Tag Archives: climate change

  A Great Time To Major In Not Studying Things

Republicans Slash Money For NASA Because NASA Might Use It For Science

Go home, NASA, you're drunk
The House Science Committee, in a move that took absolutely no one by surprise, voted last week to slash NASA’s budget for Earth sciences, because apparently the planet we live on has had enough science done to it and doesn’t need any more. NASA is supposed to be about rockets and heroic space stuff, so the agency’s budget did get a nice additional $200 million for space flight, while roughly $300 million has been cut from the 2016-2017 budget for Earth sciences. Take that, Earth! Read more on Republicans Slash Money For NASA Because NASA Might Use It For Science…
 

If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say About Republicans, Come Sit Next To Barney Frank!

The fabulous former Massachusetts Congresshero Barney Frank — who is not known for saying how he really feels about Republicans, bigoted colleagues who “accidentally” call him a fag, whackjobs who compare President Obama to Nazis, and especially Newt Gingrich — appeared on a recent episode of “Watch What Happens: Live” with host Andy Cohen to hesitantly express some more of his mild opinions. And it’s delicious! Read more on If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say About Republicans, Come Sit Next To Barney Frank!…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!

Vacation plan: Clean apartment, finish reading that Twain biography. Vacation reality: Booze & MLP fanfic
Oh, Wonkers, we have some beautiful deletia for you this week! Looks to us like some people have really been working overtime in the Derp Mines to bring us this fine assortment of stupidity. For starters, we have this thought-provoking bit of turnabout from “John Smith” (Real name: “Bob Johnson”), who understands that Bobby Jindal just wants to protect Liberty from the homos. Just think about this — would you libs really be so hot on forcing Christians to provide services to gay people if it also meant that gay people would have to serve people with whom they have traditionally been at Culture War? Read more on Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!…
  Sunday Gossip Hour

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Sit Next To Each Other And Talk Sh*t About People

Gossiping cat has thoughts to share.
Happy Sunday, Wonketariat! We hope this love note finds you fat and happy. We should take a moment before we go get ACTUAL brunch, to do internet brunch gossip about the Most Popular Stories of the week. You all were all over the place this week, with your favorites! Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Sit Next To Each Other And Talk Sh*t About People…
  this is the law in these here parts

Racism Is Just As Imaginary As Climate Change! Your Florida Roundup

The new Sheriff Joe?
It’s time for your weekly Florida news, is everybody ready? Let’s do this! Let This Nice White Man Teach Y’all How To Be Black David Morgan, the sheriff of Escambia County — an illiterate hickberg on the westernmost edge of the Panhandle that should really be part of Alabama, but we keep it because Alabama doesn’t want it either — is a white man who has some Very Deep Thoughts™ about racism and why it does not exist. You see, some white people voted for Barack Obama, so QED motherfucker! Also, The Blacks should not call themselves African-Americans, because Morgan does not call himself a Welsh-American, why can’t you be more like him? Read more on Racism Is Just As Imaginary As Climate Change! Your Florida Roundup…
  Let's Go Kill Some Scientists

Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?

Works for media literacy too.
WordNetDaily columnist Erik “The Other Rush” Rush — he really calls himself that — would like to share with you some Thoughts About Science, which mostly boil down to: science is nice when it gives us flatscreen TVs and atomic bombs, but we’d better not trust the “scientific community” because it’s full of atheists and socialists who are trying to set themselves up as some kinds of authorities on stuff that they have no business talking about, like the age of the Earth, how life came to be on Earth and whether it’s getting hotter, none of which they really know a damn thing about. And by the end of his meditations on science, he actually appears to say it would be OK to kill a few scientists, if that’s what’s necessary to preserve Liberty. Read more on Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?…
  Kochsplaining

Koch Brothers Explain Bible To Pope. Thanks, Koch Brothers!

