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Posts Tagged “Clips”

ruined

Alan Keyes Loses Constitution Party Nomination!

In what pundits have described as "the most contentious" nomination battle in the Constitution Party's 16-year history, famous nut Alan Keyes has lost the bid to radio host Chuck Baldwin in a blatant act of white racism. The party held its national convention in Kansas City over the weekend and selected Baldwin over the towering figure of Keyes by a vote of 384-126. Thus ends Alan Keyes' winding path towards the White House in 2008, the highlight of which was this hilarious performance at a Republican debate in December, which we honor in the above clip. [Kansas City Star]

must be some votin up in here

It's Hillary's Friends, And Stephanie Tubbs Jones Shouting!

Here is some video from last night's Hillary Clinton rally at the University of Pennsylvania, including Stephanie Tubbs Jones getting fired up and having a verbal hernia. There's a cappella and some cameraman giving Liz the middle finger. Then the Mayor of Philadelphia, Michael Nutter, says "MUST BE SOME VOTIN GETTIN READY TO HAPPEN UP IN HERE." Then Chelsea comes on and says "my mom and my dad blah blah blah, I am the human in this family." Then Bill Clinton lies, he lies a lot. You've never heard someone lie more in your life than you have Bill Clinton at a rally for his wife. But he sounds so nice, still. Then they play a song from the Ford commercials, the end.

let's play hardball

Barack Obama Calls Chris Matthews (And Cable News) A Joke


Chris Matthews' beloved Hardball show had been visiting yet another demographic that has no interest in political shows on cable television: College kids! But it was a lot of fun for everyone, especially when Matthews' wacky light-hearted question ended up being a total setup for Obama to call him a jackass. [Campaign Circus]


women

'The View' Ladies Act Like Themselves With Barack Obama

Barack Obama was on teevee's female program The View this morning. These ladies are all really terrible and how any of them got famous, historians will never quite understand. So here they are shouting "YOU'RE VERY SEXY" in Obama's face, the end.

everyone is racist

Civil War at Fox News Over Obama Bashing!

This Jeremiah Wright/Racist Grandma scandal has gotten so out-of-hand that it's developed some strange new scandal aesthetic — Post-out-of-hand. This stage in scandal evolution can only happen when perennial twit Chris Wallace, of Fox News, criticizes his own network for smearing Obama unfairly. And that is exactly what happened on this morning's Fox & Friends. So let's try this out: Th-th-thank you, Chris... Chris Wallace? [Shudder]. And this wasn't even the best part from this morning's Fox & Friends! After the jump, watch the least-of-three-evils host, Brian Kilmeade, get so upset about the Obama bashing that he storms off the set, like a hobo! [UPDATE: The RedLasso player was crashing many browsers, so we have combined the two clips into one tour de force of hilarious Fox infighting! Brian Kilmeade walking off the set is first; Chris Wallace's heroic stand begins with two (2) minutes left in the video].

the race speech

Barack Obama Will Unite Everything With His Speaking

The people on the teevee are saying this speech will define Barack Obama's candidacy, because it is about race. Yes, his entire campaign is 100% about race. Or something? We'll leave that to the Professional Experts like Joe Scarborough. Still, good job once again, Barry — this little number had some bite. And since he'll lose Pennsylvania anyway, not a bad time to get this off his chest.

more things barack obama doesn't need

Tracy Morgan Endorses Obama On Saturday Night Live


Over the years, Saturday Night Live has witnessed a dramatic evolution in its black acting talent: from a hilarious actor who happens to be a crack addict (Garrett Morris) to a hilarious actor who imitates crack addicts (Eddie Murphy) to an unfunny actor who happens to be drunk most of the time (Tracy Morgan). Here's former SNL cast member Tracy Morgan endorsing Barack Obama and mumbling something about government cheese. We are looking forward to Inauguration Day 2009, when President John McCain personally bombs Saturday Night Live from his Space Rascal.

