cindy mccain

Wanted-to-be-FLOTUS Cindy McCain took a break Monday evening from her important work of being a Humanitarian and Philanthropist who Cares Deeply About Refugees to let us know that she’s having the time of her life in SUNNY SAN DIEGO, YAY!!! Let’s see what other folks were Tweeting yesterday evening…

Hooray, you guys, “Country First” John McCain can now go back to being America’s Sweetheart Divorced Husband! Having just a few weeks ago voted for the Blunt Amendment — that stupid thing that Mitch McConnell got a boner for, about letting all private employers determine just how slutty their workers were allowed to be in […]

Cindy McCain was allowed to be part of the NOH8 campaign because she was sort of part of the 2008 election, we guess, the election in which Proposition 8 was passed. So she thinks gays should have some rights or whatever, even if her husband doesn’t because he will say anything to stay in the […]

America’s new Robert Byrd is John McCain, who will never be voted out of the Senate because Arizona Republicans are also too old and confused and stupid to know what’s happening, ever. Hooray for the ex-Maverick! It only cost Juan the last crumbs of his integrity and legacy, and it cost Cindy $20 million. But […]

“Today, I am writing to request your help. John’s birthday is on August 29th, and I very much want you and many of his other loyal friends and supporters to be part of the celebration.” YOU MEAN WE GET TO COME OVER AND LISTEN TO HIM COMPLAIN ABOUT STUFF, CINDY? Awesome! Yes, the great campaign […]

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Cindy McCain came out in favor of gay marriage and John McCain decided it was the last straw and he committed her and they’re keeping her in a padded cell and this is what she looks like now GAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! [Rumproast]

Cut it out, Wonkett! Cindy McCain’s really really upset. She gave an interview to People about her barfy headaches and said funny things and all *you* people did was LAUGH at these funny things. Now she is raising an army of devils, to kill everyone.

Ooh, an interesting interview with Cindy McCain in the latest issue of The New Yorker!… wait… the latest issue of People magazine! We learn a number of things in this feature, “Cindy McCain’s Secret Struggle with Migraines,” most notably that she has a secret struggle with migraines. They are almost as painful as a torture […]

Your 24-hour Cindy McCain news network brings you this Hot Tip regarding the whereabouts and identity of the mysterious “Wonkett”: It could be any number of sick and depraved individuals scattered across the country. Part-time police composite artist Lauri Apple has graciously offered to render a few of the more likely suspects. Click the little […]

O Holy Day, look what just dropped in ye olde “Wonkett” tips box! Cougs is back for more: “Will you follow this link to sign the birthday card? There’s even a special space to leave a personal message of encouragement for John. After you’ve signed the card, I hope you’ll make a generous contribution to […]

Hiya, Cougs! “Everything?” Hard to say. But the McCain Family’s illiterate psychobabble, on Twitter? Always! Jesus. Why won’t these satire sites GROW UP AND GET SERIOUS? [Twitter]

Political wife person Cindy McCain is summering at her home in Coronado (“fancy San Diego”)… right next a huge base of sexy sexy Navy boys! Miss Cindy posted this naughty pic on her Twitter with the message, “The Navy Seals running on my beach. They look great!” PRRR, kitty. Watch out SEALs! [Twitter]

HMM!  2:33 pm June 12, 2009

by Jim Newell

WHO IS THIS DEPENDENT CHILD? Now what is this we see in the Senate financial disclosures: “Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and his wife, Cindy, owe more than $15,000 on a joint credit card that is charging 25 percent interest; Cindy McCain owes between $15,000 and $50,000 on another charge card; and a dependent child has […]

Like many unemployed Americans, “first daughter” Meghan McCain now blogs for The Daily Beast. Tapping deep into her journalistic Rolodex of sources, she was able to score an interview with John McCain’s second and current wife, Cindy! Meghan uses the opportunity to ask such pressing questions as, “The one thing I always wished was that […]

WALNUTS ruins everything again! His despised wife, Cindy, wanted to be on the popular teevee sitcom Dancing With The Stars, according to the very reliable Page Six. Gross! The anonymous source says that “she wanted it very badly,” but then this week John McCain “put the kibosh on it.” Ha ha he thinks his wife […]