Tag: clint eastwood

New #NeverTrump Plan To Stop Donald Trump Is BRB CAN’T STOP GIGGLING

Maybe this would work! Or maybe there would be riots!
And is India even grateful that we saved them from Saddam Hussein? No they are not.

Fox News Explains How American Snipers Saved India From Saddam Hussein

In case you missed it, the latest litmus test for whether you Love America Enough is whether you are an enthusiastic supporter of the movie American Sniper, which you have to love or you are a hater. You see,...
The moment Rick Scott lost the election

In Florida Election, The Rick Just Hit The Fan

In what any Very Serious Journalist would consider a disqualifying move that requires the Republican Party to abandon the race completely, Florida Gov. Rick Scott refused to debate his Democratic opponent, the former Republican and former governor of Florida...
Clint! Clint! Clint!

Secret Service Didn’t Notice Bullets Hit White House, Is That Bad?

Sometime today Julia Pierson, the director of the Secret Service, will sit at a witness table in front of the House Oversight Committee and its chairman, the always execrable Rep. Darrell Issa, and try to answer a few questions....

Harry Reid Wants To Save Nevada Prostitutes From 2016 Republican National Convention

Even though our Kenyan Dictator B. Barry Bamz was re-crowned only last year, it is already time to start thinking about the next Presidential election, which also means it is still time to stab ourselves in the eye with...

Hot New Conservative Film Will Save You From Mexicans, Why Not

Were you lying around this morning, wallowing in your own filth and despair, wishing that a movie would come along and yell at you about how the American government has failed to secure the borders and one man will...

Romney Voted Against Himself In 2010 Family Poll, Still Had To Run For President

In deciding to run for President in 2012, Mitt Romney ignored his family's advice and his own vote in an informal family poll, according to an upcoming campaign book obtained by the Huffington Post. Sam Stein reports that over...

NSA Leaks: Too Many Dare Call It ‘Treason’

Lord but is this NSA shitfuffle giving some of our elected officials and political figures a chance to do their best impressions of spaghetti-western-era Clint Eastwood (which for our money is the best era Clint Eastwood - we would...

Here Is The Sad Tale Of Some Jerk Messing Up Nice Michigan Couple’s Clever Lynched-Obama-Chair Yard Art

Ken and Judy David of Grand Haven Township, Michigan, how do you feel about the "surprise" you got Wednesday morning, when some total jerk messed up your cool and witty Lynched Obama Chair display by adding another chair to...

Mitt Romney Is An Idiot For Letting Clint Eastwood Speak, Explains Clint Eastwood

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player Hey, everybody cannot be good at everything. Che Guevara, for instance, was very good at being sexy and riding his motorcycle and killing people, but very bad at being Minister of Factories or whatever for...

National Empty Chair Day: A Measured Response To Mild Mockery Of Clint Eastwood

As you might be aware, last week Clint Eastwood stood up on national TV and gave a rambling, incoherent speech in which he berated a chair he said had an invisible, profane black president in it. (SPOILER: IT WAS...

Fox News Suddenly Loves Hollywood Elitists After Clint Eastwood Yelled At A Chair

You guys, pity poor Hollie Mckay, entertainment/celebrity columnist and writer of the "Pop Tarts" column on the Fox News website! Most people in her line of work get to just wallow in America's sleaze and degradation openly in...

Here Is A Picture Of Your Wonket With Clint Eastwood, Right After His Terrific RNC Speech

Oh, nothin' much. You? Bonus Clint Eastwoods after the jump!

Clint Eastwood Cries All The Time, Berates Chairs

The Republican National Convention was interrupted for 15 minutes last night after an 82-year-old man wandered onstage and began muttering to a chair he believed to be the president of the United States. He was interrupted several times by...

Karl Rove ‘Offended’ By Dull Ad Promoting Major U.S. Company

Tucked amid the Stupor Bowl teevee commercials for naked chocolate candies, cheesy salt chips, war pornography, and the latest domestic water-beers was this one featuring old Clint Eastwood, the next Bat-Man, scouring stadium catacombs for the The Joker or...