Tag Archives: clowns

  how about those clowns in congress? What a bunch of clowns

Bob Dole: Evil Clown, Or Evilest Clown?

If you immediately knew it was a Checker Marathon airport limo you may be a nerd
In case you missed what could be the pivotal last-minute issue that decides the control of the Senate, (or just as likely, doesn’t), it would appear that a lot of Kansas Republicans are either genuinely outraged or perhaps pretending to be outraged that independent candidate Greg Orman kind of indirectly called Bob Dole a “clown” last Friday. Read more on Bob Dole: Evil Clown, Or Evilest Clown?…
  huge surprise

Iowa Starting To Remember It Never Really Liked Newt Gingrich

New poll proves it: the unwashed schizophrenic GOP primary voter hordes in Iowa are growing bored of saggy fat suit Newt Gingrich. Oh sure, DETAILS, Newt Gingrich still has the upper hand in the state’s angry clown knife fight FOR NOW, but his new numbers (22%) are down from previous weeks, i.e. looking as winded as Newt after a few flights of stairs. He is leading the race by a mere point over r<3LOVEution (oops, we have already forgotten the Paultard spelling for this thing?) sex god Ron Paul… which means according to standard-for-this-election-cycle prediction models, Ron Paul will be next week’s President of Iowa Polls, at last? Read more on Iowa Starting To Remember It Never Really Liked Newt Gingrich…
  the king of comedy

Parody Human Donald Trump Drops Out of His Own Dumb GOP Debate

Donald Trump, America’s leading advertisement for burning all rich people to death in vats of poison waste oil, has bravely decided to follow all the GOP candidates for president by dropping out of the clown-show Republican debate he was scheduled to host. This is an unmitigated tragedy for political comedy and the “post-Xmas doldrums,” but Trump hates America and he obviously hates comedy, so these are the breaks. According to the Fox News Twitter Channel (?), Trump just put out this statement: “I have decided not to be the moderator of the Newsmax debate.” NOOOOOOOOOO. Read more on Parody Human Donald Trump Drops Out of His Own Dumb GOP Debate…
  steal from the rich etc.

Tea Party People Bilked of $19 Million With Phony Wingnut TV Scheme

A group of Tennessee conservatives say they were easily bilked out of $19 million because some guy said, “Hey give me all your money and I will make a Tea Party TeeVee Network, all about your favorite subject: yourselves.” And then the guy allegedly took the money and ran, and now the Tennessee teabaggers are suing him because they are “judicial activists.” One of the dupes is/was Michele Bachmann’s state campaign finance director, so it’s good to know that Bachmann maintains her high standards nationwide. And even at the reduced-expectations definition of a “television network” in 2011 — a website with a video plugin — the “Tea Party HD” scam was magical. According to the lawsuit, “It was an investment scheme to defraud politically conservative-minded citizens who support the Tea Party mission.” Sucks to be a sucka! Read more on Tea Party People Bilked of $19 Million With Phony Wingnut TV Scheme…
  america's greatest columnist

Dumb Old Man Wanks To John McCain’s Daughter

America’s conscience, the Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen, has discovered a bright new light on his teevee screen! Let’s see, is there some vapid, invented political-media personality from 2008 that might impress this confused oldster as he navigates the complexities of a post-9/11 cable remote? Does she have literally nothing to do with politics and zero standing in the party she claims to be tangentially connected to? This is a … a … YOUTH TREND! Read more on Dumb Old Man Wanks To John McCain’s Daughter…
  jews did rick sanchez

CNN Fires Rick Sanchez, But Not For Obvious Reason of Being Dumb

CNN, the once-influential news channel that for the past several years employed a mouth-breathing fool as its main daytime news reader, has finally fired this mouth-breathing fool. Was Rick Sanchez let go because he is an insult to the intelligence of anyone smart enough to operate a teevee remote? No, he was fired for saying idiotic things on a satellite radio channel. The Jews won this round, Sanchez! Guess you’ll have to go back to Cuba. Wait, what? Read more on CNN Fires Rick Sanchez, But Not For Obvious Reason of Being Dumb…
  Not every clown is sad

