Tag Archives: climate change

  Have A Koch And A Smile

Koch Brothers: Sorry, 1st Amendment Won’t Let Us Divulge How We’re Buying Climate-Change Deniers

We built this!
The recent revelation that Wei-Hock Soon, one of the top “respectable” climate change deniers out there, gets most of his funding from the coal and oil industry has led Congressional Democrats to attempt to Follow The Money in the climate denial business. Well! Charles and David Koch will have you climate busybodies know that it is none of your damn business how they spend their money, which is a form of speech, and you should be ashamed of yourselves for even asking. Read more on Koch Brothers: Sorry, 1st Amendment Won’t Let Us Divulge How We’re Buying Climate-Change Deniers…
  fiddling while miami drowns

Florida Sees, Hears, And Speaks No Climate Change. Also: Sinks Into The Sea

Oh HAI impending doom.
Perhaps you’ve heard that, thanks to [redacted] and its associated rising sea levels, Miami is very soon likely going to underwater. Tampa, too. And you would think that, were you the governor of the state that includes those two rather large cities, you might want to do something about it, or at least have your scientists talk about doing something about it. Read more on Florida Sees, Hears, And Speaks No Climate Change. Also: Sinks Into The Sea…
  Science Is Hard So Don't Believe It

Scientists Directly Observe Greenhouse Effect, Like That Proves Anything

Atmospheric Emitted Radiance Interferometer near Barrow, Alaska. Note that there's still snow. SO FAKE.
In some pretty cool science that won’t change the mind of a single climate denier, climate scientists have observed carbon dioxide trapping heat in the atmosphere, which you’d think would be enormously important evidence that would put an end to the “debate” over global warming. We’re going to have to call Salon’s headline about the news just a tad optimistic, though: “Scientists stick it to climate deniers: Study provides direct evidence that human activity is causing global warming.” Read more on Scientists Directly Observe Greenhouse Effect, Like That Proves Anything…
  Case settled then

Sen. Inhofe: If Global Warming Is Real, Where Did I Get This Snowball?

He's got your 'global warming' right here!
Oklahoma Republican Sen. James (“Jim” to his friends, “Dickface” to most of America) Inhofe knows global warming is a hoax, as he has proven repeatedly, why won’t you dumb people listen to him instead of all those “scientists” who say otherwise? (No, not the scientists paid by the oil and gas industry to deny climate change is real; the other 99 percent of scientists who say yes it is TOO real.) Read more on Sen. Inhofe: If Global Warming Is Real, Where Did I Get This Snowball?…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Shoot-Out At The Not-Okay Corral

Dear Princess Celestia: Why do you hate Free Speach?
Oh, it has been a busy week in Deleted Comments land! Thanks to our switchover to Disqus, the comments are a bit more Wild West-y than they had been — in Olden times, new commenters had to be approved, but now, Yr Moderators have to patrol the dusty streets and clear them of miscreants who shamble into view. Happily, you Wonkers are all deputized to help us keep our comments section a happy Radical Liberal Secularist Leftist Libunatic playground as well, via the “flag” option that appears when you move your mouse over any comment, like so: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Shoot-Out At The Not-Okay Corral…
  location location causation

Pricey New York Real Estate Proves Global Warming Is A Hoax, Obviously

parking not included
Were you concerned conservatives would never locate the real “smoking gun” that proves the Great Global Warming Hoax? Well, hold on to your coal, Holy Rollers, because Breitbart LLC finally unearthed definitive proof of the Greenstapo’s climate conspiracy: New York City real estate is really fucking expensive! Read more on Pricey New York Real Estate Proves Global Warming Is A Hoax, Obviously…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: In Which The League Of The South Weeps And Whines

Princess Sunbutt Will Rise Again!
Gosh golly, Wonkers, have we got a fine load of Dumbth for you this week! We heard from global warming deniers, a creationist, an anti-vaxxer, and a genuine neo-Confederate Southern Patriot who apparently does not actually realize which side lost the War of Southern Treason. Obviously, we need to start with that special snowflake first. Our Friday story about the League of the South’s Lincoln’s-Birthday commemoration of John Wilkes Booth drew a comment from one “Pat Hines,” who has featured in previous Dear Shitferbrains columns. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: In Which The League Of The South Weeps And Whines…
  Sounds Like Heresy To Us

