• Matthew Yglesias writes in earnest about McDonald’s policy. [Matt Yglesias]
• The Obama Administration loves to have sex with minors. RedState knows this is true, because Whoopee Goldberg said something on teevee and also isn’t it obvious? Q.E.D., Amen. [RedState]
• Delicious Mustache Ride John Bolton admits that some people are normal and straight like him, and other people are weird and kinda gay, and if they don’t feel bad about not being normal and straight, that’s okay, he guesses. [Think Progress]
• Andrew Sullivan will protect your children from the Obama Administration. Bless him. [The Daily Dish]
• Barack Obama guest stars in a new (?) comic book, with a big-boobed anime jet rocket robot stripper lady villain. [Weekly Standard]

Here’s what’s happening: a bunch of hippies inspired by the Nobama campaign are giving up consulting and corporate law to become Progressive Activists and Organizers, at least until the recession passes. They are enrolled in something called “New Organizing Institute Boot Camp” and, for Training, have been holding a mock election for DC mayor — young progressives nationwide care about DC zoning issues more than anything else — all week. It took us several days to understand this, as these e-mails with subject “Endorse the Green Lantern for DC Mayor” and such kept evading our spam filters. So with voting ending at 6, tonight, let’s make an “informed” endorsement! MORE »

The crazed baby-farming, Bush-groping McCarthyite fluorescent light bulb evangelist Michele Bachmann captures the imaginations of liberals and artists alike. How, they wonder, can somebody be so nuts without very publicly nurturing an addiction to high-strength prescription meds? MORE »

Who is that mysterious black person in a business suit who looks absolutely nothing like Barack Obama, your new president? It’s COMIC-BOOK Barack Obama, that’s who! Jesus fucking christ, could Marvel Comics maybe hire somebody who can maybe draw something vaguely resembling the president-elect, rather than “random negro dude in a suit who also seems to have neck tumors”? [USA Today]

Having decided that’s it’s just not funny anymore to have a heroic character called “Captain America,” Marvel Comics has killed off the famed comic-book “super soldier.” Created in the 1940s as a cartoon foe of Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan, the Captain has had some hard times. Nobody loves America and we aren’t exactly winning wars these days. Read the whole sad story, after the jump.

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Popular newspaper summarizing and Milbank enabling website Slate has the perfect accessory for your coffee table or the coffee table of a loved one: “9/11: The Comic Book.” This totally useful and non-exploitative 5-year anniversary cash-in will finally answer such burning, unresolved 9/11 questions as:

• Would Batman have been able to prevent the events of 9/11 if he hadn’t been encumbered by bureaucratic red tape?

• Is it true tower 7 was actually felled by Mr. Mxyzptlk?
• Was the colossally inept response by NORAD somehow Jughead’s fault?
• So, wait, are the mice Jews, or firefighters, or what?
• Is the sound of America’s loss of innocence more of a “fwoosh” or a “tssssssssssss…”?

Bonus: See a sneak preview panel of the graphic novelization, after the jump!

The 9/11 Report [Slate]

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• In the mixed-up world of Connecticut politics there’s one thing Joe Lieberman can count on. [Corrente]

• How many naked Libertarians can you fit in the back of a squad car? [AP]
• The drunker the President gets, the safer we are. [Bring It On!]
• Durty Jerz is about heritage, not hate. [Four Four]
• The American military is like the Green Lantern, dependent on willpower and unable to fight yellow things. [Matthew Yglesias]
• Johnny Deep is really just a better looking Jerry Falwell, puffy shirt notwithstanding. [Collective Sigh]

Isn’t usually the prerogative of the disenfranchised to invent elaborate dystopian fantasies of what will happen under the rule of the oppressor? Exactly what part of the Bush “I’m-gonna-appoint- whomever-I-want-so- whaddya-gonna-do-about- it-nah-nanny-nah-nah” Presidency is so unsatisfying that conservatives would need to engage in this particular fantasy?

It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11 It is up to an underground group of bio-mechanically enhanced conservatives led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North to thwart Ambassador Usama Bin Laden’s plans to nuke New York City…And wake the world from an Orwellian nightmare of United Nations dominated ultra-liberalism.

It’s not enough to control all three branches of government, gotta be the underdog, too. MORE »