Wonkette

The McCain people are pretty hopped up on steroids today and are issuing some tuff talk after this morning’s delightful housing kerfuffle. They’re putting the finishing touches on an ad about Obama’s “slum landlord” friend Tony Rezko, a topic they claim to have avoided before today, when Obama supposedly “opened the door” to this sort of nasty attack. To most people this logic would be a non sequitur — but most people do not understand logic quite like the McCain Rapid Response Team! MORE »

Thieving drug-addict beer heiress Cindy McCain can’t even keep her Third World Orphan Hunting stories straight! Both Cindy and the McCain campaign have repeatedly put out this story about Cindy traveling the world to laugh at poor people but then Mother Teresa said “Adopt these orphans you must,” and then Cindy adopted a couple of orphans, forgetting one on the plane and raising the other as Meghan’s unwanted little sister. But this, too, is a lie, as Cindy McCain has never met Mother Teresa. [Crooks and Liars/AMERICAblog]

Oh rats, we discovered unemployed blogger Meghan McCain’s YouTube channel and were all set to post “A Children’s Treasury of Comical Meghan McCain YouTube Videos,” but they are all SO BORING. Half of them are about visiting deformed people in third-world countries. Who cares about those people! (At least they have excuses for being unemployed, btw.) Here’s the only decent one, and it’s five months old. It documents the famous Sedona barbecue the McCains held for their journalist friends back in March. MORE »

In 2004 all the Republicans hated the Democratic ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy (and just insane) woman. But now that it is 2008, all the Democrats hate the Republican ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy, insane woman. How awful is Fat Cat John McCain? So awful that he literally has no idea how many homes “he” owns. MORE »

Kathleen Portalksi is no Cooter Obama, but she’ll do! This lady is 11 years older than her more famous half-sister, Cindy McCain. And when their father (Jim Hensley) died, he left just $10,000 to Kathleen and bequeathed his entire massive beer fortune to Cindy. That is pretty fucking harsh. MORE »

Wonkette Hand Operative “David” writes, “MSNBC just reported that Cindy McCain has been taken to the hospital for a hand-related issue. They went on to claim that she had a ‘pre-existing hand condition’ and that some Bitter had gripped her hand so hard during a campaign stop that she had to be taken for treatment.” We can find nothing about this on the Internets. WTF? What is happening, America?? MORE »

This is the Bondage Room in one of John McCain’s nine homes (seriously, NINE), this one in Phoenix. Lucky Architectural Digest did a whole tour of the house and you can view their slide show here. Now it’s quite possible that John McCain has never been inside his Phoenix home, and who can blame him? That’s some scary, macabre shit! JUST LOOK at that thing to the right of the big cigar store Indian’s head. What the fuck! It’s like the deformed offspring of Beetlejuice and dead Heath Ledger’s Joker, wearing a brown lunchbag diaper and carrying a gay umbrella. What the fuck!!! [Architectural Digest]

We told you how John McCain offered up his “old lady” to the biker mob at Sturgis, and then we showed you the awkward video, but now we must present this version, which begins with the incredible confession from McCain that he’s only allowed onstage as a warm-up midget for Kid Rock. MORE »

This is the debut advertisement for a new initiative called DrugDealerCindy.com, launched by a bunch of marijuana cigarette addicts at the group S.A.F.E.R., “Safer Alternative For Enjoyable Recreation.” Ha ha, the first word in your title is also the acronym itself. MORE »

Here’s an official Buffalo Chip poster advertising that thing John McCain went to yesterday with the Bitters. His name is hidden somewhere on this poster. And look at Cindy there in her cunt outfit, just cold tamin’ the buffalo.