Tag: columns

Fred Thompson Explains How Tax Returns Work: Let’s Say There’s a Guy Watching Pornography…

Dadgum bumblebee-belchin' hoopdy bumbler mcdoo Fred Thompson, the former Senator who was convinced to "run for president" in 2008 because he drove a pick-up truck, has finally weighed in on the issue of Mitt Romney's undisclosed tax returns. Writing...

Wolf Attacks Theater: A Special BLITZER’S BLOG Review Of ‘Game Change’

Your Wonkette woke up at 3 a.m. this morning and has been refreshing CNN's Situation Room blog every 9 seconds without interruption since, longing for that glorious moment of release when the page would load and there, sitting atop...

This Angry ‘Daily Caller’ Guy Will Fix Our Food Stamp Epidemic

Uh oh, some blowhard who's written a book called The Politically Incorrect Guide to the Founding Fathers recently saw a lady using food stamps at the Wal-Mart -- just like Ronald Reagan warned us they would! She was buying...

DC Chicken Wing Bones Drive Capitol Hill Yuppies Nuts

Where have all the DC hoodoo men gone? Time was you could find a good hoodoo man to bless a mojo bag as easily as you could buy a mediocre sandwich covered in goat cheese at Cosi. Without these...

Charles Krauthammer Criticizes Obama For Not Being As Brave As Charles Krauthammer On Mosque Thing

Thank God (not Allah) that we have Charles Krauthammer to lead the hearts and minds of our country. Krauthammer, you will be shocked to learn, considering that kind face of his, is against the conversion of that Manhattan Burlington...

Why Does Obama Have An Enormous Ego About Himself But Not About America?

Wonkette Weeping Eagle winner Charles Krauthammer is doing his best to prove he earned it. Today he wonders why Obama has "modesty" about America but none about himself. A president, like any American, is supposed to believe that the...

140 Pulitzers In The Category Of ‘Doomsday Prophecy’ For Your Wonkette, Please

We said there was no cure! Quarantine the "Twitter part" of the Internet now please. UPDATE: Meg annotates this very confusing Twitter message with a follow-up Twitter message—as is customary in the hobby of journalism—after the jump. Please hold all...

Sally Quinn, Speaking For America, As Usual

If you read ONLY ONE important (for national security) Washington Post column today, let it be this divine half-drunk prattling from Queen and Spokeswoman of the Washington Premier Socialite Village Lawn Party Country Club, Sally Quinn. Good Heavens! Amazing...

Jonah Goldberg, K-Lo Write Same Article For Different Websites, Probably Are Having Sex With Each Other

It has happened -- IT! YOU KNOW OF WHAT WE SPEAK. Jonah Goldberg and Kathryn Jean Lopez have officially merged to become the ultimate destructo-bot of carnage and murder and death as foretold by ancient prophecy: The Fat Mexican...

Maybe We’ll Read Page 136 Just To Piss You Off, Mark Penn

As Gawker points out, this comical footnote is the douchiest possible way Mark Penn -- or anyone, ever -- could have ended his Wall Street Journal column today. (Oh, yes, he has a regular WSJ column now called... "Microtrends."...

Moonie Times: Jon Voight’s Insane Op-Ed Rant Against Barack Obama

The batshit crazy Washington Times published a hilarious column from creepy actor Jon Voight yesterday, and we missed it, because who reads the fucking Moonie Times, right? Fortunately a tipster has sent us the article and good freaking lord:...