colorado
Colorado Legalizes Civil Unions, Moves To Desegregate Drinking Fountains Next
Congratulations, Colorado! It is the year of our lord 2013, and you have just now decided to let gay people formalize their relationships even though they put their mouths on men’s wangs and/or ladies’ muffins when they themselves have wangs or muffins. We would be bitchier about this, but Talking Points Memo assures us that [...]
Bill O’Reilly Pretty Sure This Gay Colorado Lawmaker Wants To Molest All The Kids
So it looks like, with Glenn Beck gone, Bill O’Reilly has happily returned to his role as “the craziest one on Fox,” what with the incoherent yelling at Alan Colmes and the confusion about basic facts and all that. And we all remember how much fun he had calling Dr. George Tiller America’s Mengele, until [...]
Jimmy Carter Continues To Be Most Awesome Living Ex-President
All y’all with your Bubba hard-ons can leave right now until the next post comes on. Official Wonkette Editorial Policy proclaims Jimmy Carter the bitchinest, raddest, most fuckin’ greatest of all living ex-presidents and probably the dead ones too. Former President Jimmy Carter said that he favored legalizing marijuana during a panel discussion broadcast on [...]
Here Is Your Heartwarming 2012 ‘Throw A Poor Family Out In The Snow’ Christmas Miracle, America!
Just in case you were feeling hopeful about humanity or anything, we thought we’d nip that right in the bud. Yep, it looks like the Iconic Christmas Story for 2012 has arrived! In Grand Junction, Colorado, a single mother and her three children are going to be evicted from their apartment just in time for [...]
Hero Congressman Defends America From Commie Socialist Nuns
Nuns are so sweet and all, trying to help others and whatnot, but they really should maybe think twice about all the barnstorming they are doing around the country lately until they take a class in civics, or math. This barnstorming, it is dividing America, says Rep. Scott Tipton (R-Money), a Romney surrogate from Colorado [...]
Koch Brothers’ Brother Builds Old-Timey Western Town In Which To Properly Go Galt
Hiyo, David and Charles Koch! You guys are weird, but there is a method to your madness: you want to buy Wisconsin, and the presidency, and so you do. (Ol’ Romney’s a pretty good ROI, huh boys?) But what’s your brother Bill’s dealio? On what crazy-ass thing is he spending his billions today? There’s a [...]
‘Weather’ On List Of Things GOP Will Not Talk About
Stupid liberals, why must you always be so stupid, introducing LOGIC into discussions that are clearly driven by IDEOLOGY and also: MONEY. See, after the Colorado wildfires burnt up a large portion of Colorado Springs, Democrats thought that it might be a good time to hold a hearing exploring the links between climate change and [...]
Mosques Are Not Like Churches and Should Maybe Be Banned, Says Colorado Lawmaker
Do you have faith in your fellow (hu)man today? If so, do you want it shattered real fast, somewhere within the next 250 words? AWESOME because Wonkette is here to help! Turns out that there was some sort of Conservative confab in Colorado a few days ago called the Western Conservative Summit, wherein conservative lawmakers [...]
Campaign Manager of the Year Outs Boss’s Gay Son
Colorado state Rep. Marsha Looper’s campaign manager, Lana Fore-Warkocz, was so excited about her boss voting against civil unions that she simply had to get on the email machine and spread the word to supporters! Marsha Looper is not only a hero for stickin’ it to the gays, see, but she’s an extra-double hero because [...]
Heroic Colorado Ladies Lysol Students At Prom For Pretending To Do Butt-Sechs
Hey teens! Are you ready for the most magical night of your lives, when you will go to Manitou Springs City Hall and dance like you are pretending to do butt-sechs, and then later you will finally lose your stupid virginity in a haze of Bartles & Jaymes? That’s right, PROM NIGHT! Well, two chaperones [...]
Colorado House Speaker Forced To Find More Clever Ways To Murder Undead Civil Union Bill
We thought it was pretty special last week when Colorado House Speaker Frank McNulty killed a civil union bill dead by fleeing the chamber and never coming back. But the goddamn zombie civil union bill ROSE FROM THE DEAD when the stupid governor ordered the Lege into a special session to vote on it and [...]
Colorado House Speaker Has Clever Solution To Killing Civil Unions: Make Like A Tree And Get Out Of Here
Why won’t the Colorado legislature vote on questions of significance instead of these silly old civil unions, and the DREAM Act, and medical marijuana? That is what Colorado House Speaker Frank McNulty wanted to know after some of his fellow Republicans voted to let a civil unions bill out of committee and to the floor [...]
Mitt Romney Loses His Cool
We think this might have been how Bing Crosby looked when he got too much Scotch in him and started beating on his wife and kids. What brings the scary early scenes of The Stepfather out of mild-mannered Mittens? QUESTIONS! Questions about gay marriage, and children of undocumented workers getting in-state tuition, and medical marijuana, [...]
blog advertising is good for you
