Tag: civil unions

Christian Innkeepers Eated By Homosexual Lions, How Unfortunate

Oh no, are we saying there has been a literal attack in Illinois where a troupe of campy gay lions ate some innocent Christian innkeepers to death? No, but that would be quite a story! But you just know...

Worst Psychiatrist Ever Keith Ablow Declares Marriage Dead, Removes Life Support, Burns Hospital To Ground

Never one to stoop to hyperbole, Fox News Psychiatric Head Doctor Keith Ablow proclaimed 2013 the year that marriage finally died, killed by the gays and the liberals and the courts and the polygamists, and also by the celebrities,...

Colorado State Sen. Kent Lambert Exposes ‘Mind Control’ Technology Behind Civil Unions, Then Spontaneously Combusts

How's this for a match made in heaven? No, not a ghey-marriage match, silly, those are lies from the pit of hell. We mean the combination of insane third-rate intertubes preacher Gordon "Chaps" Klingenschmitt, who sees demons everywhere --...

Colorado Legalizes Civil Unions, Moves To Desegregate Drinking Fountains Next

Congratulations, Colorado! It is the year of our lord 2013, and you have just now decided to let gay people formalize their relationships even though they put their mouths on men's wangs and/or ladies' muffins when they themselves have...

Colorado House Speaker Forced To Find More Clever Ways To Murder Undead Civil Union Bill

We thought it was pretty special last week when Colorado House Speaker Frank McNulty killed a civil union bill dead by fleeing the chamber and never coming back. But the goddamn zombie civil union bill ROSE FROM THE DEAD...

Colorado House Speaker Has Clever Solution To Killing Civil Unions: Make Like A Tree And Get Out Of Here

Why won't the Colorado legislature vote on questions of significance instead of these silly old civil unions, and the DREAM Act, and medical marijuana? That is what Colorado House Speaker Frank McNulty wanted to know after some of his...

Anti-Gay Lady Doesn’t Know Ladies Can Have Butt Sex, Too

There are no pressing issues in Colorado, so the state Senate is hearing public testimony regarding "civil unions" (butt sex). That's why this scary old lady from the "Eagle Forum" decided to lecture lawmakers on the proper use of...

Rahm Emanuel, Captivating Energy Orb Oversee Passage of Illinois Civil Unions

It is interesting that in a few short years, a very large state legalizing civil unions is now minor news. Anyway, here is phantom-eyed new Illinois resident Rahm Emanuel at the gay after-party, pictured with friend Unsettling Sentient Orb...

Illinois Approves Civil Unions; Somebody Update Wikipedia, OK?

Illinois lawmakers on Wednesday approved legislation allowing civil unions in this state, and the governor has indicated he will sign it, making Illinois one of only a handful of states to grant to same-sex couples a broad array of...

Chris Christie Endorses James ‘Rape Prank’ O’Keefe’s Latest Video

Conservative activist James O'Keefe released a video titled 'Teachers unions gone wild' claiming to show undercover footage from a New Jersey Education Association leadership conference bashing Gov. Chris Christie and discussing how hard it is for a teacher to...

Border Governors Don’t Want To Party With ‘Nerd’ Jan Brewer

Traditionally, the governors of all the states on both sides of the U.S.-Mexico border (did you know that Mexico has "states," with "governors"?) get together once a year to "celebrate border bonhomie ... issue proclamations and pledges to work...