Tag Archives: cindy mccain

  No country for Lindsey Graham

Forget Bushes And Clintons: John McCain Will Start Dynasty With ‘Illegitimate Son’ Lindsey Graham

Southern gentleman and South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham appeared on “Meet the Press” on Sunday — guess John McCain was busy blah blahing on all the other Sunday shows — to say that he is definitely considering running for president if he can find enough rich white men to vote him into office. (Nope, he cannot. But he already knows that, on account of how he said so in 2012, when, in an odd moment of honesty he confessed that his beloved Grand Ol’ Party is “not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term.”) Read more on Forget Bushes And Clintons: John McCain Will Start Dynasty With ‘Illegitimate Son’ Lindsey Graham…
  yay

Cindy McCain, Philanthropist & Humanitarian, Simply Loves This Weather!

Wanted-to-be-FLOTUS Cindy McCain took a break Monday evening from her important work of being a Humanitarian and Philanthropist who Cares Deeply About Refugees to let us know that she’s having the time of her life in SUNNY SAN DIEGO, YAY!!! Let’s see what other folks were Tweeting yesterday evening… Read more on Cindy McCain, Philanthropist & Humanitarian, Simply Loves This Weather!…
  five and a half years alan

John McCain: I Was Against the War on Women After I Was For It

Hooray, you guys, “Country First” John McCain can now go back to being America’s Sweetheart Divorced Husband! Having just a few weeks ago voted for the Blunt Amendment — that stupid thing that Mitch McConnell got a boner for, about letting all private employers determine just how slutty their workers were allowed to be in their off-hours — Senor Straight-Talk is now really wishing the GOP would just “get off it.” Read more on John McCain: I Was Against the War on Women After I Was For It…
  friiiiiiday

Cindy McCain Criticizes Husband On Gay Stuff Or Whatever

Cindy McCain was allowed to be part of the NOH8 campaign because she was sort of part of the 2008 election, we guess, the election in which Proposition 8 was passed. So she thinks gays should have some rights or whatever, even if her husband doesn’t because he will say anything to stay in the Senate forever. And now she is in some sort of Web video about this? Which implicitly says her husband IS MAKING GAY KIDS KILL THEMSELVES? Politics news. Read more on Cindy McCain Criticizes Husband On Gay Stuff Or Whatever…
  anti-incumbent fever

You Still Have John McCain To Kick Around, Forever

America’s new Robert Byrd is John McCain, who will never be voted out of the Senate because Arizona Republicans are also too old and confused and stupid to know what’s happening, ever. Hooray for the ex-Maverick! It only cost Juan the last crumbs of his integrity and legacy, and it cost Cindy $20 million. But at least she gets to send Walnuts back to Washington and out of her way, while she drools over young Navy SEALs in an Rx haze. John McCain has handily defeated crazy teevee huckster J.D. Hayworth. Read more on You Still Have John McCain To Kick Around, Forever…
  hucksters

Cindy McCain Wants You To Sign John McCain’s Last Birfday Card

“Today, I am writing to request your help. John’s birthday is on August 29th, and I very much want you and many of his other loyal friends and supporters to be part of the celebration.” YOU MEAN WE GET TO COME OVER AND LISTEN TO HIM COMPLAIN ABOUT STUFF, CINDY? Awesome! Yes, the great campaign e-mail tradition of the candidate’s spouse asking you to “sign” the ol’ birfday card has come up for the McCain camp. Except because it’s John McCain, it’s just depressing. Read more on Cindy McCain Wants You To Sign John McCain’s Last Birfday Card…
  that's cool though cindy

Not Even Wonkett Thinks This Picture Is Funny, Cindy McCain!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Cindy McCain came out in favor of gay marriage and John McCain decided it was the last straw and he committed her and they’re keeping her in a padded cell and this is what she looks like now GAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! [Rumproast] Read more on Not Even Wonkett Thinks This Picture Is Funny, Cindy McCain!…
  nice ladies

You Internet People Are *Torturing* Cindy McCain!

Cut it out, Wonkett! Cindy McCain’s really really upset. She gave an interview to People about her barfy headaches and said funny things and all *you* people did was LAUGH at these funny things. Now she is raising an army of devils, to kill everyone. Read more on You Internet People Are *Torturing* Cindy McCain!…
  secret struggles

Did The Migraines Get Actionable Intelligence When They Tortured Cindy McCain?

Ooh, an interesting interview with Cindy McCain in the latest issue of The New Yorker!… wait… the latest issue of People magazine! We learn a number of things in this feature, “Cindy McCain’s Secret Struggle with Migraines,” most notably that she has a secret struggle with migraines. They are almost as painful as a torture session in the Hanoi Hilton, she claims, in this actual real-life quote: “Torture. Being tied to a chair for four days. I can’t imagine how unbearable that pain must have been, but yeah, I can, because a migraine may come close.” Absolutely. Maybe she should ask her doctor for (= steal) some Percocet or Vicodin, to alleviate the pain? [People] Read more on Did The Migraines Get Actionable Intelligence When They Tortured Cindy McCain?…
  op-art by lauri apple

Shadow Figure(s) Behind ‘Wonkett’ Revealed

Your 24-hour Cindy McCain news network brings you this Hot Tip regarding the whereabouts and identity of the mysterious “Wonkett”: It could be any number of sick and depraved individuals scattered across the country. Part-time police composite artist Lauri Apple has graciously offered to render a few of the more likely suspects. Click the little picture to ENLARGE. Read more on Shadow Figure(s) Behind ‘Wonkett’ Revealed…
  oh boy

Hey Everyone, You Can Sign John McCain’s Birthday Card With A Personal Message!