Clown Tries Out Comedy Routine At Public Meeting-Riot

In the Los Angeles suburb of Bell, California, several hundred angry citizens showed up at a city council meeting to demand that four of their five council members resign for earning exorbitant salaries and letting the town become an “epicenter of corruption,” the Wall Street Journal reports. Many people in attendance shouted and waved their arms around, but the highlight was a patriotic circus clown who took advantage of the moment to tell jokes about rattlesnakes and lawyers, or rattlesnake-lawyers. (It’s hard to hear him, what with all the yelling.) Read more on Clown Tries Out Comedy Routine At Public Meeting-Riot…
  new study proves it

Teabaggers Are Just 2% of American Population

America’s most exciting political movement (according to newspapers that are all going out of business) is the Tea Party! Never before has this nation seen such “energy” (fat white people in lawn chairs) or “passion” (racist, misspelled signs). From snowbilly grifter Sarah Palin to chocolate-sucking giant-baby serial-divorcer has-been Newt Gingrich, it seems all the Republican fringe figures who can’t actually stay in office want a piece of the Teabagger Phenomenon. Well, there are not that many pieces to go around. Do not mistake the obesity of a particular teabagger for lots of individual teabaggers. Read more on Teabaggers Are Just 2% of American Population…
  at least he made politico jokes

Fine, Here’s Your Barack Obama Comedy Routine

White House Correspondents’ Banquet! It was like a massive oil spill, but of shit, instead of oil. Last we heard from Jim Newell was at 12:44 a.m., by the way: “I am at msnbc afterparty. There are hamburgers and kc and the sunshine band are performing. It is epic.” Read more on Fine, Here’s Your Barack Obama Comedy Routine…
  cartoon violence

Political Cartoons Become Self-Aware; Humanity Doomed

By the Comics Curmudgeon People, have you seen the famous terrible violent movie this summer, where the Batman is yelling angrily at the robots who became sentient and killed us all? And then also the other similarly terrible movies about the robots that are also cars, and also self-aware? Well, what if something like that were to happen, except instead of awesome robot cars, they were POLITICAL CARTOONS? Obviously, it would be significantly less terrifying and box-office-tastic, and it would look a little something like THIS. Read more on Political Cartoons Become Self-Aware; Humanity Doomed…
  america's clowns

Wait, Is It Even Possible To Parody Tea Party Birthers?

And how do we know, for sure, that this video is satirical in nature? Maybe that “Funny or Die” website just spent all weekend searching the YouTubes for the most insane example of current Birther pop art. Hell, it’s how we find the comedy! [Funny or Die] Read more on Wait, Is It Even Possible To Parody Tea Party Birthers?…
  quitters

Sarah Palin Pisses On Ronald Reagan’s Grave

Sarah Palin is so super-maverick-y now that she won’t even honor her vow to make a speech at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, where she was scheduled to speak at the Simi Valley Republican Ladies Group Fund-raiser for Republicans, a very widely reported exciting event that was to be her first public appearance since just quitting the governorship of Alaska because fuck those people, right? Read more on Sarah Palin Pisses On Ronald Reagan’s Grave…
  sellouts

Al Franken Now Beholden To Republican Special Interests

The newly installed stooge/senator from Minnesota, veteran circus performer Al Franken, had to wait, what, eight months to assume office? And during that time he frittered away many an hour in court, wasting the People’s Money on the frivolous lawsuit that was eventually decided in his favor. Norm Coleman warned him from the very beginning that The People would not look kindly on this frivolity and wasteful spending! Which is why it’s funny that Minnesota’s Republican Party has had to cut Franken a check for $96,000 to cover lawsuit-related fees. Read more on Al Franken Now Beholden To Republican Special Interests…
  annals of diplomacy

Inhofe Makes Nice With Clown

Senator James Inhofe recently unleashed on Al Franken the most foul insult a short, liberal Jew from Minnesota can ever hope to hear: he called him a clown. And Franken took it like a gentleman, but you could tell he was mortally offended. Read more on Inhofe Makes Nice With Clown…