• May 27, 2012

colorado

Ah, very true. It’s the only logical conclusion, that President Barack Obama wanting to pass moderate bills incentivizing environmental responsibility (and maybe creating new jobs in the process) and providing basic health insurance to 30-40 million Americans makes him just like those 9/11 hijackers, and it’s time to bumrush the cockpit and crash his Kenyan [...]

While the state of Colorado has a few nice cities and some lovely wilderness, until very recently the entire state was run by the Ku Klux Klan, and those people didn’t all just die/disappear! And you can bet the “Rocky Mountain Fever Tick” wingnuts are not pleased about this colored fella speaking to kids on [...]

Man, the “easy post factory” will carry this entire liberal/evil blogosphere on her back, alone, through these last slow news days of summer, if she must. She could charge a subscription fee for each time she opens her mouth, and we’d buy 270 days up-front! Here’s the latest, from a speech she gave yesterday in [...]

Huzzah for the Can-Do spirit of Americans, who continue to just pile on the pounds despite the nation’s crushed economy. Turns out you don’t need much money to become obese! And without jobs, Americans have more time than ever to sit in front of teevee eating another bucket of corn-syrup taco-ball cheezey-poop pasta-bowl Grease Dipperz™. [...]

Well, this would certainly explain why Colorado is under constant assault from terrorist organizations seeking to free their own, and why the whole state has descended into a state of anarchy as Terrorist Cooties spread faster than the swine flu. “Thirty-three international terrorists, many with ties to al-Qaeda, reside in a single federal prison in [...]

Child molester scandals are not funny, like hooker-diaper scandals, or comically implausible, like the Larry Craig wide stance scandal, and they reveal no particular hypocrisy like the old “Gay-hating Republican hates gays, except when they are sucking their cocks” scandals. Child molester scandals are horrible for the accused and the accuser. (Also, your editor is [...]

by Jim Newell  2:34 pm January 8, 2009

BROWNIE EVACUATES DISASTER ZONE: Former FEMA head Michael Brown does one thing and does it well, and that’s getting himself as far as possible from natural disasters and straight to a safely distant Tex-Mex chain restaurant for appletinis and “bacon sliders.” Wildfires in Boulder? Michael Brown must be haulin’ ass. [Colorado Independent]

An actual 10,574,901 national and state polls have been conducted today, did you know that? No you didn’t, because you people cannot count that high. So here’s what you “need to know,” according to our fancy data robots at Wonkette.

My stars, what a fun Wonkette Weekend we are having! We decided to start posting everyday through the election after you people kept e-mailing us about how we are lazy. Well fine, you’ve got your weekend “phunnies,” lunatics, and it comes at the expense of Jesus sending us to Hell for working on a Sunday, [...]

My friends, it looks like the McCain Campaign is pulling out of three states they badly needed: Colorado, New Mexico and Iowa. Instead, they’re pouring whatever they’ve got left into Pennsylvania (Obama +12), Florida (McCain +1), Virgina (Obama +10 or +6), North Carolina (Obama +7 or +3), Ohio (even), and Nevada with its suddenly crucial [...]

Few signs are more telling of a remediless Republican campaign than a wacky attack ad about ’60s hippies smoking marijuana cigarettes. The conservative group Freedom’s Watch has just made this one against Democratic Colorado Senate candidate Mark Udall. Because you’d have to be high on drugs to support peace, HMM? [Scorecard]

Even though the Internet has already concluded that Barack Obama lost the election after some unknown wingnut vice president lady gave one surly speech last week, we couldn’t help but check out the electoral map anyway, just for kicks. Above is the fun Pollster map, and then you’ve got your FiveThirtyEight map, and this is [...]

C’mon people, stop bitching and moaning and threatening to move to socialist Europe under the false assumption that a lame Sarah Palin/Convention bounce has somehow sealed Barack Obama’s terrible fate. Wah wah wah. Things could be so much worse for Barry! Because if John McCain was set on picking a random lady with a narrative, [...]

Denver has this peculiar thing that’s been in the news the last couple of years in which the city has more or less decriminalized, or stopped enforcing, marijuana laws for small amounts. On the other hand, Colorado state laws override the city’s initiative, and they suck. But overall, if you want to smoke your marijuana [...]

The fattest people in the world got even fatter this year, as the obesity rate kept rising in 37 states and didn’t decline in the other 13 states. Mississippi, West Virginia and Alabama won the triple crown of fat-assery, surprising nobody, while Michigan was the only state in the Top Ten of Fat that’s not [...]