December 10, 2013
New poll proves it: the unwashed schizophrenic GOP primary voter hordes in Iowa are growing bored of saggy fat suit Newt Gingrich. Oh sure, DETAILS, Newt Gingrich still has the upper hand in the state’s angry clown knife fight FOR NOW, but his new numbers (22%) are down from previous weeks, i.e. looking as winded [...]
Donald Trump, America’s leading advertisement for burning all rich people to death in vats of poison waste oil, has bravely decided to follow all the GOP candidates for president by dropping out of the clown-show Republican debate he was scheduled to host. This is an unmitigated tragedy for political comedy and the “post-Xmas doldrums,” but [...]
A group of Tennessee conservatives say they were easily bilked out of $19 million because some guy said, “Hey give me all your money and I will make a Tea Party TeeVee Network, all about your favorite subject: yourselves.” And then the guy allegedly took the money and ran, and now the Tennessee teabaggers are [...]
Drooling pill addict Michele Bachmann continues to blurt clownish things so that YouTube will have more joke clips. What now?
America’s conscience, the Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen, has discovered a bright new light on his teevee screen! Let’s see, is there some vapid, invented political-media personality from 2008 that might impress this confused oldster as he navigates the complexities of a post-9/11 cable remote? Does she have literally nothing to do with politics and [...]
CNN, the once-influential news channel that for the past several years employed a mouth-breathing fool as its main daytime news reader, has finally fired this mouth-breathing fool. Was Rick Sanchez let go because he is an insult to the intelligence of anyone smart enough to operate a teevee remote? No, he was fired for saying [...]
In the Los Angeles suburb of Bell, California, several hundred angry citizens showed up at a city council meeting to demand that four of their five council members resign for earning exorbitant salaries and letting the town become an “epicenter of corruption,” the Wall Street Journal reports. Many people in attendance shouted and waved their [...]
America’s most exciting political movement (according to newspapers that are all going out of business) is the Tea Party! Never before has this nation seen such “energy” (fat white people in lawn chairs) or “passion” (racist, misspelled signs). From snowbilly grifter Sarah Palin to chocolate-sucking giant-baby serial-divorcer has-been Newt Gingrich, it seems all the Republican [...]
White House Correspondents’ Banquet! It was like a massive oil spill, but of shit, instead of oil. Last we heard from Jim Newell was at 12:44 a.m., by the way: “I am at msnbc afterparty. There are hamburgers and kc and the sunshine band are performing. It is epic.”
And how do we know, for sure, that this video is satirical in nature? Maybe that “Funny or Die” website just spent all weekend searching the YouTubes for the most insane example of current Birther pop art. Hell, it’s how we find the comedy! [Funny or Die]
Sarah Palin is so super-maverick-y now that she won’t even honor her vow to make a speech at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, where she was scheduled to speak at the Simi Valley Republican Ladies Group Fund-raiser for Republicans, a very widely reported exciting event that was to be her first public appearance since just [...]
The newly installed stooge/senator from Minnesota, veteran circus performer Al Franken, had to wait, what, eight months to assume office? And during that time he frittered away many an hour in court, wasting the People’s Money on the frivolous lawsuit that was eventually decided in his favor. Norm Coleman warned him from the very beginning [...]
Senator James Inhofe recently unleashed on Al Franken the most foul insult a short, liberal Jew from Minnesota can ever hope to hear: he called him a clown. And Franken took it like a gentleman, but you could tell he was mortally offended.
This is what the Muslims look like. [NYT]