Wonkette

Why does Barack Obama hate the nation’s hard-working comedians, satirists and cartoonists? That’s the important question teevee-industry reporter Bill Carter is asking today, in a New York Times piece complaining that nobody can make fun of Hopey because of hope, change, and racial transcendence. Yet the rednecks and racists are free to peck out their ALL CAPS emails and blog comments about how Barack Hussein Osama and his wife Angela Davis the Black Terrorist will turn America into some unimaginable place where black people aren’t slaves. MORE »

HILLARY TO APPEAR ON TEEVEE’S DAILY SHOW TONIGHT: Hillary appeared on Saturday Night Live over the weekend, and she will continue her “Hillary Appears On Comedic Television Shows That The Youth May Enjoy Tour 2008″ with tonight’s episode of the Daily Show. It will be funny when Hillary sits down expecting some softballs, and Jon Stewart asks her why she hasn’t released her tax returns yet, and then [CACKLE]. [Daily Show]

After a long hiatus in which millions of Americans mourned the loss of their most beloved comedy television show, Saturday Night Live will return to the airwaves this weekend. Pundits, pollsters, and voters alike are all wondering which actron will be given the honor of portraying Handsome Barry Obama. Conventional wisdom and an insider favorite, after the jump! MORE »

This is Cenk Uygur from ‘The Young Turks,’ Air America’s morning show. He is suing Stephen Colbert for $65 million, just like the pants guy, for stealing a joke about Klingons. You can see both jokes in the clip. Of course, we’re bloggers, so we steal all of our material, but apparently standards are different for basic cable and niche radio people. Still, you can sue for a “stolen” joke? Milton Berle is shaking in his boots while rolling in his grave. After the jump, a fun assignment! MORE »

Ed Henry was just hanging out by the White House, as is his custom, when he noticed “a group of Secret Service agents” hassling a black man. Naturally, Ed “didn’t think too much of it.” That happens all the time! But it turned out to be a famous black man. Dave Chappelle, popular comedian! MORE »

The Onion, America’s only readable newspaper, has opened a DC branch. And whenever anyone does anything in DC, they need to throw a party or two. The first two Onion parties was held last Thursday at the Black Cat. We went, because the Black Cat is within walking distance and they were nice enough to put us on the list. MORE »

President Bush made a difficult decision.

“I was looking forward to doing a little poking myself, but in light of this tragedy at Virginia Tech I decided not to be funny.”

And so, honorably, did Rich Little.

MORE »

Friday MORE »

* Ane Brun in concert at House of Sweden in Georgetown. There will be a bar and an Intern Nick. $5 at 7:30PM. [Embassy of Sweden]
* Delwende at the Hirshhorn. It’s ” based on a true story about a woman driven out of her village for allegedly being a witch. A sensitively crafted human drama with music and voice by the Senegalese artist Wasis Diop, this is a story of a mother and daughter that focuses on the human costs of traditional practices and women’s struggle for justice.” $13 at 7PM. [Smithsonian]
* As Brightest Young Things put it, “Remember Janeane Garofalo? I still think she’s cool.” She’s doing standup tonight at the State Thatre. $27.50 at 8:30PM. [BYT]
* Drink cheap, win a trip to Ireland where you’ll probably drink a little less cheaply. [FreeRide]

* Heard on the Hill: Remember yesterday’s picture of Hoyer and Pelosi dancing in the dark? They were dancing to a Springsteen cover band, led by Dennis Moore, playing Buddy Holly’s “Oh Boy.” … Tiger Woods was here… Hill staffers not entering “Funniest Fed” contest, because they’re apparently more sensible than we thought. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Elizabeth Birch and Hilary Rosen broke up! Aww… Geraldine Ferraro very popular with the Women’s Caucus. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Mark Russell has canceled his annual St. Patrick’s Day party. We’ve written an amusing song about it, but there’s sadly not time to play it now… Tony Snow forced an audience of federal employees to do the wave… Stephen Breyer speaks French. There are absolutely no jokes that could possibly be made about that. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Helen Thomas might get her seat back! When the next President takes over. Except the President doesn’t actually assign those seats, so you know… Ellen Tauscher’s district has renamed the Easter Bunny the “Spring Bunny.” Anything goes in California. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Everyone’s corrupt and making YouTube videos about it… The “Secular Coalition for America” is “outing” an atheist member of congress, or something. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: LBJ: finally getting a building! [WP]
* Rush & Molloy: Peter King, who co-chaired McCain’s 2000 New York campaign, is now with Rudy. [NYDN]

After six years of kissing the ass of Kazakhstan’s autocrat president, the Bush Administration has finally decided to notice the dreadful lack of human rights in the “former” Soviet Central Asian country that just happens to sit atop some of the biggest oil and gas reserves in the world … and right between Russia and China. According to a new report from Condi’s State Department, the mean old guys in Kazakhstan took Borat’s website away! Total lack of precious freedoms! MORE »

The New Yorker gives us a brief sketch of the man who’ll bring us this year’s White House Correspondents Association dinner entertainment, the not-dead-yet Rich Little. Little, who has been on TV approximately twice since the ’70s ended, promises to entertain and amuse everyone who remembers what Dwight Eisenhower’s voice sounded like. MORE »

* Pan’s Labryrinth is a “gothic fairy tale set against the postwar repression of Franco’s Spain.” It was nominated for a billion foreign language film awards and is directed by Guillermo del Toro. Limited engagement at AFI. 7 & 9:30PM. [AFI]
* Black Ops, The Flight Orchestra and Elijah B Torn at the Warehouse Next Door. $6 at 9:30PM. [WND]
* DC Improv Local Comedy Showcase. Matt Sapsford, John McBride, Jon Eick, Kris Payne, Tyler Sonnichsen, Andre Gatling, Marcus Brown, and Travis Spencer each have eight minutes to make all of our dreams come true. [DC Improv]