• Say goodbye to all the zeitgeist-y cover stories in your City Paper. [The Georgetown Voice]
• Here is a nauseating list of all eggs and ice cream and coffee that famous Washington celebrities eat upon waking. [DCist]
• Why all DCs bagels are so terrible, and a $700 billion Bagel Bailout Plan. [City Paper]
• Ha ha, here are the photos from Roll Call’s “Fabulous Fifty” Party, which are just shots of a dozen or so frustrated people yelling into cell phones and avoiding eye contact by sadly looking down into their Diet Pepsis. [Fishbowl DC]
• Terrible fake postal terrorism struck the Dept. of Veterans’ Affairs, as an envelope arrived brimming with Suspicious White Powder and intolerance. [Washington Post]

Yesterday, the Washington City Paper ran a cover story about Late Night Shots, DC’s finest closed social networking site for UNC grads who work hard to maintain that special mix of date rape, shitty beer, and racial homogeneity that is the Georgetown nightlife. The LNSers got mad and left funny comments. Yesterday, we looked at their City Paper comment tirades. Today, we move, once more, to the belly of the beast — the LNS forums themselves.

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We were going to leave the coverage of this to our sister site Jezebel, but you guys seem to think we should comment on the City Paper’s Late Night Shots story. We didn’t have much to add until we read the comments. Because once you get bored mocking the lifestyle of the wealthy and soulless, you can still pick on their defensiveness.

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* Rosenbaum killer gets 60-year sentence. [Read Express]
* DC pedestrian survey asks you to list specific spots around town “that need improvements to make walking safer and more comfortable.” [Mr. T in DC]
* Attendees of the WP’s Blogger Summit traded their souls for pens. [Harmany Music]
* The City Paper’s serial comma killer. Subversive. [DCist]
* Note to Laura Sessions Step: “Please stop telling old people that we break-up with each other over text message. Please stop making references to ‘freak dancing.’” [why.i.hate.dc]
* Old Dominion Brewhouse opens at 1219 9th St NW tomorrow. [Gallery Place Living]

* Local blogger quits blogging, remains local. [KathrynOn]
* The Express basically thinks you’re a complete loser. [FreeRide]
* Wait, this blogger quit too. [CircleV]
* This blogger has not quit blogging, making us really dislike Stephanie Menicmer. [Circumlocutor]

* Oohhs and Aahhs soul food now open 11PM until 5AM on weekends. [DCFUD]
* The National Park Service cares more about folks who ride Segways on the National Mall than ride bikes. [WABA]
* “I suppose I should be flattered that reporters from the Washington City Paper and Columbia Journalism Review Daily have been investigating this blog. But, really, I’m just confused.” [circumlocator]
* List of Marion Barry hijinks from 2005-2006 season of Who Gives a Fuck? [a blog for the rest of us]

The Washington City Paper, read by tens of people across DC, is working on a lengthy story about National Journal investigative reporter Murray Waas. We don’t cover the CP too much, on account of not reading it too much, but when the following email exchange showed up in our inbox, we had to reconsider.

It slightly concerns this amusing story from the summer, in which an anonymous blogger (of no great import) reported on CP editor Eric Wemple’s troubles with his next-door neighbors, a pet spa. It involved literal shit-slinging and the employment of biometrics.

Naturally, CP reporter Jason Cherkis was deployed to “out” an anonymous blogger who doesn’t really have anything to do with Murray Waas.

After the jump, learn how legitimate journalistic organizations use their mighty powers of investigation to ineptly try to figure out who writes local blogs, with reporter Cherkis and former Waas assistant Bryan Keefer.

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• Gary Condit’s not the only one who enjoys hunting in Rock Creek Park. [Beauty and the Beltway]

• The City Paper sucks, it’s dreary, knee-jerk, and written for a different city. But this week’s cover story by Franklin Schneider is an absolute must read. Franklin Schneider is a really good writer, but sometimes, he’s shocking! Like, did you know that when you have sex with a “scathingly intelligent” woman on her period, your face and head become caked in blood? So much blood that you have to shower with your mouth closed to avoid “the red water.” Did you know that women are “venal trolls” who only talk about American Idol? Did you know that this shit comprises the City Paper’s cover story? It’s shocking! This blogger takes Franklin Schneider apart. [why.i.hate.dc]
• “Why wouldn’t Pastor Ted get his jones on with a hotter escort than Mike Jones? Does Jones have a great personality?” We don’t know, Jones is kinda hot for an old guy. [Worth Repeating]
• Poor WETA blog: “Do you agree that Democrats need to pay closer attention to Black issues? Or Latino, Asian, Muslim? Do you think the Republicans are doing a better or worse job?” You’re doing nothing, going nowhere. [WETA Intersections]
• Another DC journalist quits! And lists top five “I hate this job” songs. [Audiogram]
• If you lived here, you could be a missing person by now! [DCist]

Washington City Paper editor Erik Wemple: his inflated self-importance, use of his paper to settle petty scores, and hilarious two-day-long editorship of the Village Voice (didn’t get along with Christgau or something) must now take a backseat to the hilarious antics of his dogshit-flinging wife. MORE »