Tag Archives: climate change

  You'll have clean air and like it

President Obama Sends Climate Change Memo To America’s Idiots

So remember how President Obama planned to spend his summer vacation trying to save the world? Done and done, apparently. Why the president is still convinced we need some sort of “plan” to deal with our impending doom is utterly beyond us. We all saw Sen. Jim Inhofe’s snowball indisputably proving climate change is a hoax perpetrated by some dumb money-grubbing scientists. And the pope. And the rest of the world. But the president has decided that trying to cram clean power down our throats is a good use of his time. When he’s not on the golf course, that is, HAW HAW HAW. Read more on President Obama Sends Climate Change Memo To America’s Idiots…
  Yep he's just trolling now

Donald Trump Knows Climate Change Is Just Classy, Luxurious Version Of Weather

The effects of climate change, weather, whatever you want to call it.
Donald Trump would build a YOOOOOOOGE fence around climate change, if it even existed: “The real climate change is going to be nuclear climate change if we’re not smart and tough and very, very careful because that’s a big danger and that’s a real danger,” Trump said. “I think Obama just said that the biggest threat that we have on the planet today is climate change, and a lot of people are saying, did he really say that? We have people chopping off heads and he’s talking about climate change. I call it weather. I call it weather. You know, the weather changes.” Read more on Donald Trump Knows Climate Change Is Just Classy, Luxurious Version Of Weather…
  Actually Most Mad Scientists Are Just Engineers

Hillary Clinton Whips Out Her Big Science Brain To Make Republicans Jealous

Science: It's hard.
Here’s Hillary Clinton’s new campaign ad, a pleasant if not incredibly edgy Old-Horror-Movie smack at all the Republicans who are simultaneously not scientists but 103 percent sure there’s no such thing as Global Warming. Wisely, the gothic horror subtitles are kept to a minimum, giving the not-scientists plenty of time to say dumb things so we can yell at the screen, “No, you’re wrong! That’s not right at all! You are a stupid, stupid person to think that!” And it closes with a web address for Clinton’s email sign-up page, although it takes a couple more clicks to actually reach her detailed policy goals on renewable energy. She takes the radical position that climate change is real, when any fool knows she should be telling women to get married and have babies for a better America. Read more on Hillary Clinton Whips Out Her Big Science Brain To Make Republicans Jealous…
  Almost as popular as Donald Trump

Conservatives Hate New Pope Now, For Being Dumb Commie Tree-Hugger

Is he even Catholic?
They really don’t make popes like they used to. You know, the kind who may have sorta kinda been in the Hitler Youth — but reluctantly! And then kinda sorta tried to cover up all that unpleasantness about Catholic priests raping all the children, and bishops keeping it on the down low, when he was a lowly cardinal. And then, as Lord God King Pope of the Universe, gone around talking about how God made girls like this, and God made boys like that, and homos and feminists are fucking it all up, goddamnit, plus those uppity radical feminist nuns, boy, they’re a real problem. Read more on Conservatives Hate New Pope Now, For Being Dumb Commie Tree-Hugger…
  Get Your Nerd On

John Lewis Is A Comics Superhero, Prepare For Ludicrous Speed, And Earth 2.0: Your Saturday Nerd-Out

He went for period accuracy where possible, but left out the tear gas and clubs
Happy Saturday, and welcome to your moment of Nerding: Just a few stories that we thought were pretty cool because they appeal to the geek in us. Real Life Superhero Cosplays As Himself For starters, how about congressman John Lewis of Georgia, attending his second Comic-Con last Saturday and getting into the whole cosplay scene, dressing as a character from March: Book 2, the comics memoir that he co-wrote with former campaign aide Andrew Aydin, with art by Nate Powell. To be specific, Lewis decided to dress up as the “John Lewis in 1965″ character from the book. The Washington Post had a lovely story this week about how it all happened: Read more on John Lewis Is A Comics Superhero, Prepare For Ludicrous Speed, And Earth 2.0: Your Saturday Nerd-Out…
  No Extra Credit For Acknowledging Reality

Lindsey Graham Isn’t A Scientist, But He Thinks Scientists Know Stuff. He’s Doomed.