Shell Oil CEO Believes In Global Warming Because He Is A Dirty Hippie Obviously

He's secretly sick of that shade of yellow
This should be fun for Fox News to explain away: The CEO of Royal Dutch Shell, Ben van Beurden, said at an energy industry conference in London that climate change is real and that a system of pricing carbon would be the best way to start reducing CO2 emissions. It’s almost as if the guy were some kind of radical leftist who hates prosperity! Read more on Shell Oil CEO Believes In Global Warming Because He Is A Dirty Hippie Obviously…
  Warmed-Over Science Denial

Fox News: Science Is A Hoax That Steals Our Freedom And Driving Privileges

God, that's just so dumb. Doesn't Obama even care that Americans are DYING?
Fox News found yet another reason to declare President Barack Obama totally DUMM Wednesday, because the stupidhead president made a factual statement that is also totally outrageous and stupid. In his recent interview with Vox, Obama said that yes, terrorism is bad and serious, but the media also exaggerates the threat of terrorism to the average American because it makes for good television, while threats like climate change, which will affect everyone on the planet, don’t get as much coverage because they don’t make for exciting TV. Read more on Fox News: Science Is A Hoax That Steals Our Freedom And Driving Privileges…
  Is ISIS Attacking Our Weather? We're Just Asking!

Climate Scientists Do Normal Science Thing, Proving Global Warming A Total Hoax

Among climate deniers, these are usually in a twist.
Well, here’s a hell of a surprise. Fox News has presented a misleading story bout climate science! Yes, you may want to sit down before reading any further! Media Matters does the heavy lifting on this one, tracing how one seriously misleading op-ed column by Christopher Booker in the right-leaning London Telegraph on Jan. 7 has spread throughout the Right-o-sphere. And Booker makes it sound like one hell of a scandal all right: Climate scientists have been systematically adjusting temperature readings from weather stations all over the world! Booker called it a “wholesale manipulation of the official temperature record” and “one of the greatest scientific scandals of all time.” And by golly, he sure did prove that a blogger looked at many temperature readings and found the original records were indeed adjusted in later publications, which is all the proof you need to know that the scientists are just making things up to scare people. In particular, daily temperature readings from stations in Paraguay had been adjusted to show higher temperatures than the original readings. Fraud! Fraud! Read more on Climate Scientists Do Normal Science Thing, Proving Global Warming A Total Hoax…
  Science: Don't Let It Happen To Your Kids!

Utah Puts Science Standards On Hold, Demands More Local Control Of Reality

Republican science standards adopted
Congratulations go out to the great state of Utah, which is in the process of revising its state science education standards for the first time in nearly 20 years. The new proposed standards will be phased in, starting with grades six, seven, and eight, and will emphasize more direct, hands-on experimentation along with classroom lectures and labs, to encourage scientific thinking. But this being a Wonkette story that doesn’t have “Nice Time” in the headline, you already know, Dear Reader, what’s coming next: there’s just one or two teensy-tiny problems that some people are having with bringing Utah’s science education into the 21st century, and they have to do with the fact that the proposed science standards include too much darned science for some people’s tastes. Because of complaints from parents, the Utah Board of Education has put on hold plans to move the new standards to their next stage, a public-comment period. Read more on Utah Puts Science Standards On Hold, Demands More Local Control Of Reality…
  The Sun's Just The Right Height

Mitt Romney’s Climate Change Flip Flops Accelerating At Alarming Rate

2014 was the planet’s hottest year since our species learned how to transcribe temperatures onto paper. While much of the globe wilted like Rick Perry under stage lights (hey-o!), our Congress ho-hummed as Republicans continued to dismiss “science” as mere propaganda from nefarious, agenda-driven “scientists” all over the globe.  And there’s someone who’s not happy about this at all. Read more on Mitt Romney’s Climate Change Flip Flops Accelerating At Alarming Rate…
  Here have some news n stuff

Good Job, Everyone! 2014 Was The Hottest Year Ever, And It’s All Our Fault

We set a new record in 2014, heating our oceans and destroying this one and only planet we live on, but it’s OK because some “scientist” somewhere says it’s a hoax and God will take care of it anyway. High fives and trophies and gold stars for everybody! Read more on Good Job, Everyone! 2014 Was The Hottest Year Ever, And It’s All Our Fault…
  Here have some news n stuff

Parents Let Kids Walk Around Neighborhood Unsupervised, Are Terrible Parents Obviously