O Holy Day, look what just dropped in ye olde “Wonkett” tips box! Cougs is back for more: “Will you follow this link to sign the birthday card? There’s even a special space to leave a personal message of encouragement for John. After you’ve signed the card, I hope you’ll make a generous contribution to John’s reelection campaign, so he can continue his service to our country.” We will do one of these things! Read more on Hey Everyone, You Can Sign John McCain’s Birthday Card With A Personal Message!…
  aged like a fine wine

Cindy ‘Cougs’ McCain Loves Those San Diego Soldier Boys

Political wife person Cindy McCain is summering at her home in Coronado (“fancy San Diego”)… right next a huge base of sexy sexy Navy boys! Miss Cindy posted this naughty pic on her Twitter with the message, “The Navy Seals running on my beach. They look great!” PRRR, kitty. Watch out SEALs! [Twitter] Read more on Cindy ‘Cougs’ McCain Loves Those San Diego Soldier Boys…
  hmm!

WHO IS THIS DEPENDENT CHILD? Now what is this we see in the Senate financial disclosures: “Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and his wife, Cindy, owe more than $15,000 on a joint credit card that is charging 25 percent interest; Cindy McCain owes between $15,000 and $50,000 on another charge card; and a dependent child has racked up between $15,000 and $50,000 on an American Express Card as well.” [Politico] Read more on …
  major interviews

Meghan McCain Grills Mother Cindy In Stunning Interview

Like many unemployed Americans, “first daughter” Meghan McCain now blogs for The Daily Beast. Tapping deep into her journalistic Rolodex of sources, she was able to score an interview with John McCain’s second and current wife, Cindy! Meghan uses the opportunity to ask such pressing questions as, “The one thing I always wished was that people would have gotten to see your sense of humor in different situations. Why do you think that never was able to happen?” Ha ha THE INTERNET. Read more on Meghan McCain Grills Mother Cindy In Stunning Interview…
  trollops

John McCain Won’t Let Cindy Dance For America

WALNUTS ruins everything again! His despised wife, Cindy, wanted to be on the popular teevee sitcom Dancing With The Stars, according to the very reliable Page Six. Gross! The anonymous source says that “she wanted it very badly,” but then this week John McCain “put the kibosh on it.” Ha ha he thinks his wife is such a whore, all the time. Since he is going to die soon, you’d think he’d let his young rich wife have a little fun on her own, no? [NY Post] Read more on John McCain Won’t Let Cindy Dance For America…
  gross affairs

Cindy McCain Caught Cheating With Ponytailed Loser?

For the past six months, the National Enquirer has devoted 148% of its coverage to the extramarital affairs of political types. This month’s installment brings you Cindy McCain’s torrid face-sucking antics with a “a long-haired man who resembles ‘a washed-up ’80s rock musician.'” Ugh, gross. Read more on Cindy McCain Caught Cheating With Ponytailed Loser?…
  harridans

Cindy McCain’s Angry Anti-Obama Rant Tape Discovered!

Why is Cindy McCain so angry all of the time? Can America afford to have a first lady who is such an angry angry harridan? What a terribly scary woman, with her angry rants! Ah well, at least she is not as terrifying as Michelle Obama, who has a classy hairdo and says classy things on Larry King Live all the time. [YouTube] Read more on Cindy McCain’s Angry Anti-Obama Rant Tape Discovered!…
  working the room

Post-Debate Video: McCain Flees, Obama Stays Forever

Here is that remarkable video from last night, just after the debate. The news channels quickly cut to their commentators and spin rooms and such, but the C-SPAN cameras stayed as long as there was a candidate in the room. Here’s what to watch for: Read more on Post-Debate Video: McCain Flees, Obama Stays Forever…
  gruesome family portraits

McCain Family Cover Photo On People Will Sell Maybe Four Copies

After a busy two weeks of Palin family covers and about six months of Obama family covers, the trashy supermarket magazines need something new, yet still kind of political, because maybe that’s what America is sort of half-interested in, for the moment. Let’s see, are there any other charming political families to put on the cover? Read more on McCain Family Cover Photo On People Will Sell Maybe Four Copies…
  rumors on the internets

Get That Sunny Alaskan Tan, All Year Round!

Palin had a tanning bed installed in the Alaska’s governor’s mansion. She could see Russia from that tanning bed. [Ezra Klein] Look into Barack Obama’s very soul with a theocrat/secularist ass thermometer that also appears to be a hypnosis device. [BeliefNet] Read more on Get That Sunny Alaskan Tan, All Year Round!…
  tramp stamp

Duck Hunting Stamp Card Directs You To Hot Phone Sex Line

Every year duck hunters have to get a stamp showing they’re allowed to shoot these animals that Cindy McCain enjoys bothering so much, and the cards that the stamp goes on have a hilarious misprint! Instead of giving you the number to order more duck stamps, it gives you the number where you can have sexytalk with pretty ladies for $1.99 a minute. And that, friends, is the difference between 1-800-STAMP24 and 1-800-TRAMP24. Silly Fish and Wildlife Service, with your accidental sex shenanigans! [Star-Tribune] Read more on Duck Hunting Stamp Card Directs You To Hot Phone Sex Line…