class warfare
GQ’s Michael Wolff Will Never Get A Table At The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe (Updated!)
Updated! TWICE!! Let us now consider the case of Michael Wolff, a mindless jerk who’ll be first up against the wall when the revolution comes. While most ape descendants on this insignificant little blue-green world struggle to keep themselves fed and sheltered, Michael Wolff has written an essay for the UK edition of GQ about [...]
Recovering Weirdo Congressbum Thaddeus McCotter Wrote A Short Story! It’s Not Very Good!
Greetings, prose-act nation, and welcome to Doktor Zoom’s Fanfic Corner. Today, we’ll be sampling some awesome fan fiction from around the web. Our first selection is from a site that doesn’t usually run fanfic, Tucker Carlson’s Internet Tendency. It’s by aspiring TV sitcom writer and Tea Party rockmeister Thad McCotter, whose author tag describes him [...]
Mitt Romney: I Am Not Unhinged
Yesterday, Joe Biden said a thing about chains that was basically Joe Biden’s way of using a common metaphor employed by Mitt Romney to attack Mitt Romney. Why is Joe Biden so racist against Romneys? Mitt remarked, sensibly mind you, that the Obama campaign is a vile cesspool of filth and “ethnic” hatred out of [...]
What’s In Your IRA? Don’t Worry, Mitt Romney Doesn’t Know Either
Oh HI, rapidly aging baby boomers! How is that retirement planning coming? From what we hear, not so hot! Perhaps if America’s baby boomers had been as smart as Mitt Romney and found a way to siphon $100,000,000 (ONE HUNDRED MILLION) into an IRA (individual retirement account to you young ones) in spite of strict [...]
Master Of Terror Stephen King Rains Buckets Of Blood On Poor Rich Folks
Stephen King (“Carrie,” “Cujo” “The Michele Bachmann Story”) is a pretty rich dude, and he has some thoughts on other rich dudes and taxes. He makes a gentle argument, comparing hardly anyone to “old, dead dogshit,” so he cannot be a regular correspondent for Your Wonkette (also, he only quotes the motto of the Church [...]
Old Lesbian Billionaire Warren Buffett Now Constantly Singing At People
It is official. Warren Buffett, the Sage of Omaha, class warrior, and by all appearances victim of Stage Four of Lesbian Bed Death, will now use his “fuck-you” money to buy a slot and make you listen to him singing whenever and wherever he wants. He has appeared with a ukelele for the Chinese New [...]
Gazillionaire Mitt Romney Whines Gov’t Employees Earn More Than He Does
Dear old Mitt Romney is worth over $250 million, so he can mail himself a check for thousands of dollars as a reward for picking his nose if the fancy should strike him. But here he is in his finest “real worker” costume lecturing steel workers about his glue-snorting theory that federal government employees are [...]
Household Income Short of $68K? Welcome To the New Poverty
Have you been laboring under the delusion that you’re still part of the tiny, rapidly vanishing Middle Class? Happy April Fools Day! A new study proves that a family of four needs $67,920 a year (pre-tax) to survive in America. And that’s basic: no vacations, no fancy dinners, no wine tastings, no fun-box deliveries from [...]
Maine Governor Broke Law By Removing and Hiding Labor Mural
Teabagger-piglet Paul LePage, who somehow became governor of Maine this year despite winning just 38% of the vote, has been aggressively trying to destroy the public worker unions as per his instructions from the Tea Party (Koch Industries). Just to make sure everyone knew he was going to be an incredible jackass in this attack [...]
Rick Santorum Knows Why Rich Don’t Pay More To Social Security: Abortion
You’ve probably heard the “social security is bankrupt!” propaganda enough times to half believe it. Social Security is outta money! — even though it’s currently sitting on $4.3 trillion, and it’s fully funded by existing contribution schedules and existing reserves for the next quarter of a century. And after 2037, it’s still 75% funded. Time [...]
Google Fat Cats Make Millions While Nation Suffers
Goddammit are rich people still getting rich these days? Observe: Google’s top four executives received million-dollar-plus bonuses last year — a truly repulsive amount when everybody else in the country is starving. Wait, what’s that you say? They haven’t asked for a bailout yet? WELL BUT STILL. [AP]
Virginia Governor Tim Kaine Cracks Wise About John McCain’s Millions Of Homes
OK, now that thing Peggy Noonan wrote about Tim Kaine’s hair makes sense. But that is not the point! The point is Tim Kaine made a crack about how John McCain can’t count very high, because John McCain is a rich man who makes his wife’s slaves do his counting for him. [YouTube]
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