cnn
CNN Typist LZ Granderson Simply Does Not Care For Investigative Reporting
Americans are so NOSY, you guys, what with their unrelenting interference in Vice Presidential matters and this bizarre obsession with “unsealing” classified documents to better understand the mistakes and triumphs of the past. Thomas Jefferson? Moron. James Madison? Hippie. And don’t even get me started on George Washington. Via an Op-ed piece by CNN journalist typist LZ Granderson: We are [...]
Congratulations To CNN’S Carol Costello For Shoddiest Interview Of The Day
Get the plaquemaker on the phone — we’ve got an award to give out. Thursday, sinister Kristen Wiig-lookalike Carol Costello did a short piece about the recent Pew study that found 68 percent of the millennial generation reports they have at some point never “doubted the existence of God.” That’s down from 76 percent three [...]
Mitt Romney Says Something, CNN Writes it Down
Can you type? Or if you can’t type, can you tell like an intern or somebody that you need something typed? Because if you do, you might have a shot at becoming a political producer for CNN, given that these skills are a prerequisite for the job, which seems mainly to consist of typing things [...]
In Embittered Lovers’ War Of Words, Fox Slams Newt Gingrich For Two-Timing With CNN
It was recently reported that Newt Gingrich and Fox News had a tiff. Newt likes attention and Fox had plenty to give, but not to Newt. Fox met a new man. His name is Mitt. He was everything Newt couldn’t be. Newt tried to get Fox to return by opening up his heart and writing [...]
Bitter Newt Gingrich’s Mouth Writes Fox A Check His Ass Can’t Cash
Newt Gingrich was in Dover having a meeting with 18 Delaware Tea Party leaders. At such a crucial moment in his campaign, he did what any potential chief in command would do. He talked shit about his former boss Fox News for divorcing him for Mitt Romney once he proved to be cancerous to the [...]
Liveblogging What Mississippi, Alabama Think Of 4 (Still 4!) Guys In Ties
Hi. Tonight we are reminded that this country has 50 states and even some territories, and each must have her chance to say, “Ahem” regarding positions of power. It’s time for us to tune in to Mississippi and Alabama (and later, after this Wonkette has gone to bed at 8PM PST or so, Hawaii) and [...]
Rick Santorum: Make Teleprompters ‘Illegal’ On The Campaign Trail
Family piggybank smasher Rick Santorum has tried it all in his vanity presidential campaign, from constantly insulting gays to constantly insulting women, but victory just doesn’t seem to be in the stars for this comically ousted Senator from last decade. How’s he gonna kill time until God finally gives him the green-light to quit the [...]
Wolf Attacks Theater: A Special BLITZER’S BLOG Review Of ‘Game Change’
Your Wonkette woke up at 3 a.m. this morning and has been refreshing CNN’s Situation Room blog every 9 seconds without interruption since, longing for that glorious moment of release when the page would load and there, sitting atop the earlier, lesser posts, would be a fresh new entry to BLITZER’S BLOG offering Wolf Blitzer’s [...]
Joe The Plumber/Future Congressman Whining About ‘Gotcha’ Questions Already
Back before Joe the Plumber fell into an Internet spidy-hole and was still actually getting interviewed (granted, only by things called “Christianity Today”), America’s sweetheart let slip with some—how to put this delicately—fucking nuts comments about the “queers” and how he would never let them near his children. Ha, so heartland, right? Well, Joe recently [...]
Palin Might Run For President Because Of Raging Non-Limbaugh Misogynists
Sarah Palin went on — or should we say, was transmitted through someone’s phone-toy in the direction of — CNN during Tuesday’s Super Snoozeday parade, and proclaimed that who knows whether she’ll run for president today, tomorrow, or after the Mayan apocalypse, but anything is possible because Americans can do anything they put their minds [...]
Wolf Blitzer Blog Post Answers Every Question You Had About Politics
Are you confused about how last night’s Republican debate “will play” with the voters of Arizona and Michigan? Or what about politics in general: Are you confused about what politics is? Your Wonkette had no idea about any of these things — all these years we’ve just been liveblogging SportsCenter for each post — until [...]
Michelle Obama Takes Millionth Vacation For Fake Holiday
Here we are again, trying to keep the rats from eating the last of our Ramen noodles while our FLOTUS wines and dines (in reasonable portions, of course) across the country. This past weekend, Michelle Obama took the First Niñas on a ski adventure in Aspen, Colorado, providing the American people with a sixteenth(!!!!) occasion [...]
Mexico-Bashing Gay Arizona Sheriff Shares Tips On Forbidden Love
Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner “Jose,” who was also a trusted political consultant for Babeu and even designed all of Babeu’s congressional campaign websites: Jose somehow secretly “wanted to harm me,” Babeu told CNN on Monday. If true, this follows the typical Republican [...]
blog advertising is good for you
