Tag: club for growth

Pennsylvania Democrats Have Hot 3-Way In Race To Take On Pat Toomey (R-Yawn)

a href="http://wonkette.com/600294/maryland-has-two-awesome-democrats-running-for-senate-can-we-have-both"Welcome back to our newish feature, our weekly countdown of U.S. Senate races, yes, even the ones where there's no real contest. But not this week! Last time, we looked at Maryland's primary between two ridiculously well-qualified Democrats;...

Scott Walker’s Favorite Queer-Hatin’ Judge Will Hate Queers On Wisconsin Supreme Court

<a href="http://wonkette.com/599386/scott-walkers-favorite-judge-was-a-real-queer-hatin-hoot-in-college"></a>Failed presidential candidate Scott Walker had a GREAT night in Wisconsin last night! First of all, his new BFF Ted Cruz won the Republican primary. But EVEN BETTER, remember how we told you about Rebecca Bradley, the judge...

New Hampshire’s Kelly Ayotte And Maggie Hassan Gonna Lady-Fight For Senate Seat

Happy Easter, Wonkers! We hope you have all been inspired by the annual rites celebrating the rebirth of pagan fertility gods as distilled through Christian cultural hegemony. Or that you'll at least chow down on half-priced chocolate bunnies tomorrow....
It's almost as if we wanted one of these gents to look bad.

Russ Feingold Seeks To Retake Senate Seat From Teabagger Crapsack Ron Johnson

We've got another fun Senate race for you this week, kids, and this one's actually a rematch: In Wisconsin, former Sen. Russ Feingold wants to win back the seat that teabagger, would-be Obamacare-murderer, and all around schmuck Ron Johnson...
Bet those kids can't wait to get back to the sun, sand, and occasional automatic weapons fire. Oh, and the rapes.

GOP Senator: Sure, Kids Deported To Honduras Might Die, But It’s So Pretty There

Remember how all those children were "invading" our southern border from Central America last year, and it was the greatest crisis America ever faced, until some guy in Texas had Ebola? Well it turns out that a lot of...
How dare he raise money to run against a Republican!

Wisconsin’s Russ Feingold Will Buy Old Senate Seat With Hollywood Jew Moneys

Former Wisconsin Sen. Russ Feingold is running to win back the seat he lost in 2010, and online rightwing rag Washington Free Beacon would just like you to know that he's getting a lot of money from Jews, Hollywood,...
Field notes: Subject 'Trumpy' issues 'pant-hoot' challenge immediately prior to flinging feces

Better Watch Your Mouth, Donald Trump Suing Everyone Who’s Mean To Him

Oh, that Donald Trump! He doesn't take it well when people say mean things about him, and he likes to bring a lawsuit now and then, especially when people make him mad by routing airplanes over his resort. Tuesday,...

The Thirteen Greatest Achievements In Throat Cramming Of 2013

Like most years when there's a Democrat in the White House, 2013 was a year of things getting rammed, crammed, jammed, shoved, and/or forced down our (America's) throats. How big were the things? So big. Were they hard to...

John Boehner Sobers Up Long Enough To Notice Conservatives Are Crazy People And Also Liars

Pity poor Weeper of the House John Boehner. He only just got the memo that conservatives are ... how shall we put this delicately? ... completely bugfuck insane: House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) on Thursday held firm in his criticism...

Senate GOP Rolls Up Sleeves, Gets To Work Blocking Every Obama Appointment

After a gloriously fulfilling celebratory circle-jerk for not 'killing the hostage' of the global economy, the Senate took a well-deserved two-week vacation. Unfortunately, tradition requires that they come back and find new ways to grab headlines without actually doing...

Senator Mike Lee Will Protect Poors By Protecting The Rich

Have you heard of Senator Mike Lee? Neither have we, all of these rich white guys look alike to us because we are reverse racist/sexists. Anyway, he has made it his business to stand out among the sea of...

Club For Growth Pres Will Now Explain Why Laying Off 47,000 People Will Help The Economy

You know what we DON’T need, especially in this economy? An agency dedicated to spurring economic growth, encouraging exports, and funding investment in local businesses, that’s what. Chris Chocola, a former Republican congressman and current president of the Club...