.* Like the 1997 edition, the lengthy chapter on the evils of communism presents it as a present threat that might set international dominoes toppling at any moment. This week, we’ll wrap up our look at the Red Menace with a couple of sidebar sections which explain, just in case the main text hasn’t made the point, why communism is very, very bad indeed. The first is an essay titled “Communism: A Negative System,” which informs us that Communism is a totally negative system — a denial of all that is true, righteous, and good. In its suppression of the higher aspects of man’s character, it unleashes the beastly aspects — the utterly sinful nature — of man. Golly! Say what you will about the tenets of national socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos! Read more on Sundays With the Christianists: A Cold War “World History” Textbook For Your Fallout Shelter / Homeschool…
  Part 10: Did We Mention That They Really Don't Like Marx?

Sundays With The Christianists: This ‘World History’ Textbook Is The Opiate Of The Homeschooled Masses

Welcome, Comrades! We’re still making our way through the “we really don’t like communism” chapter of our 10th-grade textbook for Christian schools, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. So pour a nice glass of Victory Gin, hum the Internationale, and we’ll visit History’s Greatest Monsters, your Godless Commies. Now, last week, we found out that communism is just the worst thing ever! This week, we learn that your Commie has no regard for human life, not even of his own. For this reason the textbook wants to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness. It’s really sort of endearing just how much the editors want to make clear that Karl Marx was a bad, bad man motivated by, as they put it, “a violent hatred for God and humanity.” Because really, isn’t the study of history primarily about identifying who the Good Guys were and proving that the Bad Guys were cartoon supervillains? Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: This ‘World History’ Textbook Is The Opiate Of The Homeschooled Masses…
  Part 9: Marxy Marx & the Fundie Bunch

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Redistributes Reality To Home-Schooled Children

So now that we’re well into the nineteenth century with our hilarious 10th-grade textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, we’re getting to some of the pivotal Bad Guys from the editors’ closetful of nightmare boogiemen. Last week it was Charles Darwin and a collection of terrifying Victorian philosophers who advocated such radical notions as benevolence to the poors. This week, we’ll be tackling the monster that scares the editors more than science, maybe even more than the Pope: Godless Communism! And by this, we mean actual communism, not just all of the little bits of social reform that these nimrods also like to call “communism.” It is worth noting that, by the time this edition of the textbook was published, in 1997, the USSR and Eastern Bloc had already fallen, China’s economy was solidly capitalist, and the remaining countries that could be called “communist” could be counted on one hand. So of course, World History presents communism as the single greatest threat to freedom in the world, because after all, the UN still exists. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Redistributes Reality To Home-Schooled Children…
  heaven heaven is a place

Bob Dole A Total Communist Now, Apparently

Here is a nice remembrance of George McGovern from his friend, Bob Dole. (“BOB DOLE!”) It is one of those pieces where old men talk about how things were so much better in their day, when after a long work sesh, Tip O’Neill and Ronald Reagan would get together, drink some Cosmos, and go bum-hunting. That’s all well and good. Those hoboes aren’t going to chase down and murder themselves! But buried in Dole’s opinion-editorial whatsit is some disturbing news for Republicans: not only did Bob Dole (“BOB DOLE!”) not try to murder the last living liberal, George McGovern, when he had the chance, but there used to be Republicans who tried to expand food stamps and school lunch. How will today’s GOP go on, knowing that it is descended from Kenyan anticolonial socialist Ho Chi Minhs? Read more on Bob Dole A Total Communist Now, Apparently…
  no apologies

Mitt Romney More Reaganesque Than Previously Realized

Reaganesque? Ol’ Mittens? The Man With the Golden Tongue? Sure, he’s got the hair, and the complete lack of devotion to anything resembling fact or verifiable truth, but really, Reaganesque? Yes, Mitt Romney is “Reaganesque,” by which we mean “balls-deep in murdering nuns and Latin American death squads.” Read more on Mitt Romney More Reaganesque Than Previously Realized…
  soshulizm also too

Why Didn’t Obama Let Invisible Hand Of Free Market Protect Joplin From Deadly Tornado?

