Tag: coca-cola

Walmart And Coca Cola Team Up For 2016’s Best 9/11 Tribute!

9/11 turns fifteen this weekend. In honor of this occasion, a Florida Walmart wants you to celebrate the tragedy's Quinceanera with cases of Coca-Cola sugar water. Here's our "synergy" of the week: In an attempt to honor a local firefighters'...

The Republican National Convention Is Going To Be Just So Gosh Darn Swell!

Nobody wants to go to Cleveland's big Republican National Convention hoop-de-doo :(
And Moses invests, hahaha!

Georgia’s Nifty ‘Religious Freedom’ Law Might Protect KKK’s Sacred Right To Do Klan Stuff

The Georgia state Senate passed an absurdly broad "religious freedom" law Friday on a 38-14 vote, sending a revised version of the bill back to the House, where it is expected to pass as well. Gov. Nathan Deal is...
all woman, no kidneys

Rejoice! New Barbie Body Types Will Enhance Self-Esteem Of Mattel Shareholders

This week we'll talk about dolls, soda and lying because deep down, like most of us, our Corporate Persons are runny-nosed little kids. Barbie's new curves not as hot as some of the takes they're producing Barbie! She's...
They're everywhere!

Gay-Hating Wingnuts Must Stop Using Google, Drinking Coke, And Having Abortions

Every week, there's some new company making the queer-hatin' folks of our U.S. American society real mad in their bathing suit regions, for making nice-nice with the gays. Usually we hear about it from the One Million Moms, that...
outsourcing you with her eyes

Count Carly’s HP Donors On Zero Hands And Other Campaign News From Corporate America

The 2016 GOP primary is all anyone wants to talk about these days. Your grandparents are talking about it. Your flight attendants are talking about it. Your feral pants-shitting chickenhawks are talking about it. But what about our super important...

Jon Stewart Wants To Know Why All These Euro-Americans Are Freaked Out By That Coke Ad

After nearly a week, the poutrage over that Coca-Cola ad in wrong languages hasn't abated much. Jon Stewart wonders what the fuss was about -- possibly the ad's "dangerous levels of schmaltz"? No, it's all that scary foreign...

Allen West Will Be Haunted By The Horror Of The Coca-Cola Superbowl Ad For The Rest Of His Life

Did you watch Super Sportsball Spectacular yesterday? Were you rooting for the Broncos? If so, you are probably not reading this because you committed ritual suicide after that game. Those of you who remain are still watching wingnut heads...

Mitt Romney: Why Can’t Amercia Be More Like China?

Oh goody, more incriminating audio from a Mitt Romney fundraiser. This one is  from a fundraiser he and his wife attended at the Irvine, California, home of David Horowitz (a different David Horowitz) back in March, and although Mittens...

Bolivia Expels Coca-Cola Because of the Apocalypse

Sometimes your Wonkette gets so carried away lamenting the ills of American politics that we ignore the bigger picture: The Mayan Apocalypse is coming at the end of the year, and then we won't have to worry about any...

Incredible Coca-Cola Job Offer To Everyone Probably Not Legitimate

With more than 150,000 people losing their jobs every week in the United States and millions more being laid off around the world, the scams are getting ridiculous. Take this message from "hr@coca-cola.com," which we just received: Coca-Cola is...

Mike Huckabee Day, Continued