civil unions
Worst Psychiatrist Ever Keith Ablow Declares Marriage Dead, Removes Life Support, Burns Hospital To Ground
Never one to stoop to hyperbole, Fox News Psychiatric Head Doctor Keith Ablow proclaimed 2013 the year that marriage finally died, killed by the gays and the liberals and the courts and the polygamists, and also by the celebrities, too. Game over, man. GAME OVER! And just look at the evidence: More than a year […]
Colorado State Sen. Kent Lambert Exposes ‘Mind Control’ Technology Behind Civil Unions, Then Spontaneously Combusts
How’s this for a match made in heaven? No, not a ghey-marriage match, silly, those are lies from the pit of hell. We mean the combination of insane third-rate intertubes preacher Gordon “Chaps” Klingenschmitt, who sees demons everywhere — especially in gay animals — and his new BFF, Colorado state Sen. Kent Lambert, who went […]
Colorado Legalizes Civil Unions, Moves To Desegregate Drinking Fountains Next
Congratulations, Colorado! It is the year of our lord 2013, and you have just now decided to let gay people formalize their relationships even though they put their mouths on men’s wangs and/or ladies’ muffins when they themselves have wangs or muffins. We would be bitchier about this, but Talking Points Memo assures us that […]
Colorado House Speaker Forced To Find More Clever Ways To Murder Undead Civil Union Bill
We thought it was pretty special last week when Colorado House Speaker Frank McNulty killed a civil union bill dead by fleeing the chamber and never coming back. But the goddamn zombie civil union bill ROSE FROM THE DEAD when the stupid governor ordered the Lege into a special session to vote on it and […]
Colorado House Speaker Has Clever Solution To Killing Civil Unions: Make Like A Tree And Get Out Of Here
Why won’t the Colorado legislature vote on questions of significance instead of these silly old civil unions, and the DREAM Act, and medical marijuana? That is what Colorado House Speaker Frank McNulty wanted to know after some of his fellow Republicans voted to let a civil unions bill out of committee and to the floor […]
Anti-Gay Lady Doesn’t Know Ladies Can Have Butt Sex, Too
There are no pressing issues in Colorado, so the state Senate is hearing public testimony regarding “civil unions” (butt sex). That’s why this scary old lady from the “Eagle Forum” decided to lecture lawmakers on the proper use of the anus and the sphincter — and by “proper,” she definitely does not mean she’d like […]
Rahm Emanuel, Captivating Energy Orb Oversee Passage of Illinois Civil Unions
It is interesting that in a few short years, a very large state legalizing civil unions is now minor news. Anyway, here is phantom-eyed new Illinois resident Rahm Emanuel at the gay after-party, pictured with friend Unsettling Sentient Orb of Pure Energy, celebrating his new state’s basic human decency, via Wonkette operative “Gregg K.”
Illinois Approves Civil Unions; Somebody Update Wikipedia, OK?
Illinois lawmakers on Wednesday approved legislation allowing civil unions in this state, and the governor has indicated he will sign it, making Illinois one of only a handful of states to grant to same-sex couples a broad array of legal rights and responsibilities similar to those of marriage. Well, there you go. The inevitable is […]
Chris Christie Endorses James ‘Rape Prank’ O’Keefe’s Latest Video
Conservative activist James O’Keefe released a video titled ‘Teachers unions gone wild’ claiming to show undercover footage from a New Jersey Education Association leadership conference bashing Gov. Chris Christie and discussing how hard it is for a teacher to get fired. At a town-hall style talk in Monmouth Junction on Tuesday Christie said that he […]
Border Governors Don’t Want To Party With ‘Nerd’ Jan Brewer
Traditionally, the governors of all the states on both sides of the U.S.-Mexico border (did you know that Mexico has “states,” with “governors”?) get together once a year to “celebrate border bonhomie … issue proclamations and pledges to work together, air grievances and concerns behind closed doors.” In other words, they drink unseemly amounts of […]
