High-frequency trading? Goldman Sachs? Ball’s in your court, Taibbi. [Matt Yglesias]
“You Want Context? Drudge Will Give You Context.” And brain herpes! [Weekly Standard]
Joe Biden is such a golly liberal fascist, according to liberal fascist experts. [USA Today]
The best part of RedState’s furry convention was when Liz Cheney gave everyone an enormous boner — as stiff as a starched collar! Who could resist doe-eyed Liz in that delicious panda bear suit? So soft. [RedState]
Sean Hannity is now a Texas Kentucky Colonel. [Think Progress]
CNN took one look at the ad Media Matters wanted to air and said, “What is this? You are not selling pills or automobiles? NO. This will not do. Air your facts on Fox.” [TPM]
Media Matters is, according to Lou Dobbs, “some kind of Mexican space alien, from Mexicans.” But the liberal organization best known for sending out emails about how Fox News isn’t liberal has finally done something kind of funny, by purchasing commercial time on orange-headed blubbermouth Lou Dobbs’ afternoon comedy hour, White Supremacy For Angry Dummies. MORE »
What is this? It’s the tragic result of 5,000 White House photographers with old-fashioned “click-y cameras” taking 5,000,000 pictures of the president and vice president (both in shirtsleeves) and the stars of the new Cambridge reality teevee show, No Motherfucker You Cannot Arrest Me In My Fucking House I Am a Harvard Professor …. Oh So Just Step Outside For a Moment?MORE »
We read that CNN and MSNBC each have been displaying a “Beer Summit Countdown Clock” during their programs this afternoon, and here’s proof! (What’s that alert on the bottom there? Something about many humans dying in that country we invaded and occupied just for shits and giggles? Ha ha, weird, whatever.) But maybe the Beer Summit will be GOOD FOR AMERICA, and Washington, which has just been making everyone insane this week, unlike other weeks. MORE »
The bounty hunters at CNN have located the plantation from which Michelle Obama escaped, and returned her. Pulitzer for Public Service much? [CNN via Wonkette bounty hunter "Patrick"]
Nutty Palin spokeslady Meg Stapleton was in New York when Nutty Palin suddenly resigned as governor of Alaska, the state that elected her as governor two-and-a-half years ago. Listen to Meg make NO SENSE as a baffled Anderson Cooper asks her again and again, “Lady why are you talking about basketball, and how does quitting equal leadership, and I don’t know who the hoop is, and who the ball is.” Cooper’s expressions around 4:40 are priceless. [CNN/YouTube]
Wonkette’s favorite girlfriend Jeanne Moos quoted our own Ken Layne referring to Obama’s “Ich bin ein Muslin” speech in Cairo yesterday. Otherpeople, it appears, had the same clever catchphrase rattling around their skulls but whatever, Wonkette wins the Jeanne Moos News Hour. [CNN]
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger simply does not care for the right-wing fatso losers who now dominate the GOP. Rush Limbaugh has probably already revoked Arnold’s party membership. Soon the entire Republican party will consist of this bloated buffoon on the AM radio and the commenters at Free Republic. And Schwarzenegger will be the “green energy czar” or whatever in the Obama Administration, the end. [CNN]
The worst writer in the world, Washington Post landed gentry spokeswoman Richard Cohen, has met Elizabeth Edwards and John Edwards too! “I know John and Elizabeth Edwards — not well, just a bit. I’ve been to their house — the old house, the one in Washington. I had breakfast with them. I found her smart, likable. I never knew what to make of him. A three-dollar bill, I always suspected.” He knew about this all along, basically. “She drove me to where I could get a cab. We talked. What about? Can’t remember. Now this. What to think?” Who fucking knows GAHH! MORE »
Whoa, a black person on Sesame Street! They were not kidding, about the change. Here is elitist fashion plate Michelle Obama disrespecting our Queen again by saying the best thing she ever did was some kind of fetish play with a red monster which is actually just some terrible carpet with ping pong balls for eyes and a gay dude’s hand up its ass. Exercise, it’s what’s for dinner, fat America! [YouTube]
We read that CNN and MSNBC each have been displaying a “Beer Summit Countdown Clock” during their programs this afternoon, and 
Birth control? The spork? Caucuses? The labradoodle? The Volkswagen Thing? Democracy? Drip irrigation? Unmanned drones? [
The bounty hunters at CNN have located the plantation from which Michelle Obama escaped, and returned her. Pulitzer for Public Service much? [
The worst writer in the world, Washington Post landed gentry spokeswoman 