Yes it's a pony. But it could have been a pic of Lindsey Graham. Count your blessings.
Loath though we are to ever say anything especially nice about Lindsey Graham, given his penchant for wanting to send Americans to bomb as many distant lands as possible, we have to give him an “attaboy” on his remarkably sane remarks about climate change on that Seth Meyers TV show t’other night. Read more on Lindsey Graham Isn’t A Scientist, But He Thinks Scientists Know Stuff. He’s Doomed….
  What's All This About NASA And Some Puto?

Ted Cruz Super Excited By NASA Pluto Flyby, Still Wants To Murder NASA

He's the Urban Spaceman, baby, here comes the twist: He hates scie-en-tists!
Hey, how about that exciting NASA flyby of Pluto? The incredibly cool New Horizons spacecraft passed within about 7,800 miles of the dwarf planet, and got the most detailed photographs of its surface ever. And Sen. Ted Cruz, who fancies himself a huge fan of the Final Frontier, was pretty jazzed about it too, telling Politico, “This is a historic milestone in space exploration,” and informing the National Journal that this was an example of “NASA doing what it does best, pushing the boundaries of our imagination by traveling to the unknown.” Because, as we’ve noted before, what Ted Cruz thinks NASA needs to be doing is concentrating on stuff that is far away from Earth — the real space science, not all the stupid wasteful research that NASA has been doing on our own planet, which isn’t in space at all, and also isn’t even good science, as Ted Cruz understands science. Which is badly. Read more on Ted Cruz Super Excited By NASA Pluto Flyby, Still Wants To Murder NASA…
  Fire Island Causes Global Warming

Rick Santorum: Know What Really Makes Sea Levels Rise? Gay Marriage.

Also, we should slash NASA's budget and give it to sidewalk anti-abortion counselors
Pathetic self-parody Rick Santorum took to The Fox and The Friends Sunday to explain how to fix the Supreme Court, after it broke America last week, and make America all better again, and the way to do that is for presidents to stop wasting time talking about fake stuff like “Global Warming” and to instead save the American family from turning all gay. Read more on Rick Santorum: Know What Really Makes Sea Levels Rise? Gay Marriage….
  Stay Cool Boy

Saving Planet Would Save Lots Of Money Too, Go Figure!

Yeah, but that's just, like, your opinion, man
Looks like the socialist science fiends at Global Warming Hoax Headquarters have decided to fight dirty: Now they’re saying that preventing catastrophic climate change would actually cost a lot less money than just letting things go all to hell. That’s pretty underhanded, using science facts to appeal to people’s self-interest! A new EPA report, Climate Change in the United States: Benefits of Global Action, projects how the USA would benefit from international action to limit global temperature increases to 2 degrees Celsius above pre-industrial levels, versus the costs of allowing temperature increases to continue at current rates. It’s pretty impressive, until you remind yourself that scientists paid by the oil industry reassure us global warming is all just a myth. Read more on Saving Planet Would Save Lots Of Money Too, Go Figure!…
  Whoopee We're All Gonna Die

Life On Earth Doomed, Everybody Panic. Or Go Shopping, Whatever

We won't even have to bother with nukes!
Excuse me, don’t want to alarm anyone, but it’s looking like we’re further along the road to the end of the current era of life on Earth than we thought. We’re not just talking about humanity dying off in a few hundred years; we’re talking Sixth Major Extinction stuff. Don’t worry, your stock portfolio will be fine. Just don’t invest in any thousand-year bonds, because a new study published in Science Advances, indicates that, “using extremely conservative assumptions,” extinctions of vertebrate species — that’s everything with a spine, from tree frogs to blue whales — are dying off at increasing rates. Biggest mass die-off of species since the dinosaurs. Life on the planet will undoubtedly continue, but we big clumsy mammals are probably goners: Read more on Life On Earth Doomed, Everybody Panic. Or Go Shopping, Whatever…
  Are Side Bets Allowed?

Science Nerds To Climate Deniers: Wanna Bet ‘Climate Change’ Isn’t Real? For Real, Wanna Bet?

