Tag Archives: communism

  a little knowledge

Bradlee Dean Makes Up History Again, Says Dirty Commies Invented The Word ‘Racism’ So There’s No Such Thing

Wonkette frenemy and weird child-thrashing advocate Bradlee Dean just wants you all to know that he is not bothered by all you dumb liberal bigots calling him a bigot, and he has studied up on these matters. On his podcast last weekend, Dean explained that he is rubber and you are glue, because Leon Trotsky made up the word “racism” to smear anyone who is not a communist. That is just plain science and history, and there is no disputing it, unless maybe you do some research, which could take entire minutes. Read more on Bradlee Dean Makes Up History Again, Says Dirty Commies Invented The Word ‘Racism’ So There’s No Such Thing…
  how stuff works

Capitalist Running Dogs Rand Paul And Alan Greenspan Will Teach You Dumb Liberals About Capitalism

Gosh, we are such dumb liberals! We thought we knew all about capitalism, an economic system most of us have lived with our entire lives. We thought we knew all about private ownership, and free markets, and the commodification of labor, and investment, and consumption, and all that jazz! And we thought we knew about the externalities like pollution and poverty and political corruption that come from capitalism, and how they are bad. So dumb! So liberal! Ugh, we disgust ourselves. Thank heavens there are men like Rand Paul and Alan Greenspan to set us straight. Open wide, dumb liberals, because here is Rand Paul on Hannity to regurgitate Economy Facts about Obamacare into your hungry gullets: Read more on Capitalist Running Dogs Rand Paul And Alan Greenspan Will Teach You Dumb Liberals About Capitalism…
  oh him again

Glenn Beck Exposes Obama’s Sinister Plot: WWII Memorial Closure First Step Toward Shooting Everyone Dead

Glenn Beck has this whole government shutdown thing figured out: unlike every other government shutdown that resulted in Washington DC museums and monuments being closed to the public, this shutdown is actually the first phase of a Marxist Communist revolution being plotted by a cabal of “Marxist revolutionaries” who have cleverly calculated Marxist Communist ways to “inflict the most pain” on all Americans. If you need proof, said Beck, just look at the World War II Memorial, which is not only closed, but actually has “armed guards around it.” “I want you to understand you are now seeing what I told you about three weeks ago. I told you they have gone from nudge to shove … Your next step is shoot.” Beck left out the minor detail that WWII veterans are being allowed to enter the memorial, because why would Marxist revolutionaries allow something like that? Read more on Glenn Beck Exposes Obama’s Sinister Plot: WWII Memorial Closure First Step Toward Shooting Everyone Dead…
  help help he's being oppressed

Catholic Bishop Explains How The Church Has Handled That Sexual Abuse Thingy Quite Nicely, Thanks

We know you people have not approved of our recurring NewPopeNiceTime feature, but we do not care. However, we’ll throw you a bone today and talk about how really super terrible one Bishop Thomas Paprocki of Illinois is on account of how he thinks that we’re gonna close all the churches because of being all pagan now and because the Catholic Church has handled the sexual abuse scandal pretty much better than anyone else would, yep yep. Read more on Catholic Bishop Explains How The Church Has Handled That Sexual Abuse Thingy Quite Nicely, Thanks…
  luntz it up

Rick Santorum Does Not Care For Your ‘Marxism Talk’ About ‘The Middle Class,’ Which Does Not Exist

Why is Rick Santorum still talking, and more importantly, why is anyone still interested in hearing him talk, given that he holds no office and everyone wishes he’d go away? Your Wonkette does not have the answer to these questions, but we DO have a video of him referring to any discussion of the middle class as “Marxism talk” at a speech he made in Iowa for some reason. This presumably only refers to Obama’s use of the term “middle class,” seeing as Santorum’s old presidential campaign website contains a page titled “Santorum hopes to rebuild middle class.” But anyway, yes, “middle class” is “Marxism talk,” let us learn about why! Read more on Rick Santorum Does Not Care For Your ‘Marxism Talk’ About ‘The Middle Class,’ Which Does Not Exist…
  slavery is freedom

Ted Cruz’s Dad Seems Nice

Hey, remember Ted Cruz’s Jerk Baby? She was fun! We dug her! Well, move over, Jerk Baby, you are now officially the Chillest Member of Ted Cruz’s Family Of Funtimes Friends. Here is Ted Cruz’s dad, via the Des Moines Register, blah blah blahing about Fidel Castro and stuff, and how Barack Obama is Castro times Stalin plus Dorothy Day probably. But then he gets unboring and starts a-whoopin’ and a-frothin’ like he is Rick Santorum’s dad instead of the Canadian Anchor Babby’s! Read more on Ted Cruz’s Dad Seems Nice…
  communists under the bed

Commies at ‘Business Insider’ Just Cold Destroying Capitalism Now

How wonderful, the last time we checked in with Business Insider they were running articles on how you are not a winner if you want to see your wife and kids every so often, but now they are run by a bona fide Commie! Yes! A Commie! The Commie, one Henry Blodget, is complaining about late capitalism and all of its foundational premises: specifically, that businesses have a legal obligation to maximize shareholder value at the expense of, oh, worker quality of life, community well being, and basically the entire economy: One of the big reasons the U.S. economy is so lousy is that big American companies are hoarding cash and “maximizing profits” instead of investing in their people and future projects. This behavior is contributing to record income inequality in the country and starving the primary engine of U.S. economic growth — the vast American middle class — of purchasing power. Ha ha ha, we no longer have a middle class, so the joke is on you! Read more on Commies at ‘Business Insider’ Just Cold Destroying Capitalism Now…
  and liberty and death panels for all

Point: Obamacare Is Awesome! Counterpoint: Yes It Is!

