Wonkette

Our Liz Glover dropped by the National Portrait Gallery to ask bitter voters about Stephen Colbert’s dignified triple portrait, which enjoyed a limited engagement hanging in the restroom foyer, over the water fountain. The answers may repulse you! (Thanks to Dawne Langford for the camera work.)

Just like Andy Rooney had a good point that Barry Obama shouldn’t be president because he has a black-sounding name, the counterpoint made by labor-hating scab Andy Sullivan last night on Colbert was equally brilliant. Baldilocks spent a good chunk of his four minutes pushing for Barry, sharing with Comedy Central viewers the great insight the world will stop hating us if our president is brown and named “Obama.” Thank you, Andy. And thanks for saying it on teevee and not on your blog, where we wouldn’t have understood on account of we don’t know how to read..

New episodes of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show and The Colbert Report will start airing on Monday without the help of their starving writers, but plenty of writerly guests are lining up to promote themselves on the teevee shows. First up for Colbert: Andrew Sullivan, who may try to explain just what was going on in this creepy Iowa fantasy he posted yesterday. MORE »

Did you think that Stephen Colbert’s exclusion from South Carolina’s Democratic primary ballot yesterday would spell the end of his bid? Well maybe it has for Colbert, but you better believe some good-for-nothing grad students or whoever are starting the “let’s make an unofficial petition site that no one gives a shit about and will not result in any change” movement (see DraftGore.com). MORE »

“The South Carolina Democratic Party voted Thursday to keep comedian Stephen Colbert’s name off the Democratic Primary ballot, according to Executive Director Joe Werner…. Colbert, who officially filed papers to get on the ballot this morning, lost a roll call vote, 13-3.” Meh. [CNN]

Have either of these two men ever looked so uncomfortable?

* Mitt Romney would drive a stake through Mother Earth’s bare breast before he’d let his Nantucket buddies summer on an obstructed-view island. [New Standard]
* Iranians took British sailors captive to spite Bush, says guy whose every published word has been wrong. [Today's Zaman]
* Wall Street Journal editorial page on way better terms with Satan than Chris Mathews or Nancy Grace. [Political Animal]
* Little Wesley Clark unimpressed by the size of Rudy’s balls. [Intelligencer]
* Dennis Kucinich loves being broke. [Wizbang Politics]
* Only best and brightest watch Colbert, Lehrer. [Think Progress]
* The Politico: Boy, does it blow. [The Carpetbagger Report]
* Got GWOT? [Passport]

• Dan Bartlett says the White House Iraq policy is much like history, “changing week to week.” [Media Matters]

• Bush to establish military junta if Democrats manage to win any seats. [Captain's Quarters]
• Political consultants on both sides scared shitless of their candidate being interviewed by Stephen Colbert, calling his show, “must-not-do TV.” [Potomac Flacks]
• Hillary Clinton opponent and also-ran John Spencer calls Hillary a “butter face.” Claims it cost “millions” in plastic surgery to fix her busted grill. [The Left Coaster]
• All along the watchtower, Mitt Romney kept the view. While all the Mormo-Republican strategists came and went, wacky Utah preachers too. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• Maintaining “EIB” all the way, Rush Limbaugh accuses Michael J. Fox of faking Parkinson’s disease to garner sympathy for Democratic causes. [Crooks & Liars]
• Paranoia inducing Total Information Awareness program, previously booted out of DARPA, lives on at NSA with the rest of the illegal programs you haven’t heard about. [TPM Muckraker]
• America has its priorities straight, spends more on candy corn at Halloween than the GDP of Nicaragua. [Thinkprogress]