clarence thomas
Clarence Thomas’s Wife, Ginny Thomas, Does Not Think The Supreme Court Is All That
Do you get emails from lovable font of beneficence (and apparent morning drinker) Ginny Thomas? Why not? Don’t you want to hear her plaintive cries and teeth-gnashing about how John Boehner and Eric Cantor and Mitch McConnell won’t give her an interview for her Daily Caller diary vlogs? Like this, for instance: Dear friend, Before [...]
Whiny Gays Finally Get Day in Court, Keep Whining Anyway
Hey gay homosexuals! Be happy! The Supreme Court is going to hear your gay cases about all the sick things you gays do, like get married and serve in the military. Wait, what? You’re NOT uniformly happy that the Supreme Court will hear your gay cases because there’s some complex different issues blah blah blah? [...]
Emo Clarence Thomas Watches Saving Private Ryan To Buck Himself Up
Why so sad, Clarence Thomas? [Clarence] Thomas can on occasion be melancholy in his speeches, such as saying he sometimes envies the seemingly carefree lives he sees from his chamber windows. Several years ago, he told a group of high school students that he sometimes gets “morose,” and bucks himself up by reading inspirational speeches [...]
Scalia & Thomas Have Anti-Obamacare Dinner (Kagan Should Recuse)
Notorious fringe-right “originalist” boobs Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas were so happy with the announcement that the Supreme Court will be hearing a challenge to the health care reform law that they celebrated immediately afterward by boozing it up with the legal team that will be arguing against the law. According to the Los Angeles [...]
Clarence Thomas Gladly Reads Amoral Decision Against Innocent Black Guy Who Spent 14 Years On Death Row
Fringe-right corporate lackey Clarence Thomas has famously kept his mouth shut during most of his 20 years on the Supreme Court, because how could anyone improve upon Antonin Scalia’s insane bullshit? But on Tuesday, Clarence Thomas cheerfully took the opportunity to read the conservative majority’s decision against an innocent black man in New Orleans who [...]
PULITZER WATCH: Daily Caller Hires Clarence Thomas’ Wife, For Journalism
Ginni Thomas, the Teabagging lobbyist wife of Clarence Thomas, has taken the next step in her natural progression of odd influence-peddling conservative jobs, accepting a “special correspondent” position at The Daily Caller. “We could not imagine a better person to take on this role,” said some Daily Caller guy. Yes, who on Earth could take [...]
Clarence Thomas’ Heaving Body In the Heat of Passion, Described
Congratulations to Lillian McEwen, that woman who was finally able to overcome years of terrible embarrassment about having sex with Clarence Thomas to write a book about it. D.C. Unmasked & Undressed is the title of this newly released memoir, because the people who write tell-all memoirs are weirdly terrible at this part of marketing. [...]
Amazing Anthony Weiner Manages To Get In As Much Opinion As Fox Anchor
Sometimes Anthony Weiner is an annoying, self-aggrandizing troll, but many times he is great! For example, here he is on Fox News, trying to give an interview about Clarence Thomas and his lobbyist Teabagger wife. But whenever Weiner finishes a thought, Megyn Kelly sees the need to slip in her own (corporation’s) thought to try [...]
Clarence Thomas Now In ‘Trouble’ For Going On Koch-Paid Trips
When questions were first raised about the retreat last month, a court spokeswoman said Justice Thomas had made a “brief drop-by” at the event in Palm Springs, Calif., in January 2008 and had given a talk. In his financial disclosure report for that year, however, Justice Thomas reported that the Federalist Society, a prominent conservative [...]
Yeah, Clarence Thomas’ Wife Is a Lobbyist
Ginni Thomas may have been forced to resign her duties as Washington Teabag Queen because she was drunk-dialing Anita Hill all the time, but that doesn’t mean she can’t make a living! (Clarence Thomas doesn’t report her living on his tax forms, by the way, even though the law says he has to. But let’s [...]
Clarence Thomas’ Wife Too Insane For Teabagger Group, Steps Down
Why do people suddenly step down from their positions well after their controversy news cycle is over? Perhaps we will never know, but here’s another example of this phenomenon: Virginia Thomas, wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, has given up control of her Teabagger group, Liberty Central (who apparently, based on that name, want [...]
Richard Cohen Loves Sexual Harassment
Richard Cohen has heard about all of this Clarence Thomas stuff in his newspaper and is absolutely “mortified.” How could they print something a powerless lady said about a powerful Supreme Court justice? “In elementary school, some kid must have plastered a ‘kick me!’ sign on Clarence Thomas’s back — and it has never been [...]
New Pals Scalia and Kagan Hang Out At Gun Range
Antonin Scalia was spotted giving Elena Kagan “a lesson” about shootin’ crap at a shooting “club” last week, according to The Daily Caller, which has set up a tin-can telephone at the bottom of Tucker Carlson’s treehouse to receive such tips. Clarence Thomas is gonna be so pissed when he finds out his blood brother [...]
New Clarence Thomas Lady Confirms Clarence Thomas Was Gross
Lillian McEwen used to date Clarence Thomas (EWW!), but according to the Washington Post, she didn’t get the chance to testify at his confirmation hearings even though he never raped her. She is now “breaking her silence,” however, because she is “shopping to publishers” a memoir heard about that weird thing his wife did to [...]
Clarence Thomas’ Wife Leaves Creepy Voicemail For Anita Hill
Three-day weekends are awesome, amiright? But sometimes you get back to the office on Tuesday and there’s a voicemail from 7:30 a.m. on Saturday, and you’re like, “Jesus, who does that? Why couldn’t they just send an email? Or wait until they knew I’d be back in?” But then you listen to the voicemail and [...]
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