President Yo Mama has done another terrible thing, Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller cannot even BELIEVE IT! He went to Joplin, Missouri, the town that was creamed a year ago by a super tornado caused by the totally stable climate, and he gave the high school’s commencement address and said a bunch of terrible, partisan SOCIALISM like that in a crisis people should take care of each other and not be greedy! What Bible is HE reading? The MUSLIM ONE? Let Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller nourish your rage in its wonderful “Obama Pushes Progressive ‘Community’ Ideology At Mo. High School Commencement”! “Community”? At last Nobama, have you NO SHAME? President Barack Obama’s high school commencement speech in the tornado-stricken town of Joplin, Mo., pushed a sharply ideological message and included partisan jabs and a call for military-style community action during crises. “You are from America. No matter how tough times get, you will be tougher,” he told the students and parents May 22. “The road has been hard. The day has been long. But we have tomorrow, so we march. We march together,” he said on the first anniversary of the deadly tornado strike. Read more on Why Didn’t Obama Let Invisible Hand Of Free Market Protect Joplin From Deadly Tornado?…
  ain't gonna hunt with no assholes

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker Appoints ‘Deer Czar’ Who Says Deer-Hunting Is Communist

If there is one thing Wisconsinites love, we are told, it is murdering poor defenseless Bambi with a gun. Democrats love shooting Bambi, Republicans love shooting Bambi, independents and children and cripples and ladies and men all LURVE killing them some deer. Sometimes for food, sometimes to preserve their public lands from deer overpopulation, sometimes to have dominion over all God’s beasts or something. This is the most bipartisan thing there could possibly be, in Wisconsin. So what did hero Governor Scott Walker do? He appointed as the state’s “deer czar” one Dr. James Kroll, who thinks public management of public lands is “the last bastion of Communism.” Better dead then red, derp! The public lands Kroll despises include the state parks, state and national forests, and other publicly held property that hundreds of thousands of Wisconsinites—particularly in the northern part of the state—rely on for deer hunting. Hunters on public land may be surprised to discover that Walker regards their annual trek into a state forest as a radical left wing activity akin to marching in a May Day parade in Red Square. But so it is. If Kroll gets his way, public land hunters will get the shaft. The deer herd no longer would be managed as a public resource, but as the private property of wealthy landowners. Wisconsin will become like Europe, where hunting is the privilege of the wealthy. Read more on Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker Appoints ‘Deer Czar’ Who Says Deer-Hunting Is Communist…
  everyone hates congress

‘U.S. Going Communist’ Now Much More Popular Than U.S. Congress

At a certain point, when something is unpopular enough, it is eradicated. And yet, the U.S. Congress continues to exist! Here is a new poll in the Washington Post that proves the American Houses of “Representative Government” have a nationwide approval rating of 9 percent. Guess what’s more popular than the U.S. Congress? Well, a healthy 11 percent support the overturning of the corrupt American system of capitalist-welfare government and replacing it with Communism. That’s more popular than Congress. Read more on ‘U.S. Going Communist’ Now Much More Popular Than U.S. Congress…
  great foreign policy experts of our time

Michele Bachmann Is Completely Unaware That China Is Communist

Blathering reject Michele Bachmann showed off her fancy foreign policy knowledge at Saturday’s dull GOP debate by noting that the real capitalists over there in China don’t give out food stamps according to her expert sources (Space Lizard Jeebus), which is why they are kicking America’s socialist economy in the ass. Why can’t America be as capitalist as China? Read more on Michele Bachmann Is Completely Unaware That China Is Communist…
  (grifter) evolution is real

Why Is Sarah Palin a Crazy Liberal Communist Now All of a Sudden?

