Oh rats, we discovered unemployed blogger Meghan McCain’s YouTube channel and were all set to post “A Children’s Treasury of Comical Meghan McCain YouTube Videos,” but they are all SO BORING. Half of them are about visiting deformed people in third-world countries. Who cares about those people! (At least they have excuses for being unemployed, btw.) Here’s the only decent one, and it’s five months old. It documents the famous Sedona barbecue the McCains held for their journalist friends back in March. MORE »

In 2004 all the Republicans hated the Democratic ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy (and just insane) woman. But now that it is 2008, all the Democrats hate the Republican ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy, insane woman. How awful is Fat Cat John McCain? So awful that he literally has no idea how many homes “he” owns. MORE »

Kathleen Portalksi is no Cooter Obama, but she’ll do! This lady is 11 years older than her more famous half-sister, Cindy McCain. And when their father (Jim Hensley) died, he left just $10,000 to Kathleen and bequeathed his entire massive beer fortune to Cindy. That is pretty fucking harsh. MORE »

Wonkette Hand Operative “David” writes, “MSNBC just reported that Cindy McCain has been taken to the hospital for a hand-related issue. They went on to claim that she had a ‘pre-existing hand condition’ and that some Bitter had gripped her hand so hard during a campaign stop that she had to be taken for treatment.” We can find nothing about this on the Internets. WTF? What is happening, America?? MORE »

This is the Bondage Room in one of John McCain’s nine homes (seriously, NINE), this one in Phoenix. Lucky Architectural Digest did a whole tour of the house and you can view their slide show here. Now it’s quite possible that John McCain has never been inside his Phoenix home, and who can blame him? That’s some scary, macabre shit! JUST LOOK at that thing to the right of the big cigar store Indian’s head. What the fuck! It’s like the deformed offspring of Beetlejuice and dead Heath Ledger’s Joker, wearing a brown lunchbag diaper and carrying a gay umbrella. What the fuck!!! [Architectural Digest]

We told you how John McCain offered up his “old lady” to the biker mob at Sturgis, and then we showed you the awkward video, but now we must present this version, which begins with the incredible confession from McCain that he’s only allowed onstage as a warm-up midget for Kid Rock. MORE »

This is the debut advertisement for a new initiative called DrugDealerCindy.com, launched by a bunch of marijuana cigarette addicts at the group S.A.F.E.R., “Safer Alternative For Enjoyable Recreation.” Ha ha, the first word in your title is also the acronym itself. MORE »

Here’s an official Buffalo Chip poster advertising that thing John McCain went to yesterday with the Bitters. His name is hidden somewhere on this poster. And look at Cindy there in her cunt outfit, just cold tamin’ the buffalo.

• DISTURBANCE IN OUR LOCALE: A Wonkette tipster writes: “Something’s going on in Dupont.. there is a row of ambulances and firetrucks lining New Hampshire from the Jury’s up to Corcoran St… also seems to be Special Ops and other fire dept- related cars…. Any idea what’s up?” Yeah no clue whatsoever, since we haven’t left our house in 10 months. Maybe Miss Buffalo Trollop Chip is showing off her cans for the local enforcement officers?

Here’s the video of John McCain offering up his wife to the biker crowd yesterday, in South Dakota. It’s the most sexist thing we’ve seen all campaign. Look at how excited John McCain is about serving up his wife for the nudie show, so these mutts can get their greasy paws all over her. He has a little trouble looking her in the eye, hmm? [YouTube]

That John McCain really is a “man of the people,” which is why he went out to the Sturgis biker rally in South Dakota yesterday to praise the slobs for their slavish dependence on Muslim Arab petroleum. “This is my first time here,” McCain told the crowd of fat, tattooed motorcycle fetishists from the suburbs, “but I recognize that sound. It’s the sound of freedom.” The sound, actually, was just these people revving their foreign-oil powered bikes for no reason at all beyond a childlike delight in destroying everybody else’s peace and quiet. Oh, and then McCain offered Cindy to the motorcyclists, in a nod to the old Hells Angels’ tradition of letting everybody bang your old lady. MORE »