FAMOUS CNBC LADY LITERALLY HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT: We know that most of you people like to spend your entire “workdays” watching the television channel for rich people, CNBC, so as to stay a step ahead of your fellow investors in the ultra-competitive “Who can lose most of America’s wealth the quickest?” financial game, so we feel obligated to present you with a modest caveat to keep in mind: one of the channel’s most well-known hosts, Maria Bartiromo, has no idea what Medicare is. She does not understand why 44-year-old Rep. Anthony Weiner doesn’t currently “use” Medicare himself, if he thinks so highly of it. Disturbing. [Huffington Post]

Remember Judd Gregg, the New Hampshire RINO who accepted a top job in Barack Obama’s Politburo and then melodramatically refused to actually take the job, like some emotionally unstable goth teen? Well he is back, sort of! The grandstanding old cocksucker went on CNBC to bitch about “Cash for Clunkers,” a government rebate plan with broad bipartisan support and popular acclaim that accomplishes the neat trick of getting polluting old jalopies off the road while keeping the car companies alive during these last tough months of the Great Recession — because this brief and helpful program will obviously cause the United States to become a “banana republic in 10 years.” This is what Judd Gregg said, on teevee. MORE »

There is a crazy bald dude on CNBC, and he is going super-double crazy. And here, introducing this CNBC clip of insanity, is a guy in California who is … driving and doing a YouTube video at the same time, about how Californians will soon be sent to Concentration Camps. So, pack a suitcase and drive around! Let’s see some more of this wacky CNBC weirdo, Jeff Macke. MORE »

Doctor Howard Dean got a new job! He will be a “regular contributor” on CNBC, the important business channel which features idiots screaming at each other all day as the stock market does whatever it does — up some days, down some days, etc. Today he did a guest-hosting deal, on some CNBC show. Maybe he’s on right now, who knows! You see, only idiots watch CNBC. It’s a place for cocaine addicts and self-hating day traders and insane old people who think they can “beat the market” and actual retarded people who grab the phone away from the nurse and yell “BOO-YAH.” In other teevee shout-y news, Chris Matthews will be on MSNBC for another four years, which means he won’t be running for the Senate or whatever. [Sam Stein/New York Times]

All it took was for the National Outrage to direct itself at derivatives traders at the World’s Worst Company receiving bonuses, and now Rick Santelli is finally saying: Whoa… hey… let’s cool it down, right? Besides, this outrage over $165 million doesn’t exist in a vacuum. People want government policy towards AIG (”give them the night key to the U.S. Mint”) completely changed now that the very worst individuals in the company are being directly rewarded. The fact that those contracts have to be honored under the present arrangement says quite a bit. [YouTube]

• TIME TO ABANDON THIS SHIP: “Friday brought more tumult for CNBC anchor Jim Cramer, when the chief executive of his online financial news site, The Street.com, resigned.” KEEP YOUR MONEY IN THESTREET.COM’S STOCK IT IS FINE. [Crain's]

OH RIGHT EVERYBODY WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE DAILY SHOW VS. CNBC: We really don’t think too much about Jim Cramer — if you’re making investment decisions based on some evening teevee show featuring a vulgar clown stomping around a New Jersey soundstage, you’re sort of beyond help. But, Daily Show comic Jon Stewart decided to let this guy have it, we guess (can’t find the video), and here is your Open Thread, just go nuts.

Last week on his Daily Show, Jon Stewart did something that’s been a very popular trend on the Internet for about two years now: he searched “cnbc wrong” on YouTube and showed clips for five to ten minutes, with minimal commentary, because there is just too much CNBC badness on the YouTubes. (He didn’t even get some of the REALLY good stuff, like when a guest would come on in early 2007, say that housing prices would fall and land us in a major recession, and be met with a terrifying response of ear-crushing drunk laughter and almost violent mockery.) The segment was extremely popular, and CNBC has been in damage control ever since. And what’s a better way to make the whole episode quietly disappear than by putting loud bear-frog Jim Cramer on teevee shows to scream at Jon Stewart, for being mean? MORE »

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs has had the tendency, early on, to embarrass himself during press conferences by turning snippy as a defense. But this comment about Kathryn Jean Lopez’s pretend boyfriend and preferred vice presidential candidate, Rick Santelli — a rich ex-financial rich guy who now (rather brilliantly, we admit) manages to win over unemployed, poor white people with rants on the Wall Street tips ‘n’ cheats teevee channel about how he and his money friends who ruined the economy WILL NOT ALLOW $75 billion in government money to go towards resuscitating millions of salvageable mortgages that are currently impossible to price and spreading death everywhere — is somewhat perfect. Wry, mocking, and even somewhat informative! [Huffington Post]

This graphic comes from National Review Online editor Kathryn Jean Lopez, and we think she’s in loooooooooove! “I’m noticing the tone. I’m seeing the enthusiasm. And I’m digging out from the sheer volume of e-mails I’ve been getting today about that CNBC dude. The reaction to Rick Santelli’s Chicago-trading-floor incident this morning echoes the emotional reaction my inbox had to Sarah Palin’s convention speech this summer.” PRRRRR, KITTY. It was definitely when Santelli called poor people “losers” that K-Lo knew she had a new man in her life. Move over, Mitt Romney! [The Corner]

Here’s one of the more unlikable people we’ve heard of for the first time today, CNBC’s Rick Santelli, at some trading floor in Chicago, going *apeshit* over Barack Obama’s $75 billion mortgage plan to keep “the losers” in their homes. Maybe Obama’s plan isn’t so great, who knows, but one thing is clear, and that’s that Rick Santelli hates poor people — and by poor people we mean the bottom 50-90% of per capita income earners. How else would you explain the fact that he and his trader friends are *just now* starting to worry about Moral Hazard? [Calculated Risk]