BUT WHO WILL FIGHT THE GREEDY CORPORATE PIGS RUNNING THE COUNTRY? Haha, you thought, “the Wall Street protesters.” WRONG. “Sarah Palin” is the correct answer, ever since the five or so seconds ago when she vaguely tuned into the fact that the withered teat of her ruthless teabagger fearmongering is drying up, so she must find some other popular cause to exploit. Here is Sarah “Trotsky 2.0″ Palin speaking out against the American kleptocracy from the seat of its tyrannical rule at some random forum in South Korea: “Today, in my country, particularly in the last few years, a new seductive idea has come on the scene. It involves the growing collaboration between big business, big finance, big government and big union bosses.” Ha ha, kind of! Polls show that 145% of sane people would not characterize this phenomenon as either “new” or “seductive,” but that’s Sarah Palin for you, always with her finger on the pulse of America! Read more on Why Is Sarah Palin a Crazy Liberal Communist Now All of a Sudden?…
  teabagger poetry

Minnesota State Legislator Email Compares Unions With Hitler, Castro

Taking the peg up a notch in Scott-Walker-style ire toward constituents, Minnesota State Rep. Tom Hackbarth (R-Cedar) did not like an email he got from a unionized constituent asking him not to vote for massive budget cuts that would affect Minnesota families. So he dashed off a reply letter containing an illiterate revisionist history lesson of sorts demanding to both know how this voter gets her propaganda and telling her that unions are communist, Hitler blamed the Jews and Castro blamed the rich people, and they both killed people. It could also have been someone using Hackbarth’s account, but the representative will not respond to anybody asking him, “what the hell was that?” The proposed budget cuts are a tense issue currently leading the state toward a government shutdown, which makes us excited to see what sort of stone cold insanity comes out of the federal budget fight later this year. Read more on Minnesota State Legislator Email Compares Unions With Hitler, Castro…
  next teabagger coloring book

Fun New WND Accusation: Obama Rapes College Girls

What happens when you’ve used up all the worst things you can think to say about the president of the United States — for example, that he’s an African Nazi communist who is seconds away from murdering every American citizen? You have to go in a horizontal direction to look for interesting new ways to make him out to be the worst human being ever. That’s the mission of WorldNetDaily, for the rest of Barack Obama’s presidency — and it’s a patriotic duty they take very seriously. So how about this: Obama is a “frat boy” who has lured the sorority-girl American public into his bed with alcohol and roofies and is now raping us and ripping apart our bodily tissues? And like all rape “victims,” it’s actually our fault. Read more on Fun New WND Accusation: Obama Rapes College Girls…
  hegemony isn't free

China Surpasses United States In Most Important Indicator of Power

This morning you took a gasoline shower, ate a coal donut, and went off to work in your Hummer thinking your country was safely ranked #1 in the world. YOU THOUGHT WRONG. It turns out China is now tops when it comes to consuming the world’s energy, which is our most important job as Americans. How will we tell our children that the United States now burns less energy than Red China? Read more on China Surpasses United States In Most Important Indicator of Power…
  he always has

Obama Now Sails Under The Flag Of Commie Red China

Treachery! The wingnuts have a new thing to type about: “We now have solid confirmation that the communist government of China did in fact raise their flag above Washington, DC for the first time this past Sunday, September 20, 2009.” Obama, OPEN YOUR EYES! “The communist government of China now owns a great deal of US debt and factions of their military threaten to launch a nuclear strike against the United States over possible conflicts involving our allies in Taiwan. They used to only be able to threaten to destroy the west coast of America, but due to the theft of our two stage missile technology, during the Clinton administration, China now has the nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons and delivery systems to attack every major city in the United States.” These strikes will of course happen tonight, during Jay Leno or whatever, because of the flag thing. [WorldNetDaily, ALIPAC] Read more on Obama Now Sails Under The Flag Of Commie Red China…
  they just want to eat their lunch on time

Weiner Beseiged By Hungry, Cranky Olds

Well, it appears we have an answer to this morning’s burning question. The answer is: violent, insane mobs have overtaken every single political forum in the country — including one held at Brooklyn seniors’ center, where Rep. Anthony Weiner was nearly eated alive by a churlish group of anti-Communist mummies. Read more on Weiner Beseiged By Hungry, Cranky Olds…