Tag: cocaine

Watch where you point that thing, bub

Alex Jones: The Churches Are Doing Cocaine Hookers In Helicopters, So Give All Your Money To Wonkette!

Even a trucker-speed salesman with anger issues and psychosis is right twice a decade!

Steve Bannon’s Florida Porn / Meth Palace Probably Not Your Top AirBnB Choice

If those walls could talk...they'd plead, 'Bulldoze me. Please just bulldoze me.'

Wonkagenda: September 28th, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Wonkagenda: September 27, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

This Preacher Is Pretty Sure Sex With A Snake Will Make You Homeless Or Something

Oh hello there. Were you wondering what it would look like if a rural preacher (who looks vaguely like a Dorian Gray-style painting of Dick Clark stashed in his closet for 45 years) showed up on your YouTube Teevee and...
We think those may actually be Charlton Heston's cold dead fingers

Nevada Wingnut Sharron Angle Threatens To Lose Another Senate Race

Be of good cheer, O Ye Wonkers, for behold, we bring you tidings of great joy! Sharron Angle, the Nevada loon who somehow lost her Senate bid against Harry Reid in 2010, even though she said that "second amendment...
Dumber than a speeding bullet

I Came, I Saw, I Got The F*ck Out: Your (Final) Florida Roundup

Dearest Wonks, There’s a confession Yr Florida Correspondent needs to get off his chest: Yr Florida Correspondent does not actually live in Florida, and has not for some months now. Instead, the day job has drawn me to North Carolina,...
Definitely not an NWA fan.

Bill O’Reilly Very Sad Americans Are Divorcing Jesus, Jiving On The Rap Music, And Smoking Crack

Bill O'Reilly is very upset. A new Pew poll has shown that the super-majority of Americans who identify as Christian is not quite as super as it used to be. Just eight years ago, 78.4 percent of the population was Christian,...
Funny, they look ... just like Florida parents.

Florida Parents: You Keep A ‘B’ Average, We’ll Keep Giving You Weed And Cocaine. Deal?

Parenting is the toughest! You have to keep the kids fed, but you also want them to grow up and be productive citizens, and you don't get a handbook at the hospital on how to make that happen. So...

Cokehead Congressman Will Manage Your Crisis, For Money (To Buy More Cocaine)

You guys remember Trey Radel, don’t you? He’s the former “hip-hop conservative” (he really called himself that!) congresscritter (from Florida, naturally) who has a little problem with the booger sugar — or more specifically, being caught with the booger...
Having the Royal Navy bring him the stuff was probably a mistake on his part

Old Handsome Joe Biden’s Son Hoovering Up All The Cocaine

Vice President Joe Biden's son Hunter was discharged from the Navy Reserve in February of this year after failing a drug test for cocaine, according to the Wall Street Journal. It's a sad story, and pretty unremarkable, but thank...

Oklahoma’s Former GOP Chief Reminds Us That Cocaine Is One Hell Of A Drug

What’s up with the GOP and substance abuse these days? First there was the "cocaine Congressman" from Florida, and then the drunk-driving Taco Bell state representative, also from Florida. Apparently Oklahoma has a big SAD about not getting enough...

Scott Walker Will Not Get All Potted Up At Your Hippie Wedding, Wisconsin

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has a profound insight into the cultural and medical reasons that make alcohol okay, while marijuana should not be decriminalized: “If I’m at a wedding reception here and somebody has a drink or two, most people...

How An Underemployed Michigan Rocker Chick Became The Cocaine Queen Of ’80s L.A.

This is the stuff of Martin Scorsese movies, only without the inevitable stylized downfall. It’s been over five years since the following was published in Los Angeles City Beat, and I still think the cream of Cissie’s con was...

Cokehead Trey Radel Resigning From Congress To Spend More Time With His Coke

Florida congresshoover Trey Radel, the "hip-hop conservative" who went and got himself busted for cocaine possession back in November, will resign today, according to pretty much everyone. His letter to Speaker John Boehner says, “is my belief that professionally...