Good afternoon. We come together in solemnity on this solemn Memorial Day of solemnitude to rap at ya about Obamacare, and how it will kill you dead … WITH GREAT PRICES! Taking the Point that Obamacare is awesome, because “California,” will be your Editrix. Taking the Counterpoint that Yes it is, even though he lives in Idaho and presumably will be saved from sipping the sweet deadly nectar of fascism, will be your Doktor Zoom. LET’S GET READY TO RUMMMMMMBLE!!!1! Read more on Point: Obamacare Is Awesome! Counterpoint: Yes It Is!…
  Socialist Studies

Academic Freedom In Peril: Patriot Teacher Reprimanded For Innocent ‘How Is Obama Just Like Stalin?’ Homework

A social studies teacher at Kell High School in Marietta, Georgia, gave students a brilliant lesson in logical fallacies last week with this homework question in a “current issues” class: Find evidence for a comparison of Lenin/Stalin’s methods of changing Russia from a capitalist country to a command country to Obama’s methods of changing the United States from a capitalist country to a socialist country. For some reason, a number of students and parents complained about the “analytical thinking” assignment to the school’s administration, possibly because they have been brainwashed by leftist university professors. The assignment was withdrawn, and the teacher, a long-term substitute for the regular instructor, was reprimanded but will remain on the job. Her new assignment, which asks students to use science to prove that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Light (show your work), is not expected to cause any problems. Read more on Academic Freedom In Peril: Patriot Teacher Reprimanded For Innocent ‘How Is Obama Just Like Stalin?’ Homework…
  minimum wage

Elizabeth Warren Will Give Us All The Moneys Now

Wait. Did you hear that? That was the sound of us fluttering with delight as we watched Elizabeth Warren at the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor and Pensions hearing while she calmly explained how badly the American people are getting boned. Did you know, for example, that if minimum wage had kept up with the pace of inflation that it would be around $22 by now? Read more on Elizabeth Warren Will Give Us All The Moneys Now…
  Part 24: Good End Times Man

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Book That’s Ready For Apocalypse, Now

Well, time tourists, we have made it to our final visit to our 10th grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. This post will be a bit longish, because there’s a whole lot of crazy to cover between the fall of the USSR and the end of the world, but we want to wrap this book up today so next week we can read some Christianist Sex Ed. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Book That’s Ready For Apocalypse, Now…
  The Purple Prose of Texas

Wingnuts Furious: Texas Kids Design Imaginary Flags For Nonexistent Pretend Socialist Nation

Pity the poor children of Texas. Not only do they have to live in a state full of Texans, but many of them are at high risk of growing up to be Texans, too. Oh, and on top of that, they are constantly being bombarded by communist propaganda in their Texan-run schools, because apparently only communists get Texas teaching credentials. Thankfully, Texas Patriots have access to the Interwebs, and so they can expose the government schools for what they are: indoctrination factories brainwashing innocent children with the UN’s communist, pro-Muslim Agenda 21, with its FEMA Camps and bicycle paths. The latest dispatch from the culture war is a doozy, because it involves 6th graders being ordered — at Barack Obama’s behest, of course — to “design flags for a new socialist nation.” Clearly, this exercise in which children must think of a flag other than Old Glory can only be sinister. After all, this is the very same online curriculum that was previously investigated for signs of Muslim Bias! (And, OK, was found to actually be biased toward Christianity.) Read more on Wingnuts Furious: Texas Kids Design Imaginary Flags For Nonexistent Pretend Socialist Nation…
  Part 23: Glasnost Half Empty

Sundays With the Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Neither Trusts Nor Verifies

As we’ve mentioned now and then, our 10th-grade homeschooling textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, is very much a product of the Reagan era; even though its most recent version was published in 2010, it maintains the aggrieved tone of the Moral Majority types who helped Reagan come to power. There are some changes; for instance, the longish section on Grenada we discussed last week is down to a short paragraph (which still insists that the island was definitely going to be used as a base for a Cuban invasion of South America). Mostly, though, the textbook still allows us to see the world through a Cold War lens — even when it talks about the collapse of the Soviet Union. Read more on Sundays With the Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Neither Trusts Nor Verifies…
  Part 22: We Begin Bombing In Five Minutes

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Spins One For The Gipper

One of the nifty things about World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, is that the editors do not suffer from any uncertainty about anything. None of that nonsense about differing opinions and disagreements among scholars here — things are on God’s side or are evidence of depravity, and it goes without saying that only conservative politics are on God’s side. Needless to say, the editors find a lot to admire in Ronald Reagan. (Which reminds us — we need a little mood music if we’re going to talk about ol’ Ronnie.) We’ll wrap up the book’s look at the Cold War by spending this week and next with the man whose understanding of history was every bit as accurate as the editors’. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Spins One For The Gipper…
  Part 21: The Dumbino Theory

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Loves The Smell Of Napalm In the Morning

Well, here we are, humping the boonies of the Culture Wars, and one of the Things We Carry is our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. We know we promised we’d get to Ronald Reagan singlehandedly knocking over the Berlin Wall this week, but there’s just so much Cold War to cover that we’ll just have to wait another week while we get through some of the delightful proxy wars of the late 20th Century. And of course, let’s not forget to blame The Liberal Media for the sixties! Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Loves The Smell Of Napalm In the Morning…
  Part 20: More Red 'Bating

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That’s Better Dead Than Read

Fasten your seatbelts, Time Tourists, because this week, our visit to the world as seen through a 10th-grade evangelical textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, will continue our whirlwind tour through the MADcap world of the Cold War (Spoiler: Reagan wins it through deficit spending and yelling at a wall). Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That’s Better Dead Than Read…