Clarence Thomas Casts Lone, Brave Vote Against Voting Rights Act, Which Let Black People Vote
Monday, June 22nd, 2009
The racist states of the South — including the “honorary southern states” of Texas, Arizona and Alaska — do not like letting black and brown people vote, so 43 years ago the Voting Rights Act was signed into federal law, and ever since those officially racist jurisdictions have to get federal approval for any changes in voting law, still, because god knows we’d be back to poll taxes and grandfather clauses in about 10 minutes without the grownups keeping an eye on the crackers. So, obviously, today the “black justice” on the Supreme Court, wingnut blogger Clarence Thomas, was the brave lone voice of dissent, standing athwart the law that gave basic human rights to his race, yelling “no that shit is unconstitutional.” MORE »
What a fantastic spring it’s been in DC, what with the terrible muggy spell in early May, and now there’s nothing but terrible swampy grossness ahead! Fortunately, DC’s “celebrities” can be spotted both in- and out of doors, where they engage in elite activities such as air travel, grocery shopping, lunching, and even watching sports events. After the jump: Find out which famous politician hums loudly to himself in public bathrooms.
Let’s play a fun game and decide which of these three statements is a lie: at a recent address to a group of high school students, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas: 1) wondered why we did not have a “Bill of Responsibilities” to go along with the Bill of Rights; 2) admitted that he thinks the dishwasher is “a miracle” that performs actual magic; 3) announced that he would be compiling these revelations and other bits of folk wisdom into a Page-a-Day calendar called One Man’s Opinion, to be published by Reader’s Digest, cross-branded with a book of daily affirmations by Richard Cohen, and marketed at thousands of Cracker Barrel restaurants along I-95. [
America’s quietest Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas has boldly endured two solid years of never saying anything, ever, in oral arguments, and is now entering the third year of his quest. The last time he spoke was in a death penalty case on February 22, 2006. Since then, Cocktobers have come and gone; nations have risen and fallen. So what has this man been doing with all that time he isn’t wasting on the ol’ blah blah blah? 
An ancient book of hideous human hair samples is now on display at Philadelphia’s Academy of Natural Science, and political fanatics are lining up to see the tufts yanked or clipped from the lice-ridden skulls of America’s many dead presidents. But the fetishist who collected the bizarre witch book was unable to trick a lock away from Andrew Jackson, who took drastic measures to avoid the creep’s shears. 
Yesterday’s 
Just this morning, the Supreme Court struck down the Bush Administration’s plan to try Guantanamo detainees before military commissions, as violative of both U.S. law and the Geneva Conventions. The decision in 
Today Wonkette took a field trip to the U.S. Supreme Court. We were all excited, ’cause we — like many others — thought it might be the last day of the Term.