Wonkette

Remember when those nuts on the right, Michelle Malkin and Charles Johnson, condemned beloved fast food bakery Dunkin’ Donuts for letting teevee chef Rachael Ray wear a Palestinian scarf in this ad? Dunkin’ Donuts first released a statement saying that no, it was not the Palestinian kaffiyeh design at all, just paisley, and a SCARF. Despite being categorically incorrect, the wingnuts have somehow “won” and Dunkin’ Donuts will pull the ad due to the “possibility of misperception.” Jesus. [Boston Globe]

Hardy har har har. Get it? She’s useless! Bwah! [YouTube]

Hillary’s trip to the gas station not only threw the AP into a blind rage, but it also found our candidate struggling to operate the dastardly coffee machine. Don’t call her a hypocrite yet, however! That looks like a cappuccino or — dare we say — latte machine, so it makes sense that blue-collar Hillary had no dang idea how to use the mechanism. [YouTube]

In Fred Thompson’s new campaign spot, he takes the time to put down his newspaper and talk Amerkan like ’bout teh illegals. As he folkily-dolkily opines, you may wonder whether Fred Thompson ever has met a minority in his life — or at least in that coffee shop thing. Anyway, sorry to interrupt, Fred! Feel free to go back to your newspaper.

Fred Thompson: No Amnesty [YouTube]

In a big huge graphic about how much money the campaigns have and how they’re spending it, the Times today gives us this little bit of David Brooksian brand identity-as-sociology. It turns out both campaigns spend a lot on really shitty coffee, but their choice of shitty coffee suppliers varies based on their party identification! The Times also tells us how much the campaigns are spending on pizza, but not where they’re getting it — but Republicans probably love Pizza Hut, while Democrats prefer the younger, hipper, equally terrible Papa John’s.

(Also, John McCain is out of money)

Where Campaign Money Goes [NYT]

* Baristas from Murky Coffee and Tryst took 1st and 4th in some sort of Mid-Atlantic/Northeast contest. [DCist]
* You know that valet bike parking we mentioned in To Do? Well, WABA needs volunteers. [WABA]
* “There are two visions for our public schools emerging now in the District — two camps: One is saying, ‘Mayor, Order Those Schools To Be Good!’ The other is saying, ‘Mayor, It Takes a Village, Not a King.’ Though you wouldn’t know it by reading the Washington Post, more and more people are joining the second camp and are speaking out against the mayor’s proposal to take the public schools from the public.” [Sam Smith's City Desk]
* “So don’t waste this incredible opportunity, D.C. If Georgetown wins tomorrow, and especially Monday, don’t hold back. Flood the streets. Overturn some cars. Light a few fires. Those really nice stores along M Street, with their large windows? Perfect for looting.” [The DC Universe]
* Second-date ideas, including Tallula which has a “prix fixe wine and dinner tasting menu. It’s five courses of perfect pairings and for only about $75 per person, including tip …. The wine manager comes to the table to introduce the wine before each course and you get a little sheet of paper to jot down notes about the wines. Oh, and they tailor it for beginners, intermediate, and advanced.” [The DC Concierge]

* Free Starbucks tomorrow. [DCFUD]
* At $50,000 a year, GW is the nation’s most expensive college. Nine local kids will now attend for free. [Read Express]
* RE: DC housing market: “For those of us with decent credit, watching all the posers getting foreclosed is like watching cheap porn in the middle of the night.” [TC The Terrible]
* Review of the closing of the DC Independent Film Festival and not meeting Kiefer Sutherland, “there was the adult man chanting ‘kiefer! kiefer!’ during the film festival award proceedings, impatient to skip right past the awards and movie and see kiefer.” [Life Off Balance]
* Baked and Wired has best cupcakes in town, according to WP and CakeLove serves some of their cupcakes at room temp now. [Eat Foo]

* Partially decomposed skull found at Hawaii Avenue and Taylor Street, NE. [stop, blog and roll]
* About half the district’s red light traffic cameras are out of service, some for six months. [City Desk]
* If you see a life-sized coffee mug walking around, ask it where you can get a Venti Peppermint Java Chip Frappuccino and see what happens. [The Luck of 13th Street]
* “Surely, however, we can all agree that the District’s legal reasoning for continuing the ban is a slap in the face to the District’s 580,000+ residents. No matter how much you hate guns (and, despite my merit badges, I despise them), putting the Bill of Rights in jeopardy to maintain a ban that may or may not work is disgusting.” [why.i.hate.dc]
* WUSA9 has smart reporters: “I’m counting on any possible intruders avoiding my place because they will think, “That Bruce Johnson probably has a gun in there and would use it if necessary.” [Bruce Johnson's Blog]

Terrorists struck the Lincoln Memorial today with a semi-literate hand-scrawled note and various half-consumed consumer beverages. MORE »

Katherine Harris has a very, very specific Starbucks order: “Triple Venti, no fat, no foam, extra hot, with pink sugar.” It is her fuel, it is what keeps her going. If she doesn’t get it, she gets angry. Which might be how her cash-strapped campaign ended up spending almost a thousand dollars at Starbucks this fall alone.

The FEC data is here, but a brilliant (and seemingly unemployed) Wonkette Operative crunched the numbers for us:

Total Starbucks runs, July-September: 133
Total cost to the campaign: $948.05

After the jump, the full list of Starbucks trips in that period, with cost and dates of disbursement.

Illustration: Princess Sparkle Pony

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Just a week after our bold crusade to make the TSA idiots let us bring coffee on the plane again, everyone in America is suddenly free to bring coffee on the plane again!

Huzzah!

A tale of incredible patriotic victory, after the jump.

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You don’t have to be a laboratory scientist or explosives expert to know the “Gatorade/iPod Bomb Plot” was total bullshit from Day One; you just need to be able to read and comprehend the simple explanations provided by said laboratory scientists or explosives experts.

We need to bring our coffee back on the airplanes. We need our laptops and DVD players and iPods on those murderous transatlantic flights. We need you help, Washington media elite, so please join us after the jump.

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• There is such a thing as Modern Drunkard Magazine , and the era of the Three Martini Lunch has not passed, it is alive and well along with every other D.C. cliche. [Metroblogging]
• Lieberman, like the Illusionist, able to work the sunrise, put the thing down flip it and reverse it. See the video! [DCDL]
• Katie Couric is a fattie. [The Conservative Futurist]
• Too Much Coffee Lady goes on defensive “airquote” laden rant in RED ink. Gentrification still sucks, still evergreen. [On My Home Planet]
• Saddam Hussein saw the South Park movie, won’t stop impersonating Cartman. [Melissa the Misanthrope]