NO WE DID NOT BAN YOU (YET): We don’t know what’s going on with the comments, either. But we have our comment boxes again, on our various machines, across this great land. HEADQUARTERS is maybe working on the “can’t comment at Wonkabout” problem? Okay here is a fun challenge: If you can comment, but couldn’t before, please explain what happened, in the comments, and then we’ll have TECH SUPPORT read these comments, the end?

• CAPTION CONTEST WINNER: Okay now DON’T take this personally, because most of our paid-for jokes suck too, but… well maybe the problem was with the picture? Not much to work with? (WHAT WE MEAN IS THAT THE ENTRIES WERE BAD.) So the winner will be working-class hero “jagorev” for ecstatically outing himself as a fan of this nerdy little nerd sport, whack-a-mole: “OMG, as a cricket fan myself, I feel like Barry just touched me in my special place (the guy with him, Brian Lara, is one of history’s greatest cricketers). This is what it must have felt like for basketball fans when he nailed that three pointer.” GET A JOB, JAGOREV.

As some of you pointed out, the comments thread on that Fishbowl DC post we just linked to has some the best punditry we’ve seen the election. At least 75% of them make some scathing reference to the fact that Barack Obama uses teleprompters to deliver prepared speeches, like all Presidents and leaders and speakers have done since the invention of teleprompters and before that, when they read speeches from paper. There is literally no way that someone using a teleprompter to deliver a speech can be construed as controversial. Ha. But did you also know that pretty boy over there in the White House also wears “shoes” on his feet, like a retarded pussy? CAN’T HANDLE THE TERRAIN ON YOUR BARE FEET, HUSSEIN? [FishbowlDC]

So we checked out our “competitor,” the Confluence blog, and, as many of you have already discovered… it’s a PUMA site! They have a post called, “An Interview with Harriet Christian, NY Senate Seat Contender.” Oh man. Welcome to our radar, Confluence! [The Confluence]

At some point in recent Internet history, the Chicago Sun-Times gave its famous film critic Roger Ebert a film blog, to write about film. Well fuck film! Now he just writes hilarious geopolitical rants next to pictures of triangles and octagons, like all bloggers. MORE »

We read somewhere, here, that Obama’s transition website, Change.gov, was getting pretty Internettish these days. This is Obama’s thing, he does it all the time: using standard Internet crap — stuff that other politicians somehow haven’t discovered — to help his readers connect and engage one another on the issues important to them (and possibly sometimes donate $$$$…) (and also maybe plan to fuck in a motel.) This is all to say that Change.gov suddenly looks a lot like Fark or Digg — long comment threads where you can “tell Obama” your thoughts and respond to each other and even rate each other’s comments. So we headed over there to witness the hilarity one sees on every Internet comment board in the world. But as with all things “Obama,” the discussion is well-written, informed, polite… it is terrifying. This is not the Real American Internet. MORE »

SAD COMMENTERS PLZ TRY AGAIN! Are you one of the unlucky people who never got your new commenter account working? Try again now! Some kind of secret fix has been done by the Experts somewhere. Thanks, and sorry.

You know how Barack Obama’s people have the whole “Fight the Smears” thing, where you copy and paste some text that says, “I’m very disappointed in you, Barack Obama does not worship the Shark God even though he is from Hawaii” and you spam it all over the place? Well, about FOUR MILLION YEARS after the Democrats came up with this crazy idea that they could “harness the power of blogs” or whatever, John McCain’s Internet wizards have finally unveiled their own version called, let’s see, Spread the Word. Because they are Capitalist Pigs, they offer material incentives to their “volunteers,” such as three minutes in heaven with Miss Buffalo Chip in exchange for spamming 4,000 liberal blogs with claptrap. MORE »

COMMENT OF THE DAY: “I remember when Batman told everyone to go shopping and to fly more to fight the Joker. Also, when he gave up golf for a few weeks. That was so brave to do, in this time of terror and war.” [George W. Bush Is Exactly Like Batman]

You’ve been waiting for it all day, and here it is: your “Tuesday Fun Link.” Today’s link directs you to “Boycott McDonald’s,” an effort from some terrible thing called the American Family Association. Naturally, these people are not boycotting McDonald’s because they are starting diets — on the contrary, we assume they are all fat fucks who continue to patronize the likes of Wendy’s, Burger King, and “Sonic” on a daily basis. They are boycotting McDonald’s because of this: “It is about McDonald’s, as a corporation, refusing to remain neutral in the culture wars. McDonald’s has chosen not to remain neutral but to give the full weight of their corporation to promoting the homosexual agenda, including homosexual marriage.” And GUESS WHAT? This website has a comments section!! MORE »

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