In today’s installment, we remember The Slaughter of The Cock: “I watched the man set the bird down, pinning it gently under one knee, and pulling its neck out across a narrow gutter. For a moment the bird struggled, beating its wings hard against the ground, a few feathers dancing up with the wind. Then it grew completely still. The man pulled the blade across the bird’s neck in a single smooth motion. Blood shot out in a long, crimson ribbon. Lolo rubbed his hand across my head and told me and my mother to go wash up before dinner.” As some Harvard guy writing in a small newspaper wrote today, “As we approach the critical months of the national campaign, Obama may need to recall the oedipal lessons learned from his stepfather or consult his notes on the Balinese cockfight.” Truer words. Wait, what? [The Free Lance-Star]

What better way for a champion to end his career in the ring than by, uh, permanently disfiguring his own body with a giant Ron Paul tattoo? That was the grand scheme hatched by the Paultards, who came up with this great idea to forever scar middleweight/heavyweight legend Roy Jones Jr. with Paul’s name in time for the big fight with Felix Trinidad on Saturday. But Jones just killed the $50,000 offer, the Las Vegas Sun reports, because it was just so fucking stupid. [Las Vegas Sun]

A little, thoroughly vaccinated birdie told us today that buried deep within the Department of Defense Appropriations Bill — which is otherwise noteworthy for the steps taken to fund avian flu preparedness — is some language that piques curiosity even as it strongly claims to be oh, ho, apropos of nothing. MORE »