He'll see reason OR ELSE
While most of the world is trying to figure out what to do about this whole climate change thing before it’s too late and we are all OOPS! dead, the concerned citizens at the completely objective Heartland Institute, which happens to be funded by the also very objective Koch brothers, are looking out for more important things, like teaching Pope Francis that God loves pollution: Read more on Koch Brothers Explain Bible To Pope. Thanks, Koch Brothers!…
  Climate change climate change climate change also climate change

Obama Celebrates Earth Day By Trolling Dumb Florida Republicans

Yes, he's mocking you
It might be illegal to say “CLIMATE CHANGE” in Florida, but that’s not stopping President Obama from going there to say “CLIMATE CHANGE” a whole bunch of times, for Earth Day. Oh, does that make it awkward for you, Florida? And for all you Floridian Republicans — Gov. Rick Scott, former Gov. Jeb Bush, Sen. Marco Rubio — who are like, “Meh, Bible says nuh uh, no THOSE WORDS here”? Too bad, so sad, CLIMATE CHANGE. Read more on Obama Celebrates Earth Day By Trolling Dumb Florida Republicans…
  S-M-R-T

Marco Rubio Is Not A Scientist, Is A Idiot

Geenyus
Marco Rubio — fresh young hipster candidate for A New American Century (that already started a decade and half ago, but he’s not a mathematician, man) — explained his views on climate change in an interview with Bob Schieffer on “Face the Nation” that is so painful, your ears will bleed, so if that’s not your thing, you can read our transcript (YOU’RE WELCOME) and let your eyes bleed instead. Read more on Marco Rubio Is Not A Scientist, Is A Idiot…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: You Sheepy Sheeple Are Such Sheep!

To The Management: Please correct this image. I would never use Courier. On second thought, never mind. You'd just replace it with Comic Sans.
We have a Very Special Men And Women of Few Words edition of Dear ShitFerBrains for you today, because due to some odd alignment of the planets this week, we didn’t receive a single long, painful screed that ranged over everything from Benghazi to water fluoridation. Just a lot of staccato bursts of derp. And so the question must be asked: Is our trolls learning? Hahahaha, who are we kidding, of course not (As always, all spelling, spacing, and punctuation is reproduced verbatim). Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: You Sheepy Sheeple Are Such Sheep!…
  Fat Blasting Brain Loss Miracle

The Snake Oil Bulletin Sifts Through The Pseudoscientific Dingleberries Of Dr. Mehmet Oz

Too old for this shit.
Welcome back, pilgrims! It’s good to see you’ve returned to your old friend the Snake Oil Bulletin, the weekly compendium of the latest horsepuckey to plop itself right here on our beloved interwebs. Now normally we focus on a smattering of stories to whet your woo woo whistle, but this week we’ve decided that special devotion should be reserved for a brave, beleaguered hero, that duke of duplicitous drivel, Dr. Mehmet Oz, MD (Malarkey Dipshit). Dr. Oz has had quite the adventure over the past year, but as you’ll soon see, it takes a lot to keep a poppycock peddler down. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin Sifts Through The Pseudoscientific Dingleberries Of Dr. Mehmet Oz…
  Do We Really Need All This Knowledge?

House Science Committee Solves Climate Change By Just Not Studying It

Who wouldn't like a nice warm planet?
Good news, America! The House Science Committee is going to help solve global warming and other problems by cutting the funding to study them! If you don’t have a bunch of scientists getting rich off climate studies, there won’t be a lot of scary data to worry about, and America will be richer and happier. Strangely, they haven’t proposed curing cancer by this simple expedient…yet. Read more on House Science Committee Solves Climate Change By Just Not Studying It…
  but did he summon Beetlejuice?

Florida Appointee Utters ‘Climate Change’ Three Times In Succession, Summons Devil Himself

Did somebody say my name???
Florida, soon to be known as the “Look, Mom, I’m In The Ocean!” state, due to the fact that the liberal conspiracy of “climate change” is fixin’ to sink it real good, has been in the news lately, over the fact that you may or may not be allowed to utter the words “climate change,” if you work for Florida’s Department Of Environmental Protection (DEP). It’s not a written policy, of course — it’s just more UNDERSTOOD that, if you want to remain in good standing with your Koch Brothers-owned state gubmint, you’d better be pretty careful about saying … THOSE WORDS. Democratic state senators have been enjoying bullying Gov. Rick Scott’s various minions, trying to set evil liberal traps that force them to say the bad words, which describe something that 97% of climate scientists agree is a real, true thing. Read more on Florida Appointee Utters ‘Climate Change’ Three Times In Succession, Summons Devil Himself…
  Bummer About The Congressional Seat Though

It’s Come To This: Republican Wins JFK ‘Courage’ Prize For Believing Science

So here’s how bad our political world has gotten: The 2015 recipient of the John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Award is former South Carolina congressman Bob Inglis, who won the award for being an actual Republican who’s willing to say in public that climate change is real and caused by human activity. Apparently that is rare enough that it’s considered courageous. Read more on It’s Come To This: Republican Wins JFK ‘Courage’ Prize For Believing Science…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Rand Paul Is A Genius, You Morons!

