Wonkette

Back when he was a young pup, Barack Obama went to college. Some of his former classmates remember he was a supernice guy who stood up to menacing bums; others say he was aloof; and still others ask, “Barry who?” Such was the wonderful enigmatic palimpsest of Barack Obama back in the days when he wore “$5 military-surplus khakis and used leather jackets” and roomed with some guy who later became a loser due to his cocaine addiction. MORE »

Finally, George and Laura have almost married off one of the First Twins! It only took eight years, but Jenna found a “taker” and she’s getting hitched tomorrow at her parents’ fake “ranch” in Crawford, which sounds only a little better than “Waco,” and it’s time to celebrate the occasion with a bunch of bullshit trivia, after the jump. MORE »

In some terrible news for full-time bloggers, the amount of cocaine being trafficked into the United States from our “southwestern” borders is sharply declining, if lower government seizures are any indication (not like “ha ha that guy’s freaking out”-style seizures, but actual seizures of cocaine. Same thing?) John Walters, the U.S. DRUG CZAR, also says that the purity and and price of cocaine has fallen in our fair country as well. This probably is why Bear Stearns was too lazy to save itself, and also why it took insane risks in previous years when cocaine was still good. So now all the cocaine is going to Europe, where they have a very strong currency. Now they can make crazy loans too! [BBC] MORE »

This David Paterson guy is a real piece of work. First he admits that when his marriage hit a rough patch he dated other women, instead of engaging the services of a high-dollar prostitute like any normal politician. And now instead of vehemently denying he knows anything about drugs he says he did them once, in his impetuous youth! MORE »

Even though Presidential candidate Barack “Barry Hussein” Obama maybe didn’t do as many drugs in high school and college as he said he did–leading many, of course, to wonder if he’s really the truth-teller America needs in the White House right now–he is still on record as being a fan of the cocaine. And you know who else is? His new friend Lincoln Chafee, the most lovable Fraggle ever elected to the Senate! MORE »

Barack Obama had… some kind of sex… with this man! With the drugs and the blackness and all of those things that happen. As he says, um, they — [curve that cue card up to the right, thanks] — got in a limo and did some heroi — [oh, coke it was, scratch the heroin line and let's go with coke] — did some cocaine and then had all sorts of gay blowjobs together [will I be more believable if I shave? Meh, let's run with this]. [Youtube]

Failed presidential candidate and Barry supporter John Kerry ripped the Clintons Monday for their “petty” hints at Obama’s past drug usage. In an interview with the HuffPo website, Frankenstein notes: “That kind of discussion… from a campaign where the former president made famous the words ‘I did not inhale’ is to make something an issue that they themselves acknowledged shouldn’t be.” But John, did you hear that Obama is black? [HuffPo]

Wonkette is dedicated to bringing its readers the most up-to-date news in the War on Drugs available, from marijuana to cocaine and anything else we can find to “write about.” Today, we bring you news from the cocaine front of the WoD: prices are up! No, down! Well, both. We get some help focusing, after the jump.

MORE »