columbia heights
Reasons To Ride the Gentrification Line
Thursday, August 26, and Friday, August 27: Women don’t like baseball and neither do kids with peanut allergies, but both breeds are being lured to Nationals Stadium this week by jewelry, handbags and EpiPens. On Thursday, the Nationals are hosting a Vegas themed pre-game party complete with massages and manicures for all womenfolk in DC. [...]
Boys and Girls Of DC: Time To Put On Your Sundress
If the prospect of a real, live debate on “FinReg” and a perfected Wall Street don’t make you want to scream with joy, here’s something that should: It’s officially spring in DC! How do we know this? Because when men wear sundresses, cheap beer is enjoyed, and a pig is roasted — all of which [...]
Columbia Heights Still Terrifying As Usual
Columbia Heights: Where white hipsters can watch from a comfortable distance as low-income minorities are murdered. This is what scholars call the “two cities” problem. [Why I Hate DC]
Columbia Heights Now Completely Gentrified By Ghosts
What would happen if you joined the Marines and then were sent to Okinawa to play with radios but then got bored and pretended to have PTSD and then told little children that you ate a grenade to save Lt. Dan during a heavy firefight in Fallujah and then bought a bunch of medallions to [...]
Tommy Hilfiger Declares DC The Best Place on Earth
Tonight through Sunday, August 30: Not that we haven’t already told you 1,000 times, but it’s (still) restaurant week! And it will even be Restaurant Week next week too. Make a reservation, eat a meal for $35.09, plus tax and gratuity and drinks (which some would argue is a rip-off), and feel like a real [...]
Drinking Just Got Easier
A new wine bar, Room 11, just opened in the District, and it’s in Columbia Heights! We don’t lie, neighborhood is changing FAST. Located across the street from a laundromat and a small local grocery store (which, according to the owner of Room 11, will surely start selling tonic water and upscale wine to cater [...]
Use August To Find Your Zen
August is a miserably hot month that serves no purpose other than to remind us a) that we wasted June and July and b) that we should probably do something valuable with our lives. We don’t even get any holidays — it’s just a harbinger of bad things to come, like the end of summer. [...]
MTV’s Real World Cast Seeks Internship With Senator Ensign’s Love Sack
The young intern was hungry for some popcorn, so she put her intern badge in the microwave. Later she spilled some cranberry juice on her favorite pleated skirt, so she used her intern badge to rub the stain out. And after another long day of indexing toenail clippings, the exhausted young intern walked to Metro [...]
Spring Has Sprung, From Beneath the Manskirts at Wonderland
If you mark the beginning of Spring in DC by the emergence of cherry blossoms, a resurrected Jesus, or homeless people sleeping in Dupont Circle, we regret to inform you that you’ve made a grievous error. Spring does not actually begin in DC until hordes of women and men alike don sundresses in a ritual [...]
The Heights: Good Bloody Marys, But the Food …
As the weather warms up, many brunch seekers head to the Heights in Columbia Heights for its enjoyable outdoor setting and its extensive, and complicated, Bloody Mary menu. Unfortunately, the food is bad.
Metro Section: Butt City
Metro Section: What Does Transitional Mean To You?
Metro Section: Just Beat Duke Edition
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