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You know how Barack Obama’s people have the whole “Fight the Smears” thing, where you copy and paste some text that says, “I’m very disappointed in you, Barack Obama does not worship the Shark God even though he is from Hawaii” and you spam it all over the place? Well, about FOUR MILLION YEARS after the Democrats came up with this crazy idea that they could “harness the power of blogs” or whatever, John McCain’s Internet wizards have finally unveiled their own version called, let’s see, Spread the Word. Because they are Capitalist Pigs, they offer material incentives to their “volunteers,” such as three minutes in heaven with Miss Buffalo Chip in exchange for spamming 4,000 liberal blogs with claptrap. MORE »

You’ve been waiting for it all day, and here it is: your “Tuesday Fun Link.” Today’s link directs you to “Boycott McDonald’s,” an effort from some terrible thing called the American Family Association. Naturally, these people are not boycotting McDonald’s because they are starting diets — on the contrary, we assume they are all fat fucks who continue to patronize the likes of Wendy’s, Burger King, and “Sonic” on a daily basis. They are boycotting McDonald’s because of this: “It is about McDonald’s, as a corporation, refusing to remain neutral in the culture wars. McDonald’s has chosen not to remain neutral but to give the full weight of their corporation to promoting the homosexual agenda, including homosexual marriage.” And GUESS WHAT? This website has a comments section!! MORE »

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This morning, the Associated Press wrote that Hillary would concede the delegate race to Barack Obama tonight, which is very nearly the same thing as “conceding the race.” The Clinton campaign then called this story 100% false and said Hillary won’t be concedin’ nothin’ tonight. And since Hillary’s rabid loyalists are already peeved with the media’s coverage of the campaign, the AP’s little “gambit” here has set off quite a storm on Hillary Clinton’s official “blog,” in the comments. An arbitrary selection of the best comments, after the jump. MORE »

COMMENTERS: WE FEEL YR PAIN! We are aware of the ongoing tragedy, in that many of Wonkette’s loyal, bestest commenters are still locked out of the system, even though they’ve tried to re-register, and did everything as instructed. Hold tight; the tech team is working to fix it, and like Hillary, we shall overcome (these minor technical difficulties). Will post an update as soon as the problems are resolved. Sorry!

According to deep background sources (our commenter “Serolf Divad”), the printing-press laborer who wrote that terrific op-ed about Obama being a Muslim Fundamentalist who will piss on the graves of Ground Zero might really be NYT star Bill Kristol. Think about it.

WE’RE SORRY; HAVE SOME HOPE LIKE WHAT’S HIS NAME! There’s something wrong with the comments. Technical people are thinking about this problem right now, and possibly “fixing code” or whatever. Hang in there! We know it’s Friday and you’ve got so much to say to us, instead of your boring co-workers.

Iowa commenter ChairCrusher breaks important news from the Barry Hussein Obama campaign:

And the caucus food? My Obama Precinct Captain is making giant batches of baklava, only he’s calling it … wait for it … “Baracklava.” It just doesn’t get any dorkier (or more delicious!) than that.

Catering at the Caucuses? [MyDD]

BY MANCHUCANDIDATE: “In 2007 a crack mercenary company was forced to testify in a senate hearing for a crime they did commit. These men promptly escaped from minimal harsh questioning to their NC compound. Today, still paid by the government, they thrive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find the dough to pay for them, maybe you can hire Blackwater.” [Comments]

Oh, hi everybody. A lot of comments have been fun & good & whatever, but a lot of comments have also been painful to read, lately. We need to cull the herd, as it were, and we need your help. Please nominate commenters you want removed from the gene pool, which is closed for cleaning. Thanks and sorry!

I just got back to town. I’ve barely been following the news since Friday morning and I haven’t been reading my email. Please use the comments below to tell me what I’ve missed.

Commenter Hockeymom with an exclusive Bridgegate ‘08 report: I’m just back from the bridge. Worked for one of our esteemed national networks, doing live shots till 2am. Here’s my personal Wonkette report.

This thing is a mess.

The gov of Minnesota just vetoed a transportation bill that would have funded infrastructure repairs to bridges just like this one. This bridge would have still fallen down, but the money in the bill would have gone to repair other bridges around the state. And the roads/bridges in Minnesota are in bad shape. So expect a lot of fingerpointing.

In other news, I’ve found that “Minnesota Nice” is more than just a phrase. The drunks in the background of our 2am liveshots were completely polite and delightful!