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Posts Tagged ‘cindy mccain’

Liveblogging Cindy McCain And The Talking Motion Picture About John S. McCain’s FIVE AND A HALF YEARS In Vietnamese Maverick Cauldron

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

And that's how he got his WALNUTS.John McCain was a prisoner of war once, which automatically qualified him for every job ever invented, including haberdasher, whale scientist, and sex toy engineer. Let’s see how many people in this biographical film say, “That’s offensive!” when they are asked an actual question about John McCain. MORE »


Greetings From The Empty, Terrible Republican Convention-a-thon

Monday, September 1st, 2008

Here’s the deal: we’re all voting for John McCain on November whateverth. Some hurricane somewhere is completely foiling this convention’s plans, and yet the show here is shockingly better managed, more efficient and less stressful than the Denver thing. Probably because no one else is here, at all. Heh. Here are some more pictures from Convention Monday which just ended FOR CHRIST’S SAKE like 20 minutes ago, around 5:15 “local” time. MORE »


Laura Bush Talks A Bit, And Cindy McCain Says Hi, The End

Monday, September 1st, 2008

OH SHIT IT'S A GIANT RICK PERRY!Live from the Xcel Energy Center! Uh, Laura Bush! She spoke, softly, and a giant video Rick Perry appeared, telling the very sparse crowd that he was going to save the poor people who maybe got flooded. He was standing by an airplane! MORE »


Monday, September 1st, 2008

Here comes the story of the hurricane ...OUR NATION’S WEATHER LADIES: Cindy McCain and Laura Bush will actually (maybe) speak today — beginning at 4:50 p.m., Central time — at the Republican convention! They will talk about, uh, Gustav. The hurricane. They will talk about a hurricane. This is the new GOP platform: Talking about a hurricane. [McClatchy]


Friday, August 29th, 2008

MUST EAT PILLS.EVERYBODY HATES THE McCAINS: Ha ha, Cindy McCain’s sister tells US Magazine, “I’m voting for Barack Obama.” [US Magazine]


McCain Campaign Says Obama Would Hit A Lady

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

The McCain people are pretty hopped up on steroids today and are issuing some tuff talk after this morning’s delightful housing kerfuffle. They’re putting the finishing touches on an ad about Obama’s “slum landlord” friend Tony Rezko, a topic they claim to have avoided before today, when Obama supposedly “opened the door” to this sort of nasty attack. To most people this logic would be a non sequitur — but most people do not understand logic quite like the McCain Rapid Response Team! MORE »


Cindy McCain’s Mother Teresa Story Is Crap, Too

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

The Magic Nun.Thieving drug-addict beer heiress Cindy McCain can’t even keep her Third World Orphan Hunting stories straight! Both Cindy and the McCain campaign have repeatedly put out this story about Cindy traveling the world to laugh at poor people but then Mother Teresa said “Adopt these orphans you must,” and then Cindy adopted a couple of orphans, forgetting one on the plane and raising the other as Meghan’s unwanted little sister. But this, too, is a lie, as Cindy McCain has never met Mother Teresa. [Crooks and Liars/AMERICAblog]


Meghan McCain’s YouTube Videos Are Boring

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

Oh rats, we discovered unemployed blogger Meghan McCain’s YouTube channel and were all set to post “A Children’s Treasury of Comical Meghan McCain YouTube Videos,” but they are all SO BORING. Half of them are about visiting deformed people in third-world countries. Who cares about those people! (At least they have excuses for being unemployed, btw.) Here’s the only decent one, and it’s five months old. It documents the famous Sedona barbecue the McCains held for their journalist friends back in March. MORE »


John McCain Does Not Know How Many Baronial Estates He Has

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

That hot dog cost $500In 2004 all the Republicans hated the Democratic ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy (and just insane) woman. But now that it is 2008, all the Democrats hate the Republican ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy, insane woman. How awful is Fat Cat John McCain? So awful that he literally has no idea how many homes “he” owns. MORE »


Cindy McCain Has Secret Angry Half-Sister

Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

Well shucks she looks perfectly pleasant hereKathleen Portalksi is no Cooter Obama, but she’ll do! This lady is 11 years older than her more famous half-sister, Cindy McCain. And when their father (Jim Hensley) died, he left just $10,000 to Kathleen and bequeathed his entire massive beer fortune to Cindy. That is pretty fucking harsh. MORE »