To the editors: I liked the old library better.
Today, an abbreviated Dear Shitferbrains, seeing as how Yr Doktor Zoom has Ebola again and also needs to do his taxes like the rest of the One Percent. Not surprisingly, we heard from a lot of butthurt Rand Paul fans this week, most of whom wanted to point out that a journalist’s job is to ask a question and then write down the answers, and not to keep asking her question when Rand Paul interrupts her to tell her that her question is not a good one. “John 440″ was simply aghast that we would even write about such a non-news moment: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Rand Paul Is A Genius, You Morons!…
  Sucks To Your Ass-Mar

Obama Says Climate Change Causes Asthma; Republicans Immediately Stop Breathing To Show Him Who’s Boss

Oh, look at him acting like he Knows Things
Despite the fact that only 97% of climate scientists are convinced that global warming is real, President Barack Obama nonetheless met with medical and scientific experts Tuesday for a roundtable discussion of the public health impacts of climate change. You’d almost think that there’s a problem or something! Read more on Obama Says Climate Change Causes Asthma; Republicans Immediately Stop Breathing To Show Him Who’s Boss…
  Wishful Thinking Is Totally Different From Denial

ALEC: Global Warming Is Real, And We Think It’s FABULOUS

Well THERE'S yer problem...
Good news, everyone! The American Legislative Exchange Council, everyone’s favorite corporate whore lobbying national legislative information-sharing group promoting free-market values, is officially not a nest of climate deniers. And if you say they are, they’ll send you a pissy cease-and-desist letter, so there. Read more on ALEC: Global Warming Is Real, And We Think It’s FABULOUS…
  It's Getting Hot In Herre

Republican Senators: Can You Explain Climate Change To Us, EPA, So We Can Not Believe You Some More?

Gina McCarthy: Suspiciously cozy with Big Science
Gosh, this ought to go well: Some of the biggest climate deniers in the Senate want the EPA to school them on how climate modeling works. No doubt this is so they can gain a greater appreciation of just how complex science is, so they can marvel at how great our understanding of the natural world is. That, or they’re looking for stuff they can cherry-pick out of context to claim that global warming is a hoax, and we should start burning all the coal we can dig up before Jesus comes back. Read more on Republican Senators: Can You Explain Climate Change To Us, EPA, So We Can Not Believe You Some More?…
  Worse than Jimmy Carter

Obama Doubles Down On Dumb Plan To Create Jobs For Vets, Save Planet

Manhater
The president has gone MAD! with solar power. In a statement released Friday, the White House announced its double-down on its previously announced plan to create jobs, especially for veterans, and address climate change, increasing its goal to train 75,000 workers to do whatever it is hippie tree-hugging “clean energy” workers do: Read more on Obama Doubles Down On Dumb Plan To Create Jobs For Vets, Save Planet…
  South Florida Still Screwed

Oh Hey, The White House To Do Something On Climate Change! Tyranny, Etc., Impeach!

Now, about my disappearing habitat...
So here’s some breaking climate news that’s actually a step in the right direction. The Obama administration announced Tuesday that it has set an official target for reducing the amount of greenhouse gases we pump into the atmosphere, and has submitted that plan to the UN agency that coordinates the world’s carbon reduction efforts. So yay! We might save the planet and have fewer drowned polar bears, eventually. Read more on Oh Hey, The White House To Do Something On Climate Change! Tyranny, Etc., Impeach!…
  Next She'll Say Poverty Causes Crime Or Something

Crazy CA Rep. Barbara Lee: Global Warming Will Turn Womenfolk Into Common Whores

What a nut!
So you know how from time to time we have a good laugh at the logic of wingnut politicians and preachers who claim a causal link between two obviously disparate things, like “taking prayer out of the schools led to Sandy Hook” or “Gays, abortion, and the ACLU caused 9/11″ — that sort of thing? Well, thank goodness, now the rightwing has an example of a completely insane causal connection being predicted by a Democrat, so we suppose we’d better shut up! You see, California Rep. Barbara Lee has this crazy idea that global warming will turn women into prostitutes! Read more on Crazy CA Rep. Barbara Lee: Global Warming Will Turn Womenfolk Into Common Whores…