quitters

Eliot Spitzer Resigns, Silda Wall Offers Icy Death Glare

Here's our friendly New York Governor Eliot Spitzer resigning, with his wife, who still really doesn't want to be there. Uh, did she read Dina McGreevey's NYT column this morning? She gave all victimized political wives the right to not stand next to their husbands. Maybe Silda just wanted to make him look like more of a wretch, and she did a good job of that.

eliot spitzer's whores

Eliot Spitzer Actually Resigning This Time

But he just wanted to get laid! By a hooker! For $4,300 billion! And now he's resigning, effective next Monday for some strange reason. What is this, Gay France? [NYP]

sissies

Magical Politicians Make Children Swoon

Hey look, it's a study of why everyone is fainting so damn much at Barack and Hillary's speeches. Why doesn't the Main Stream Media show the numerous fainting wicket goblins at Ron Paul's rallies though? America is not ready to elect a wicket goblin as president, Dr. Sanjay Gupta advises.

denounce him

No, YOU Cursed, Brokaw

Tom Brokaw said "ass" tonight, and he should be fired from whatever job he has.

msnbc will solve the election

It's Almost Three A.M., And MSNBC Is Killing Your Babies

Here's MSNBC's panel debating the merits of Hillary's ad — political effectiveness vs. truth vs. fearmongering. What this tense debate reveals: Rachel Maddow is a libtard; Eugene Robinson is a moderate liberal; Pat Buchanan is an old white Republican; Joe Scarborough is a younger douchebag Republican. Who knew?

the race card

Joe Scarborough Pulls Out Old 'Tom Brokaw' Insult

Hey Eugene Robinson, Joe Scarborough says, why don't you go "Tom Brokaw" yourself, you gay little wicket goblin. Zing! Talk about getting DEFENESTRATED BY PROFESSIONALS.

the terrorists killing babies debate

Barack Rips Hillary's Scary Ad With Silly Parody

Ha ha, what the hell is wrong with Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton? Clinton released her horrifying "a terrorist calls you at 3 a.m. and threatens to kill your babies, unless Hillary Clinton is president" ad this morning, and that defensive Obama has released a direct, snippy response already! His version — after the jump — is more like "a terrorist calls you at 3 a.m. and threatens to kill your babies, and Barack Obama never supported the War in Iraq." More »

vetting obama

Frumpy Tim Russert Examines Barack's Various Prejudices

As everyone in Chicago knows, Barack Obama’s two best black friends are Islamist leader Louis Farrakhan and Jeremiah Wright, Barack’s anti-white preacher. Why does Barack consort with them? Will he bring hope to America’s white Jews when he’s sultan? Tim Russert is determined to know.

ohio debate clips

Conspiracists Destroy Hillary With Sexist Commercial Breaks

MSNBC and the Main Stream Media’s latest coup against the “House of Clinton” — they are conspiring to not let her talk during the very conspicuously timed commercial breaks. This is a very old “yellow journalism” ploy, invented by David Shuster.

angry tweety

Chris Matthews Angrily Harasses Obama Supporter To Death

Yikes. What’s gotten into Our Chris Matthews? He’s apparently a Clinton fan now! Watch him harass this Texas state senator, an Obama supporter, for several minutes. He DEMANDS the senator name a single Barack Obama accomplishment. To quote Matthews: “Sir, you have to give me his accomplishments. You’ve supported him for president, you’re on national television, name his legislative accomplishments, Barack Obama’s, sir.” Is Tweety having his period?

i'm young i'm fly

Barack Goes Negative on Mexico's John McCain

Dashing Barack Hussein Obama was also daring Barack Hussein Obama tonight — he calls out John McCain by name! Usually the way it works is, “some old white grumpy senators might claim” such and such. But Barry hates Iraq and its Emperor McCain with all the Hope he can muster, and he dares speak the snake’s name.