colorado

This story supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil Spills, Fracking, and Astroturfing. In another stirring victory over the forces of Big Government, a proposal to upgrade the Colorado National Monument into a full-fledged National Park has been stymied by a brave group of private citizens who signed petitions from […]

In Denver Tuesday night, some dude asked Barack Obama “Want a hit, man?” and then rushed to Instagram the exchange, showing Obama laughing like a drug-addled jazz criminal. It’s a sad day for America: You know that Mitt Romney would have instead asked the young miscreant to stop selling death sticks, whereupon the druggie would […]

Ever since John Jacob Gordon Klingenschmitt won his primary for a state legislative seat in Colorado, we’ve been expecting big things from old Chaps, which is one hell of a nickname for a straight man. We should have known that it wouldn’t be long before a man who is so very preoccupied by demonic possession […]

It’s a special 5th of July Derp Roundup, bringing you all the Red White and Blue idiocy we could scrape off our browser tabs. Please consume responsibly, and we hope that your pets are finally recovering from the barrage. Your Inderpendence Day lede: Ted Nugent’s WND column for July 3 explained that he “celebrates Independence […]

Do you ever wonder if Rick Santorum worries that prettier, younger, even more homophobic sweet thangs are taking his place? Maybe each day he looks in the mirror, worries about the grey at his temples, puts on a new sweater vest, purses his lips, tells himself he’s still got it, and goes out to grapple […]

Government bureacrats: the thin, gray-flannel-suit line between civilization and Somalia. The Environmental Protection Agency, for instance, keeps us from having exploding water, and poisoned water, and eyeless shrimp hahahaha lololol jk jk. But they want to. OR DO THEY? In his story — soon to become a classic of the genre — EPA Employees Told […]

Thanks to Snipy staying up late so we could post the results of the one election yesterday that everyone was following (Mississippi: the Old Guy won, the other asshole lost), we are left with tidying up the electoral crumbs from around our great nation. Of course, Chris McDaniel is still making grumpy whining noises about […]

We were just typing along on our midterm election roundup, looking up percentages for the Colorado primaries, when we found a result in a race we had almost forgotten about. All you connoisseurs of crazy will be delighted to know that disgraced former chaplain and radio preacherman Gordon “Chaps” Klingenschmitt, who thinks pretty much everything […]

Let’s keep shoveling out the comments queue — as we’ve mentioned, we have a whole bunch of … matter piling up in there, and we’re going to have to work hard to clean this mess out. Today, we’ll hear from some patriots who have had it with the Obama administration’s craven support for our enemies […]

Colorado Republicans had a gubernatorial debate Tuesday, and they put to rest any doubts that the party takes women seriously, with a lighthearted introduction to the debate that framed it as a political Dating Game — so kawaii, so fetch! Ain’t no “war on women” you guys, because Republicans just looove the Ladies!

Here’s a not-at-all nice story from Mother Jones about the lengths to which a whole bunch of Responsible Second Amendment Advocates have harassed and threatened women who have called for limitations on gun ownership. We want to make it clear that we don’t think all gun fondlers are misogynist assholes, of course; MoJo writer Mark […]

Man, the city of Denver is so harshing the Colorado Symphony’s mellow after the nonprofit announced plans for a series of cannabis-friendly fundraising concerts. Because dog forbid anyone listening to classical music should get to enjoy it. Yesterday the city sent a letter to symphony president Jerome Kern warning him that the plans for the concert […]

Now this is pretty good synergy: the Colorado Symphony, which is cash-starved like almost every other arts organization in the country, has announced it will play a series of “cannabis-friendly” fundraisers, sponsored by the legal marijuana industry. It should almost go without saying that they have a cute name, too: “Classically Cannabis: The High Note […]

Here is the latest outrage against all that is good and holy and just in our once-proud nation: According to the Stupidest Man on the Internet, Jim Hoft, “Rocky Mountain High School in Fort Collins replaced “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance with “under Allah.” My god! What is our country coming to? Creeping […]

Purity Hero Sean Hannity took to the radio airwaves Tuesday to alert America to this profound insight: marijuana will kill you dead! As proof, Hannity offers a genuinely sad story from Colorado, about the 19-year-old who jumped off a 4th-floor balcony after eating a friend’s marijuana cookie. The autopsy listed marijuana intoxication as a significant […]