No one was allowed to record or write anything about Sarah Palin’s big speech Friday night, but guess what, that didn’t matter. Politico’s Jonathan Martin “snuck in” and reported blood and heads rolling, everywhere, an actual depiction of Hell. At some point, Sarah Palin started complaining about some mysterious Negro force that might be ruining that form of American currency, the coin. MORE »

In a federal raid yesterday, agents seized gold, silver and two tons of copper coins at the “Liberty Dollar” headquarters in Evansville, Indiana. What, pray tell, is a “Liberty Dollar”? It’s a counterfeit currency featuring Ron Paul’s head shot, made by ‘tards. Although “counterfeit” may be inaccurate if you believe the man behind the currency, Bernard von NotHaus, who thinks his moneys are legal. Think about the decisions you make, Paultards: If your boy wins, our secretary of the treasury will be a counterfeiter named Bernard von NotHaus. MORE »

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First came the staggering news that new U.S. dollar coins were minted without the crucial “In God We Trust” slogan — a painful acknowledgment that God had quit blessing America and America had quit trusting God.

Now there’s even spookier news: A couple in Denver came across a new dollar coin with no president’s face or anything, really, on either side of the coin. How did they even know it was a dollar coin and not the Lost Treasure of the Knights Templar or something? Probably because they went to the bank and specifically asked for the shiny new U.S. coins; people will apparently run out and buy whatever new coin gets made, in hopes that it will be fucked up and they can sell it on eBay for $300.

And that’s sort of what happened to our treasure-hunting couple, who we’ll meet after the jump.

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Hey did you know that there are BRAND NEW DOLLAR COINS? With PRESIDENTS on them? Yes? MORE »

The US Mint, having already ensured that someday we will handle a dollar coin emblazoned with the face of Gerald Ford, is now giving in to whiny bleeding-heart types by putting all the Presidents’ wives on some coins. Half-ounce gold coins of no denomination that will not circulate. Fun fact: MORE »