Purity Hero Sean Hannity took to the radio airwaves Tuesday to alert America to this profound insight: marijuana will kill you dead! As proof, Hannity offers a genuinely sad story from Colorado, about the 19-year-old who jumped off a 4th-floor balcony after eating a friend’s marijuana cookie. The autopsy listed marijuana intoxication as a significant […]

Last July, we told you about the fun idea proposed by the town of Deer Trail, Colorado, (population 546): sell novelty “drone hunting licenses” that would promise a bounty to anyone who brought down a federally-owned unmanned aerial vehicle. You know, for a laugh, and to raise money for the town, and to send the […]

Colorado has rolled out the first ad to warn you that being high is cool, but driving while high isn’t, because this is sadly a thing people need education about. And man, white stoner dudes who don’t shave so often should be PISSED, y’all, about the stereotyping happening here. Like they should start a twitter […]

Let’s say you’re a lawyer in Colorado and you come home after a long hard day of lawyerin’ and all you want to do is get your weed on. It’s Colorado! You can! It’s your god-given right thanks to living in a state that does not have Weed Prohibition! Oh, except for that part where […]

Bargain-rack Onion imitator The Daily Currant found its way into testimony given to the Maryland Senate Tuesday by Annapolis Police Chief Michael Pristoop, who solemnly informed a Senate panel of the disaster that lies in wait for any state that legalizes marijuana: “The first day of legalization, that’s when Colorado experienced 37 deaths that day […]

Our favorite Minor League radio preacher, Colorado’s Kevin Swanson, took a break from hating on gays and abortion for a few minutes to blame the Beatles for bringing demonic rock and/or roll to our shores 50 years ago, an event that set us on the road to this year’s Grammy Awards show, which he described […]

Welcome, O Wonkers and Wankers, to another edition of the Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we clean the sticky residue of stoopid stories from our browser tabs, cut it with a secret mix of chemicals from Freedumb Industries, and serve it up to you in an elixir that’s easily as tasteful and memorable as […]

One of the dopier little flaps of the late summer involved a couple of nice white ladies in the Colorado legislature who were accused of being a tad bit racisty, although they say they meant well, bless their hearts. The first foofaraw involved state Sen. Vicki Marble, who said some stuff back in August about […]

David Remnick wrote a million or so words about Barack Obama in the New Yorker this week, and several of those words were about the loco weed. And what did The POTUS say about the pot for us? “As has been well documented, I smoked pot as a kid, and I view it as a […]

Welcome, wonkeesters, to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we hose down the news, filter out the stories that weren’t quite worth a whole post but too stoopid to ignore altogether, spray the whole mess with cheap booze, and bring you the runoff. Enjoy! Our first story violates the entire premise of […]

Baboon panniculus Emily Miller of the Washington Times must have been super-jealous that Yr Wonkette already judged S.E. Cupp author of the dumbest column of 2014, because here she is already trying to get us to reconsider. To which we can only say, ladies, don’t fight! You are both special snowflakes with the analytical skills […]

Colorado radio preacher Kevin Swanson — you know, the guy who revealed that the Pill leaves ladies’ uteri studded with tiny corpse-babbies — shared some thoughts with his Generations Radio cohost, pastor Dave Buehner, about that gay marriage float in last week’s Rose Bowl Parade. Bad enough that it existed at all, but why didn’t […]

Wow, Gary was right! Leggy Fox News CNN Idiot S.E. Cupp truly has taken the lead for the dumbest column of 2014, and it’s going to take some massive expenditures of PunditDerp to surpass her thought-like statements about marijuana. It’s also depressing to know that someone will pull it off anyway. If nothing else, it […]

Greetings, mis pequeños Wonquitos! Hope you’re up for another exciting trip to the Purgatory of Ideas that is the comments queue! Our first unsuccessfully attempted comment was a reaction from “Katherine,” who was quite displeased with our failure to recognize our intellectual betters, particularly the Big Thoughts of Ben Shapiro: Ben Shapiro is more intelligent […]

A former principal at a Lafayette, Colorado, charter school says she was fired for interfering with a perfectly reasonable procedure for identifying kids whose lunch accounts no longer had any money in them — the cafeteria workers would stamp their hands so that everyone could see. The policy was also applied to kids who qualified […]