Wonkette

Having decided that’s it’s just not funny anymore to have a heroic character called “Captain America,” Marvel Comics has killed off the famed comic-book “super soldier.” Created in the 1940s as a cartoon foe of Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan, the Captain has had some hard times. Nobody loves America and we aren’t exactly winning wars these days. Read the whole sad story, after the jump.

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Popular newspaper summarizing and Milbank enabling website Slate has the perfect accessory for your coffee table or the coffee table of a loved one: “9/11: The Comic Book.” This totally useful and non-exploitative 5-year anniversary cash-in will finally answer such burning, unresolved 9/11 questions as:

• Would Batman have been able to prevent the events of 9/11 if he hadn’t been encumbered by bureaucratic red tape?

• Is it true tower 7 was actually felled by Mr. Mxyzptlk?
• Was the colossally inept response by NORAD somehow Jughead’s fault?
• So, wait, are the mice Jews, or firefighters, or what?
• Is the sound of America’s loss of innocence more of a “fwoosh” or a “tssssssssssss…”?

Bonus: See a sneak preview panel of the graphic novelization, after the jump!

The 9/11 Report [Slate]

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• In the mixed-up world of Connecticut politics there’s one thing Joe Lieberman can count on. [Corrente]

• How many naked Libertarians can you fit in the back of a squad car? [AP]
• The drunker the President gets, the safer we are. [Bring It On!]
• Durty Jerz is about heritage, not hate. [Four Four]
• The American military is like the Green Lantern, dependent on willpower and unable to fight yellow things. [Matthew Yglesias]
• Johnny Deep is really just a better looking Jerry Falwell, puffy shirt notwithstanding. [Collective Sigh]

Isn’t usually the prerogative of the disenfranchised to invent elaborate dystopian fantasies of what will happen under the rule of the oppressor? Exactly what part of the Bush “I’m-gonna-appoint- whomever-I-want-so- whaddya-gonna-do-about- it-nah-nanny-nah-nah” Presidency is so unsatisfying that conservatives would need to engage in this particular fantasy?

It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11 It is up to an underground group of bio-mechanically enhanced conservatives led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North to thwart Ambassador Usama Bin Laden’s plans to nuke New York City…And wake the world from an Orwellian nightmare of United Nations dominated ultra-liberalism.

It’s not enough to control all three branches of government, gotta be the underdog, too. MORE »