clarence thomas

You solved the problem of lying in politics when you were like six years old. “Just pass a law against telling lies!” dumb little like-six-year-old you said, adorably. But it wasn’t that easy. “No, little you,” said a wise adult. “We have free speech in this country, which means that you can’t stop people from […]

Once a year the Federalist Society has a dinner in Washington DC. It is a dinner for lawyers. This year they promised an appearance by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. I wondered what he might have to say as their featured guest; I had seen him a few times while he was at work and he did not […]

There is so much actual news happening, you guys. We are filled to the gills with actual news and it is killing us. We need some breathing room to find new ways to snark and we really really need some time to develop more swear-y synonyms to describe people who are assholes. So — time […]

Do you get emails from lovable font of beneficence (and apparent morning drinker) Ginny Thomas? Why not? Don’t you want to hear her plaintive cries and teeth-gnashing about how John Boehner and Eric Cantor and Mitch McConnell won’t give her an interview for her Daily Caller diary vlogs? Like this, for instance: Dear friend, Before […]

Hey gay homosexuals! Be happy! The Supreme Court is going to hear your gay cases about all the sick things you gays do, like get married and serve in the military. Wait, what? You’re NOT uniformly happy that the Supreme Court will hear your gay cases because there’s some complex different issues blah blah blah? […]

Why so sad, Clarence Thomas? [Clarence] Thomas can on occasion be melancholy in his speeches, such as saying he sometimes envies the seemingly carefree lives he sees from his chamber windows. Several years ago, he told a group of high school students that he sometimes gets “morose,” and bucks himself up by reading inspirational speeches […]

Notorious fringe-right “originalist” boobs Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas were so happy with the announcement that the Supreme Court will be hearing a challenge to the health care reform law that they celebrated immediately afterward by boozing it up with the legal team that will be arguing against the law. According to the Los Angeles […]

Fringe-right corporate lackey Clarence Thomas has famously kept his mouth shut during most of his 20 years on the Supreme Court, because how could anyone improve upon Antonin Scalia’s insane bullshit? But on Tuesday, Clarence Thomas cheerfully took the opportunity to read the conservative majority’s decision against an innocent black man in New Orleans who […]

Ginni Thomas, the Teabagging lobbyist wife of Clarence Thomas, has taken the next step in her natural progression of odd influence-peddling conservative jobs, accepting a “special correspondent” position at The Daily Caller. “We could not imagine a better person to take on this role,” said some Daily Caller guy. Yes, who on Earth could take […]

Congratulations to Lillian McEwen, that woman who was finally able to overcome years of terrible embarrassment about having sex with Clarence Thomas to write a book about it. D.C. Unmasked & Undressed is the title of this newly released memoir, because the people who write tell-all memoirs are weirdly terrible at this part of marketing. […]

Sometimes Anthony Weiner is an annoying, self-aggrandizing troll, but many times he is great! For example, here he is on Fox News, trying to give an interview about Clarence Thomas and his lobbyist Teabagger wife. But whenever Weiner finishes a thought, Megyn Kelly sees the need to slip in her own (corporation’s) thought to try […]

When questions were first raised about the retreat last month, a court spokeswoman said Justice Thomas had made a “brief drop-by” at the event in Palm Springs, Calif., in January 2008 and had given a talk. In his financial disclosure report for that year, however, Justice Thomas reported that the Federalist Society, a prominent conservative […]

Ginni Thomas may have been forced to resign her duties as Washington Teabag Queen because she was drunk-dialing Anita Hill all the time, but that doesn’t mean she can’t make a living! (Clarence Thomas doesn’t report her living on his tax forms, by the way, even though the law says he has to. But let’s […]

Why do people suddenly step down from their positions well after their controversy news cycle is over? Perhaps we will never know, but here’s another example of this phenomenon: Virginia Thomas, wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, has given up control of her Teabagger group, Liberty Central (who apparently, based on that name, want […]

Richard Cohen has heard about all of this Clarence Thomas stuff in his newspaper and is absolutely “mortified.” How could they print something a powerless lady said about a powerful Supreme Court justice? “In elementary school, some kid must have plastered a ‘kick me!’ sign on Clarence Thomas’s back — and it has never been […]