Tag: communism

Beloved cartoon character Elmer Fudd proclaims it's Rabid Season

Team Of Evils: Jeff Sessions Was Too Racist To Be A Federal Judge, But He Could Be Your Next Attorney General!

Yes, that election happened. And here's your proof that it's not just a bad dream.

What Are Fox News Patriots Saying About Terrible, Horrible America-Hater Colin Kaepernick?

Did you hear Kaepernick is a secret Islamic? Sean Hannity did!
E Plebnista!

Ted Cruz Wishes Public Schools Would Stop Being So Communist

Ted Cruz has a sad about the sorry state of education in these once-great United States of America, and it is that the schools are manufacturing Bolsheviks. The problem, as stated succinctly by Cruz ally and rightwing radio host...
Jane, you igneous slut

Deleted Comments: Demacrats Want To Turn America Into 1944 Socialist Berlin!

Our deleted comments bag is full of the usual colorful array of comments from lackwits, poltroons, and twaddlemongers this week, plus a rare treat: an actual hate email to Yr Editrix, which we'll give pride of place by running...

Oregon Militia Twit Sues America For Being Literally Satan

Haha those Bundy Oregon militia snotweasel dicknose brats finally have something in common with REAL terrorists. Whereas Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda organization liked to think of America as "the Great Satan," militia supporter and "sovereign citizen" Shawna Cox,...
Dear Editor: I have had it up to here with playing second fiddle to a bunch of stupid marshmallow horses...

Deleted Comments: Teen Savant Tells Insane Libtarted Communists, ‘YOUR SICKOS!’

Our Deleted Comments cup fairly runneth over with Derp this week, largely thanks to the efforts of one particularly verbose moron who figured out that once his account was banhammered, he could create a new one. SO CLEVER. All...
Is he even Catholic?

New Pope Tells Congress The State Of The Union Is Insufficiently Communist

New Pope Frank is addressing Congress, even though some of our nation's Very Serious And Good Christian Republicans have insisted New Pope is A Idiot who should keep his nose out of our American bidness, except for the part...
Bernie's on yr tits, winning all yr elections.

Surprise! Americans Love Socialism, Want To Kiss Bernie Sanders Right On His Man-Lips

Is Bernie Sanders going to take away Hillary Clinton's tiara and crown himself King of America, with votes? MAYBE! It turns out that, unlike the 19 Republicans running (one per Duggar child, as the Bible instructs), Sanders is real...
Still empty.

Ben Carson Coulda Killed Bin Laden And Saddam Without Going To War, Just Like JFK Did

Ben Carson made a Dumb again! He was trying and failing, like so many other Republican candidates before him, to answer the question, "would you have invaded Iraq?" To his credit, he said it was a mistake! But he said...
This picture is from Rubio's website. On purpose, apparently.

Marco Rubio WINS THE INTERNET With Announcement For … No He Doesn’t

After hinting oh-so-subtly for days and days that he had a Big Announcement! to make on Monday evening, Marco Rubio made a Big Announcement! He is going to be president (no he's not), but not just any president. He is going...
We're pretty sure there's just not enough red dye for an entire iceberg.

‘Patriots’ Take Credit For Perfectly Routine Removal Of Chinese Flag, Save America From Communism!

Wonkette EXCLUSIVE must cite Wonkette!!! The Wingnuttosphere is full of excited stories about an absolute OUTRAGE that occurred last week, when the flag of COMMUNIST RED CHINA, our sworn enemy and trading partner, was flown in front of the...
Communist par-TAY

Very Smart Children Holding ‘Communist’ Prom To Warm Our Cold Tyrannical Hearts

Turns out conservatives were right. Decades of liberal indoctrination by commie thug teachers have trickled down to the high schools, and now the brainwashed students at Albuquerque's Cottonwood (COMMUNIST!) Classical (COMMUNIST!) Preparatory (COMMUNIST!!!) School have democratically voted, as one...
You just knew this would come out

Victoria Jackson Will Root Out The Muslim Menace (Grover Norquist)

American Hero and unsuccessful county supervisor candidate Victoria Jackson is very concerned about the Muslim Threat in America, of course, and is especially sad to see that even supposed conservatives like Grover Norquist are secretly helping to help Sharia...

Gay-Homo Gun-Grabbing Enviro-Pussy Burrito-Makers ‘Chipotle’ Being Communists Again :(

Sorry, CHIPOTLE. We bet you think you're real "cool" with your big phallic Gay Pride burritos and your fairy-pansy-literary bullshit on your bags, but Ben Shapiro's TRUTHREVOLT is here to lay the SMACKDOWN: you are a bunch of communists,...

Sundays With The Christianists: U.S. History Books That Begin Bombing In Five Minutes

Our Celebration of All Things Reagan continues this week with a look at some of the Gipper's flawless successes in foreign policy, as explained in a couple of popular history books for the private Christian school market. It was...

Gabriel Garcia Marquez Loved Fidel Castro, Time To Burn All Your Copies Of ‘Solitude’

OK, sure, you may have thought that Gabriel García Márquez, who died last week, was a pretty good writer, but the Washington Post's Charles Lane just wants to remind you that García Márquez was also a communist, and entirely...