And Hitler believed in germs!
We’re pretty sure this counts as Nice Time, or something close to it: The Committee for Skeptical Inquiry (CSI), the pro-science group that challenges pseudoscience and paranormal claims, has challenged the climate-change deniers at the Heartland Institute, which loves telling the world that climate change is all just a big hoax and that there’s been no global warming since 1998, to put up or shut up. The terms of the challenge are pretty simple. If the Heartland Institute is so certain that there’s no global warming, then surely it would be willing to stake $25,000 on an easily provable question: Read more on Science Nerds To Climate Deniers: Wanna Bet ‘Climate Change’ Isn’t Real? For Real, Wanna Bet?…
  Wonkette Music Hour

Here’s A Few More Lefty Neil Young Songs For Donald Trump To F*ck Right Off To

Not pictured: Neil Young flipping Donald Trump off behind his back.
It’s the same old story. Asshole wingnut decides to run for president, decides that the song he’s ALWAYS wanted to use is this lefty liberal anthem written by a lefty liberal rock star, and the lefty liberal rock star is like, “Fuck off, I did NOT say you could use my music, and also I hate you.” This time, it’s Neil Young, and he’s real pissed that Donald Trump decided to play “Rockin’ In The Free World” as he waddled onstage to announce that he’s pretending to run for president again. Young’s manager released a statement saying that “Donald Trump’s use of ‘Rockin’ in the Free World’ was not authorized,” and also, “Mr. Young is a longtime supporter of Bernie Sanders.” Read more on Here’s A Few More Lefty Neil Young Songs For Donald Trump To F*ck Right Off To…
  This won't work unless it does then HURRAY!

Weather Channel Has Evil Scheme To Trick Old Wingnuts Into Believing Climate Change Is Real

Whatever, he should just move to Hawaii
If you are an 86-year-old wingnut, next time you switch back to the Weather Channel from “Wheel Of Fortune,” you might be in for a surprise. There might be a terrible and bad Smartie Pants person talking at you about how “climate change is real” and “no seriously, it is real, you moron.” Even worse, it might be a Republican. Why is the Weather Channel doing tyranny and betrayal to you, when you’re just trying to find out the current forecast for as many cities as you possibly can before you fall asleep in your chair? Read more on Weather Channel Has Evil Scheme To Trick Old Wingnuts Into Believing Climate Change Is Real…
  Do You Want to Build A Snow Job?

Sen. Jim Inhofe Tells Pope To Leave Climate Change To Scientists At Big Oil

Using this picture because NEVER FORGET LOL
Sometimes Yr Wonkette thinks it might be “fun” to actually be located in Our Nation’s Capital, rather than in the wilds of Boise, Idaho, if only because it would then be possible to attend fun events like the Heartland Institute’s “climate conference” being held this week in DC, where Sen. James “If Global Warming Is Real Why Is There Snow?” Inhofe told Pope Francis to keep his mind on poping and to leave climate science to idiots on the payroll of Big Oil. Read more on Sen. Jim Inhofe Tells Pope To Leave Climate Change To Scientists At Big Oil…
  Long Hot Bummer

Superhero Barack Obama Spending Summer Vacation Saving The World

As Neil deGrasse Tyson said, maybe if we could see CO2, we'd be doing something about it
Some kids have a reading list or a paper route or maybe an aggressive agenda of sleeping late and playing Assassin’s Creed Black Flag all freaking day, but Barack Obama’s summer project is just plain old saving the world. The Wall Street Journal, which still does actual reporting now and then, reports that Obama plans to devote a lot of energy this summer to “an ambitious climate agenda that the president sees as key to his legacy.” Read more on Superhero Barack Obama Spending Summer Vacation Saving The World…
  The feud continues

Rick Santorum Says Pope Francis Is Bad At Science, Bad For America

Science experiment.
  Last week we laughed and laughed at Rick Santorum, who really thinks Pope Francis needs to shut right up about climate science, because the pope, despite having studied chemistry, is not a scientist. Why focus on things like that, when there are more important Poping duties out there, like slut-shaming and telling people to stop being gay? But damn godless liberal Pope Francis, he’s putting out an encyclical on climate change, despite Santorum’s advice to the contrary. Read more on Rick Santorum Says Pope Francis Is Bad At Science, Bad For America…