But where are the parents?!?
There are terrible parents who do terrible things to their children, and they probably shouldn’t be parents and should not have children. Like parents who beat the ever-lovin’ crap out of their kids (yes, even if they are sportsball stars). Or make baby pose with a gun because LOL, it’s not loaded, what could go wrong? And they deserve to have jackbooted thugs take their children away from them. And then there is idiotic stuff like this: Read more on Parents Let Kids Walk Around Neighborhood Unsupervised, Are Terrible Parents Obviously…
  They're Doing Science And We're Still Alive

Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio Now In Charge Of Murdering Science In The Senate

We'd watch this, actually
It’s a great day to not believe in science, America! Sen. John Thune, chair of the Senate Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee, has picked the perfect heads for two science subcommittees: Ted Cruz, who doesn’t like NASA doing science related to global warming, will head the Subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness. And Marco Rubio, another climate denier and one of the first adopters of the “I’m not a scientist” meme, will chair the Subcommittee on Oceans, Atmosphere, Fisheries and Coast Guard, which of course has oversight of NOAA, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Gentlemen, start your fox and henhouse clichés! Read more on Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio Now In Charge Of Murdering Science In The Senate…
  winning the war on coal

2014 Was A Pretty Great Year For The Environment. Really!

The Garden of Earthly Delights by ExxonMobil
This post brought to you by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Blogging Chair For Something Nice For Once At first it looked like 2014 was going to be more of the same bullshit. On Jan. 9, a chemical spill in West Virginia’s Elk River contaminated the drinking water of some 16 percent of the state’s population. Freedom Industries, the company responsible, was soon revealed to be a malodorous pit of corruption and grabassery that seemed almost too stupid to be real. Read more on 2014 Was A Pretty Great Year For The Environment. Really!…
  What The (Bleep!) Does Anyone Know?

2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’

Science: now officially optional!
We know that politicians actually started saying “I’m not a scientist” well before 2014 — Marco Rubio adopted it in 2012 when asked how old the earth was — but this was definitely the year it became Republicans’ go-to strategy for avoiding journalists’ questions about global warming and/or evolution. On matters of climate, it’s a fine supplement to the previous favorite dodge, “I believe the climate is always changing.” And what a fine year of not-science the Right has given us! Read more on 2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’…
  Has this guy even read the Bible?

New Pope Wants To Save Planet From Climate Change, Like That’s A Thing

we didn't know you're allowed to have a pope who doesn't look like a sith lord
Is there no limit to the new pope’s willingness to reject right-wing ideology because it’s, you know, stupid? In addition to getting his hands dirty with poor people and telling American bishops to chill the eff out on all of their “social issues,” Pope Francis is also a tree-hugging envirofascist who has swallowed the vegan Kool-Aid and believes climate change is A Real Thing. And not just A Real Thing, but A Real Thing that we mere mortals should address instead of just hoping God sorts it out for us. Read more on New Pope Wants To Save Planet From Climate Change, Like That’s A Thing…
  How High's The water Mama?

Louisiana Accidentally Elects Republican Who Thinks Science Is Real

He looks serious.
Here is a surprise! It turns out that Garret Graves, the Republican who won Saturday’s election to fill the seat of Louisiana Congressman-and-now-Senator-elect Bill Cassidy, actually believes that science is real! He doesn’t deny global warming, and even helped develop plans for how Louisiana should deal with the effects of rising sea levels when he served as Gov. Bobby Jindal’s “coastal czar” — though maybe since czars are evil and bad, maybe he was more of a majordomo. He actually said that rising sea levels would be bad for Louisiana one time. Read more on Louisiana Accidentally Elects Republican Who Thinks Science Is Real…
  Here have some news n stuff

RINO George W. Bush Totally Supports Obama’s Goal Of Beating Bad Guys

Is this guy even a Republican?
George Dubya gave an interview on CNN and said some stuff. Like how when he heard about the grand jury in New York refusing to indict the cop who choked Eric Garner to death, it made him “sad that race continues to play such a, you know, kind of emotional, divisive part of life.” And how if his brother Jeb runs for president, he will SO full-on win. And also how it was a real comfort to him sometimes, when he was president, that his daddy had been president too, because his daddy could, like, totally get it, man. Read more on RINO George W. Bush Totally Supports Obama’s Goal Of Beating Bad Guys…