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Posts Tagged ‘colorado’

Denver Police To Crack Down On Pot Smokers During Convention

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Denver has this peculiar thing that’s been in the news the last couple of years in which the city has more or less decriminalized, or stopped enforcing, marijuana laws for small amounts. On the other hand, Colorado state laws override the city’s initiative, and they suck. But overall, if you want to smoke your marijuana cigarettes, Denver’s a pretty good place to do so. EXCEPT WHEN THE STUPID DEMOCRATS COME TO TOWN. MORE »


Americans Are Much Fatter This Year In 37 States!

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Bloggin' is rad!The fattest people in the world got even fatter this year, as the obesity rate kept rising in 37 states and didn’t decline in the other 13 states. Mississippi, West Virginia and Alabama won the triple crown of fat-assery, surprising nobody, while Michigan was the only state in the Top Ten of Fat that’s not in the South, which also surprised nobody. Now let’s see how the Democratic Convention and Barack Obama’s vacation birthplace rate! MORE »


Wednesday, August 6th, 2008
  • ALERT ALERT!: HEY COLORADO RESIDENTS who like the HOPE GUY — this website just appeared literally within the last few minutes and you can get Obama convention acceptance speech tickets there! Quicky quicky! [Barack Obama]

Colorado GOP Senate Candidate’s Son Has Funny Racist Facebook Page

Tuesday, August 5th, 2008

The political children, the children are idiots. Colorado Republican Senate candidate Bob Schaffer has a son, you see, and he is 19 years old and in trouble for putting funny images on his Facebook page, like one that shows a picture of the three pyramids in Egypt with the caption, “Slavery Gets Shit Done.” Well, it’s true, right? Do you think people owned other human beings so they could watch them flop around all day? He also has a bunch of pictures of Barack Obama as a Muslim. Well, it’s true, right? MORE »


Colorado Candidate Jailed For Choking His Daughter

Monday, July 7th, 2008

Vince Chowdhury would like you to open that goddamned garage door NOW.Jefferson County school board member and Colorado legislative candidate Vince Chowdhury just sort of “lost it” when his goddamned wife and daughter didn’t open the garage door quickly enough when he was sitting in the driveway HONKING THE HORN, so he went to jail, because he allegedly grabbed his sixteen-year-old daughter’s throat, with both hands, and choked her, until she bit him, and then she hid in the bathroom until the Sheriff’s Department arrived. MORE »


Ted Haggard Finishes Spiritual Restoration, Is No Longer A Homo!

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

American hero Ted Haggard, the former pastor of a MEGACHURCH in Colorado Springs who quit in 2006 after fucking male prostitutes while on meth, has finally finished his holy “Spiritual Restoration” program, and can do whatever he wants. And all he wants to do is bang his wife and worship Jesus and live in his old house, with Jesus! [AP]


Liveblogging The Next Thousand Super Tuesday State Results

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

So many new states are about to pick their own special presidents! Let’s see who will be projected to punch Wolf Blitzer in his “beard.” It’s Arizona, Colorado, Kansas, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Minnesota … so many states, so much election projection business! MORE »


They Just Won’t Quit

Tuesday, December 11th, 2007

kristi%20burton.jpgRight-wing Christian fundamentalists/zygote- and fetus-protectors won’t stop trying to get the government to reflect their religious world view until we all stop fucking or start breeding a lot more. This is Kristi Burton of Colorado and she’s spearheading a ballot initiative to give civil rights to recently fertilized eggs because it’s easier to collect 76,000 signatures and change a law than actually convince the country that your religious world view is correct.

MORE »


An Open Letter to Tom Tancredo’s Congressional District

Monday, December 10th, 2007

tancredomex1.jpgDear friendly Colorado District Six voters,

Your district is a very red district, which would explain why you have elected Tom Tancredo five times. If anything can explain that! Well, we’d like to offer clemency for your egregious damage to the current state of American politics: Elect a Mexican to take the resigning Tancredo’s open seat in the 2008 election. Need we spell it out? This will mean a Mexican takes Tom Tancredo’s job. Please send us progress reports, as we will be checking in regularly.

kthxbai,
Wonkette


Tom Tancredo Outdoes Himself

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

Republican presidential candidate Tom Tancredo’s new ad ups the ante for him — and this is for a guy who said we should bomb Muslim holy places. Every single word in this ad is funny, and it’s read by some really, really old-sounding guy. DON’T EVER DROP OUT, TOM! WE NEED MORE!

Tancredo… before it’s too late [YouTube]